Stuck...

[Germany_Baby]

Hello everyone. I am absolutely lost in this situation I am in. I about had it and I could use the help from anyone at this point. Ok, so I have this guy in my life who is absolutely amazing, who I have connected with very well. We have known each other for almost 6 months now and I would say that things are getting really serious between us. But, my parents do not like him at all and want me to stay away from this guy. This guy in my life does not have a wealthy background. He has had to work for everything in his life and he doesn't take anything for granted. He currently works two jobs to support his sister, his niece, and himself. He lost his house during a really bad flood and had to relocate. So he is, to say the least, a motivated man who never stops striving to do better. He does not have a college degree. But he is very bright. At the beginning of our relationship, he had really horrible trust issues that spun out of control and caused him to do horrible actions such as: check my phone, have me call him when I am at home with my family so he knows what I am doing, and we had another bad incident where he threatened to use the pictures I sent him and expose me on the web and to my parents. But believe it or not, he has changed progressively, and I forgave him for everything he has done. He has shown me that he does trust me and does not show this person he used to be. He is working on himself, because he knows that I will leave if he starts to act out again...

 

Now let's get into the situation with my parents. I will be up front and say that my parents are really strict and never allowed my sister and I to go out and hang out with friends. But one night, after work, the guy in my life and I went outside and spoke for a few minutes. I didn't think it was a big deal to speak to him for a few minutes, considering we could never see each other outside of work because I was never allowed out. So we spoke for 20 minutes or so and I told him I had to leave to get home. He walked me to my car and before I got into my car to leave, he and I kissed goodbye. Well, I got into my car about to leave when the guy I kissed told me that I would be in trouble. I look to the right to see my dad walking up to my car. But this time I knew I was in trouble. My dad poked his head in the window and told me that it was best if I came home. So I did what I was told and went home with him behind me. When I got home, my mom was already thoroughly involved and knew what was going on. My parents freaked out. Let's just say that my parents told me that I could no longer see him and that I was to quit my job.

 

So I put in my two week notice, and I stopped speaking to the guy in my life for a while. Until my very last day at work, the guy spoke to me and told me that he deeply cared for me and did not want to lose me. He told me that he was hurt that I was going through all of this and didn't exactly know how to help. So after I left, we started to speak again. Both of us wanted to keep in contact. And as weeks went on, the guy in my life started to get frustrated at the fact that I could never see him and that I was restricted to when I speak to him. At this point, I had left for college and lived in my apartment comfortably, where he actually drove two hours to come and see me. One weekend, I went back home, and the guy and I were arguing over I don't even know what. But I guess I got too loud and my dad heard that I was on the phone. So he told me to give my phone to him, while the guy was still on. When my dad ended the call, he started rummaging through my messages between the guy and I. And he read several messages where the guy would get attitudinal with me and start to cuss and get mad. And I always apologized because I just want to move on from the argument and be the bigger person. Boy, my dad did not like how I apologized all the time. So eventually my parents and I got into it and they told me that if I did not cut all communications with this guy that I would be pulled out of school, pulled from my apartment, stripped from my car, and never to come home again. They said that since I wanted to be with this guy so bad, I should just live with him and quit school and whatnot. And as I was crying, and surprised at what was coming out of my parents' mouths, I ended up abiding to their wants and told them that I would end all contact and leave him alone.

 

Now I have a sister, and this situation affects her too because she lives with me at the apartment. She's only a freshman in college, while I'm a junior. And if I am not allowed to come home, she cant either. If I do not have a car, she can't go home and see my parents. If I get pulled from school and the apartment, she would lose her mind and told me that she would do it with me. Now all the consequences are running through my mind, and I can not help but to think that this guy is the man I am supposed to be with. Yes, he has messed up several times, but he has recovered and showing massive improvement.

 

So, to wrap this up. I still talk to this guy today, and my parents don't know about it. Nor my sister. I adore this guy. And I know we would be great together. She treats me like a queen and does not talk down on me. He and I are not currently together for the simple fact that he does not want to hide the relationship if we are together. So he is actually gotten to the point where he tells me that I have to stand up for myself and follow my heart. Mind you, I have never stood up to my parents. I am 20 years old and I have always abided by their rules. I have been on the right path. I do not smoke. I have never had an alcoholic beverage. I have never gotten pulled over by the cops. I am working on my BA in Political Science and striving to become a lawyer. But I have to make a choice.. Do I stand up to my parents and lose everything (education opportunity, car, apartment, family) and be with this guy I know in my heart is the right guy for me?? Or do I once again, abide by my parents' rules and lose this guy and be unhappy and potentially regret it for the rest of my life?? Please. I need help. I am so lost, and I can't take it anymore. I really need help. From anyone. Please.

[Germany_Baby]

I could use any advice. Please, somebody help me.