stat Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I've been reading posts from this side of the forum for a while, but finally got the courage to post about what I've been experiencing. Well I've basically been in a long distance relationship for almoszt 2 years. We met and dated whilst he was on an exchange program and we decided to stay together despite the distance. We were a very positive couple in the early stages of our ldr, communicating often (skyping, whatsapping, you name it!) and it really encouraged me to persevere, and even to visit him, which I did for more than a month during my school vacation a year ago! However since coming back, I would ask him to go on skype and he would tell me he didnt have connectivity or time. However even during his vacations he wouldn't want to skype stating that its inconvenient at his parents' place, we even go days without talking and I hurt so much inside but I don't want to seem like the possessive girl that keeps texting and texting desperately with no restraint. And as of now, it's been a year since all that load of crap begun (yes I haven't heard his voice in a year) and I'm growing to tired of asking him to "participate" in this relationship. He has stopped being my confidant as I feel he's never around. We both really love each other, I know he doesn't want to leave me and the chemistry is undeniable when we are physically together but I don't know what to do about our situation. Every time I bring up the lack of attention I feel, we get into an argument so now I just don't talk about it anymore, and I text him and wait for his damn slow replies ... but the little times that we do text (maybe 2-3 days a week), he does reassure me of his love. I feel shortchanged, and so confused, like the devotion I am willing to give up is not reciprocated and I've been waiting a year for things to turn around. But is this love worth giving up on? What would you guys recommend I do?
petall Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Sounds to me like he's already checked out. How can you not speak for a year?!! If he truly views you as his girlfriend, you would be in constant contact despite the distance. He would also not get angry but try to be understanding and listen to you saying you are feeling neglected if he truly cares about keeping you happy. You only met him when he was a student in an exchange programme. My guess is he's back home now, has his regular friends, living his old life, and perhaps has someone new. You are a part of his time away and maybe he doesn't have the heart to break up with you so is giving you the sloppy treatment in hopes you will both back away eventually. Don't waste more time going through this painful treatment. Insist on a conversation and make your views known. I think it's clearly over. Sorry but I can't comprehend how not speaking for a year means anything but he's no longer invested in your relationship. 2
emi Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 its over hun. Hes checking out, but got no balls to call it off. Do him and you a favor, break up with him before he dump you 2
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I've been reading posts from this side of the forum for a while, but finally got the courage to post about what I've been experiencing. Well I've basically been in a long distance relationship for almoszt 2 years. We met and dated whilst he was on an exchange program and we decided to stay together despite the distance. We were a very positive couple in the early stages of our ldr, communicating often (skyping, whatsapping, you name it!) and it really encouraged me to persevere, and even to visit him, which I did for more than a month during my school vacation a year ago! However since coming back, I would ask him to go on skype and he would tell me he didnt have connectivity or time. However even during his vacations he wouldn't want to skype stating that its inconvenient at his parents' place, we even go days without talking and I hurt so much inside but I don't want to seem like the possessive girl that keeps texting and texting desperately with no restraint. And as of now, it's been a year since all that load of crap begun (yes I haven't heard his voice in a year) and I'm growing to tired of asking him to "participate" in this relationship. He has stopped being my confidant as I feel he's never around. We both really love each other, I know he doesn't want to leave me and the chemistry is undeniable when we are physically together but I don't know what to do about our situation. Every time I bring up the lack of attention I feel, we get into an argument so now I just don't talk about it anymore, and I text him and wait for his damn slow replies ... but the little times that we do text (maybe 2-3 days a week), he does reassure me of his love. I feel shortchanged, and so confused, like the devotion I am willing to give up is not reciprocated and I've been waiting a year for things to turn around. But is this love worth giving up on? What would you guys recommend I do? You ask if this love is worth giving up...what love would that be, exactly? Sorry to say, OP, but his actions don't back up his words whatsoever. He has checked out of your relationship in a major way and you're hanging on to less than crumbs. Any guy who REALLY loves you and actually wants to stay with you WILL find time to talk to at least ONCE IN A WHOLE YEAR. Do you see how ridiculous this sounds? It isn't a relationship. It's you chasing him while he gives you almost nothing in return. Time to take the blinders off. He isn't into it anymore. 2
Author stat Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Hey guys, thank you so much for your replies. I never really spoke to anyone about this relationship because I found it pointless to complain to people who didnt understand... but voicing it out now I finally feel like I wasn't just overthinking things, and yeah perhaps I deserve more if he truly "loves" me. I am so sad, but thankful for your replies and your time. *sob*
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