Ansem Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Wondering whether I should send her a happy birthday text. Personally I don't want to but at the same time I don't wanna disrespect her seeing as how she sent me one on my birthday. NC for about a month and 1/2 apart from the birthday wish and random bump in.
clementyne Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Was your ex the dumper or dumpee? Cause mine was the dumper and he wished me, but not sure if that means I'm obligated to wish him back? I'm kinda confused about the "rules" regarding birthdays.
justlooking463 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I don't really know your situation, but i say no!! I actually just went through something like this, Mt ex left me a month before her bday, we had little contact for a few weeks, then i went nc, then her bday came and i really wanted to text and say happy bday, but i didn't. It was really hard not to i fought it about 10 times that day. But I'm glad i didn't, i found out that she was with her new bf and his family and hers forthe day, would hidiotave made me look like an idiot. So i say don't do it! Its hard but you'll behappy with yourself if you don't. 1
clementyne Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I don't really know your situation, but i say no!! I actually just went through something like this, Mt ex left me a month before her bday, we had little contact for a few weeks, then i went nc, then her bday came and i really wanted to text and say happy bday, but i didn't. It was really hard not to i fought it about 10 times that day. But I'm glad i didn't, i found out that she was with her new bf and his family and hers forthe day, would hidiotave made me look like an idiot. So i say don't do it! Its hard but you'll behappy with yourself if you don't. That's the thing...don't wanna look like a fool. What if he's enjoying with someone else? Besides that, I don't wanna give him an ego boost thinking that I still care and remember even after he hurt me. Just that there's a small niggly feeling inside which won't go away. And it confuses me....
Author Ansem Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Was your ex the dumper or dumpee? Cause mine was the dumper and he wished me, but not sure if that means I'm obligated to wish him back? I'm kinda confused about the "rules" regarding birthdays. I was the dumpee, we shall both make a pact to not wish our exs a happy birthday. 1
justlooking463 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 That's all you will be doing, is giving them an ego boost, especially if you have been nc and then you send them a birthday wish. It shows that you are still thinking about them and then all your hard work to keep the nc going, doesn't do anything for you. While they now you are still thinking about them. 1
clementyne Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I was the dumpee, we shall both make a pact to not wish our exs a happy birthday. Same here, and yup, we need to make a pact before we end up doing something we regret! lol
clementyne Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 That's all you will be doing, is giving them an ego boost, especially if you have been nc and then you send them a birthday wish. It shows that you are still thinking about them and then all your hard work to keep the nc going, doesn't do anything for you. While they now you are still thinking about them. Thanks, needed to hear that! Keep saying I won't, but the next minute I change my mind again, lol. Just gotta stay strong and fight that urge. Don't wanna break NC which I've worked so hard to maintain. Cause if he ignores me or says something to upset me, then I'm gonna be back to square one again. Besides that, I want him to know the feeling of not getting a birthday wish from me, when I always used to be the first. I want him to remember me for just a second, when he looks at his phone and there's no call or text from me. He probably won't, but it comforts me to think that he will, lol. 1
justlooking463 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I know how hard it is, believe me, i was doing the same thing u are doing, kept saying i wouldn't then i would be like yeah maybe i should. But i fought it. It was really damn hard but I'm def. Glad i fought the urge and didn't, especially after i found out she was with her new man the whole day and probably wouldn't have responded anyway. I know what u guys are going thru. Its hard, but keep yourself busy so u don't contact them. Don't give then the satisfaction of knowing u are still thinking about them. It does nothing for u and just gives them an unneeded ego boost. Good luck and stay strong! 1
clementyne Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) Well it was quite hard at first, not knowing what to do...but recently the urge has gotten weaker (partly due to discovering some things which really hurt me), and now I feel like he doesn't deserve me even thinking about wishing him, let alone actually doing it. I don't wanna betray myself, like he betrayed me. So there will be no birthday wish from my end. It's my promise to myself and my birthday gift to him. Edited September 29, 2013 by clementyne 1
organizedchaos Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I'm in the same boat. BU 2 months ago after nearly 3 years, with LC up until 2 weeks ago when I finally went NC. I'm the dumpee. Her bday is in two weeks and have been wondering whether to send her a text. Last year I went all out and decorated part of a bar for her bday party and gave her diamond necklace from Tiffany's. She still has all those photos up on fb (I'm tagged in them and they're still on my profile). I think getting nothing from me this year will send a very strong message and reminder of what she walked away from. 1
JDPT Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Doesn't matter if she sent you a message on your birthday. You are now taking charge of your life by not sending her anything. You are no longer in the position to wish her anything, you two are broken up. 3
all_cats_rgray Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Don't, that simple. In reality a text that say; "Happy Birthday" = " I'm thinking about us" Nothing is sincere about it. Nothing about it is about "Happy Birthday". It's all secret meanings of bull****. It's all games. And your real wish is he will text back. "Im a idiot lets get back together." He doesn't need a reminder of how kind and amazing you where to him. HE SHOULD all ready know that. AND if he can't see that he's a ****ing idiot. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Crap. My ex's b-day is this Thurs and I was set on breaking NC to wish him a simple happy b-day. We've been Bu for 2 months and it's been 6 weeks NC. He's the dumper. I don't want him back and I don't hate him. I've accepted that we just weren't right together and he was the brave one to break it off. After reading this thread I'm now rethinking whether or not to send the message. Damn it.
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