librooks Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Last night my b/f asked me what I was doing that night. I said, "I may go into Philly with some friends." He said I was playing games and being evasive because I didn't tell him where I was going and with whom. My friend who called didn't even know where we were going, she asked me to call her so we could firm up some plans. And he's only met her once, doesn't even know who she is. I didn't think to add more detail. I've never cheated on him, but he was hurt badly by his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend so I think he's taking it out on me. BTW, this is the same guy I've mentioned in my "Morning Molestation" post. I think he was still angry about the fact that I "rejected" his 5:30am advances. Does it seem like I was being evasive by telling him "I may go into Philly with some friends" and not giving him the names of those friends?
indigo_moon Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 How could you give more information than you even had or knew? So he's been hurt by an ex wife and ex g/f. That's unfortunate but it sounds, from your 2 posts (this and the "morning molestation" post) that he's got issues of insecurity and difficulty trusting. Sounds like he's pushy with sex in the morning because he feels that if you give him sex when he wants it, that means you love him and he's lovable - whereas, when you turn him down (as is your right to do at freaking 5:30am), it's a big blow to his fragile ego and sense of being a man. It's possible, too, that his imagination is getting the best of him and he's worried that because you won't roll over and have sex with him in the morning, that you're not as interested in him and might have someone else - and your response about going to Philly, which didn't include any concrete details, it's all leading him to be insecure. Do you really need a guy with insecurity issues? If you've never cheated on him and have never given him any reason to mistrust you, he's out of line - but you have to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in. How is your communication with each other? How is your relationship otherwise? Do you both live together?
alphamale Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Originally posted by librooks Does it seem like I was being evasive by telling him "I may go into Philly with some friends" and not giving him the names of those friends? REverse the situation. What would YOU thing if he said to you "I may go into Philly with some friends" and then did not give you any further detail? Would you feel he was being evasive?
Author librooks Posted November 28, 2004 Author Posted November 28, 2004 Response to Indigo_Moon: Communication in general is not very good. He shuts down. When he does share his feelings, he yells and curses. Otherwise, he gets quiet and refuses to talk. It's very frustrating. Response to AlphaMale: I wouldn't feel that he was being evasive if he told me the same thing. I might ask him where he was going, or with whom. But it would be a simple question, not accusatory. If he refused to tell me, THEN I'd feel he was being evasive. When he finally did ask me, it was after lots of anger and yelling, and then he said, "So, who are you REALLY going out with tonight?", adding that I do have a lot of male friends (I only have 1 male friend and I haven't spoken to him for months; he was peeved that we ran into a guy the night before that I dated for a few weeks).
Recommended Posts