Whole relationship a shambles

[Bubberfly]

Sorry, this is more of a rant than anything else.

 

I posted on here a while ago about my fiance of 6 years and his wanting to move his sister in.

 

Our whole relationship has unraveled in the span of three weeks. All the work we've done to keep ourselves a loving happy couple has gone to **** to say the least.

 

I lost my engagement ring. I feel horrible for this. I'm usually so mindful

Of things. I lost it somewhere in the house, I've torn the place apart, and all this time all he does is get mad at me (understandable but it was an accident). I'm getting stressed out and so I ask him if he can help me look for it, he tells me "he doesn't know where to look,". And leaves and goes to a bar.

 

I've been insanely stressed out at work since there's been so many new changes, people keep talking about lay offs. I work with very verbally abusive people in a call center, and since we have all these new changes, customers have been getting more and more upset with the process, as well as more verbally abusive. My fiance keeps telling me that my job isn't that bad, it must be "nice to work in an office talking to people all day on the phone." He belittles my work constantly and tells me I have a cushy job and I have nothing to complain about.

 

Every night now he leaves and doesn't come home until midnight then wakes me up, reeking of booze. He doesn't ask to sleep with me, he just starts going, nevermind the fact that I'm mad at him, he's drunk, I have to get up in 4 hours to start work.

 

His sister is moving in in two weeks and I'm miserable about this. I've been packing as much stuff as I can so i can put it in one room and put a lock on it (so she won't steal from me, or break all my stuff) and he won't help me. I keep asking him for help and he keeps telling me we have plenty of time to take care of it.

 

I asked him if we could walk away from our offer on a house (we put an offer on our own house a month ago and are still waiting for it to go through escrow). If we walk away we would lose our deposit on it. I desperately need that money right now to move out, and he's told me that if I walk away from this house he'll sue me for his part of the down payment that we'd lose.

 

I told him that I want to work things out. He says he does too but every time he initiates a serious "relationship" conversation and I start telling him how I feel, he tunes me out and play video games. I have no one to voice my concerns with.

 

I feel trapped. I have no help with moving, I've asked my friends and family if I could stay with them for a little bit but they aren't able/willing to help. I have a lot of large family heirlooms (I.e., piano, dining room table, large poster bed) that my family would MURDER me for if I got rid of, but right now with my budget I can't afford a storage unit to put them in (nor do I have anyone who's willing to help me move them. I can't do it by myself and my fiance has completely checked out).

 

I have two dogs that are my babies and I love them more than anything, finding them a new home would be a last resort. Unfortunately, most rentals here don't accept two dogs (they're pugs, so small). They only accept one, and pet deposits are brutal. They don't have small-term rentals either.

 

I've tried asking my fiance if he still loves me, if he still wants to be with me. He tells me "yes, and no" but fails to elaborate.

I know it's naive but I keep thinking if I find my engagement ring everything will go back to normal, that situation seemed to be what set all this off.

We've been through far worse than this. I just can't understand why we fell apart so quickly these last three weeks.

 

I just feel like I'm running into a brick wall, mentally, emotionally, financially.

I feel like I have no one to turn to and I'm about to lose everything.

I'm sorry for this ramble, I just had to get it off my chest.

[heartshaped]

I remember your previous thread about the sister moving in. I said it then and I'll say it again, he has no respect for you. None. Zilch. Nada. All of his actions scream that.

 

I would leave by any means necessary. If your family doesn't want to help you move or cannot, I would tell them that sadly then you'll have to get rid of those family heirlooms unless someone else can take them for the time being. I'd also see if you can't find a temporary home for your dogs or permanent if necessary. The offer on the house needs to be cancelled. You know deep down that you cannot go forward with this man.

 

This relationship is only regressing. You need out like yesterday.

[smoky eyes]

When you find that engagement ring, make sure you sell it and use the money to sort yourself out!

[Daisy7]

don't marry this guy even if you find the ring, try to get your things in order and get away from this guy he does not seem to care about your concerns/feelings. Do whats best for you and walk away.