Awarth Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 hey folks, my ex-gf sent me a msg last night..she ask me how was i and i answer saying i am fine..that she start telling me that she is unhappy of her current life..she apparently had a bad job and relationship. i just tell her "things will bound to be better.."... then she tell me "i wonder will i be better off if i had stick with you instead.." i reply her "haha, i don't know..stop thinking so much.." then she have not been replying ever since.. we are together for 5 and half years, and it had been almost 2 years since she left me for her current bf..we are both 24 now.. so i wonder, is she finally starting to feel some regret and want to reach out to me? or is she just using me as an emotional tampon cause she is having a bad day? any insights anyone? thks!
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 You sound like an incredibly sweet guy. I wish I could tell you that she had genuine regret and was planning on overhauling her life. I highly doubt that she would now, if she hadn't already. I am sorry. I wish it weren't the case, but I think that perhaps you got used as an emotional tampon. My own recommendation would be to re-institute NC and find someone who values you and truly understands your worth. 1
Author Awarth Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 thanks Anyanova! i think i know the answer to my question deep down...just need someone to validate it..haha..funny thing is..if this happens 1 yr ago, i will be very upset..but right now...kinda feeling neutral about it.. 1
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 The thing is, even on the off chance that she isn't, that she genuinely is unhappy, regretful, and considering coming back, the likelihood, is that a) the problem is within herself. She will still bring herself and her problems with her into the relationship retread. b) Clearly, when she gets unhappy with her life, she does not stick it out, she ditches both people and situations. c) the likelihood that she would in a relationship retread get unhappy and ditch you again is very high. Either option does not look good. But I think that probably she was just using you for an emotional quickie. But congratulations on feeling neutral. That is a huge step. 1
Stealth3 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 You did well, but you got used as a doormat..... She dumped you, so stop being this nice guy that comforts her with words....remember she dumped you. Whe she says something like "i wonder will i be better off if i had stick with you instead..", you reply with "heck yeah it would have been better or you bet it would have been better. She texted you because she wanted a doormat and you gave her the answers she wanted to hear. Oh no, its ok, things will be better. You are thinking too much.... Of course she ignores you after that, because you made her feel better so she doesn't need to talk to you anymore. Either you ignore her or you give her a cocky answer that she wouldn't expect. You tell her what she wants to hear and she will just use you then ignore you. So either NC or put her in her place. 1
Chi townD Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 You got a text from her on a Saturday night. Could have been a drunk text. Well, maybe not drunk, but enough to make her feel brave enough to send that.
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