librooks Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 My b/f of 5 months wakes up at 5:30am. I'm not a morning person, and I get up much later. He's horny in the morning, so he slides his hands under my pj's and starts feeling me up, grabbing my butt, licking my boobs, and "grinding" me, while I'm still half asleep! I've asked him nicely several times to stop doing this. I think it's rude, crude, and disrespectful if it's clearly not mutual. He says, "Excuse me for wanting to get close to you!" and that I'm being cold and pushing him away, even though we continue to cuddle. Then he's cold or argumentative for the rest of the day. I think he should respect my feelings about this and stop getting angry just because he can't get what he wants. Am I being cold by not allowing him to molest me in the morning? I've tried every way possible to let him know how much this bothers me, but he doesn't want to hear it. What can I do? I'd like to hear from guys as well. My b/f thinks "all women are crazy" so he won't value replies from women!
Merin Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Well.. you know I've got to say that IF he doesn't value thoughts and opinions of Women.. then you've probably already answered your own question as to why he continues with this behaviour when you've asked him not to.. I don't give a crap how long you've been together.. IF your partner tells you straight up that they DON'T like or appreciate something you're doing.. then for God Sake STOP doing it.
SoleMate Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Are you seriously asking men to respond to a survey on "Whether it is OK to 'molest' your girlfreind at 5:30 am"??? Like the opinions of some strangers would have ANY relevance to this? Merin is right...if you say STOP, he should stop. And then when you're both awake and calm, you can talk honestly, with both of you listening without criticizing, and reach a compromise that leaves you feeling respected and unmolested, while he feels cared for and appreciated (and maybe even gets his predawn fun). But if you know for sure that female opinions are worthless in his eyes...what does that say about his feelings for you? This is not Saudi Arabia circa 1200 AD, this is the developed and industrialized world in 2004, and women DO have choices! You've only been "together" (I use the term loosely) for 5 months, so it's not too late to realize you landed a non-keeper, and throw him back. Gaffing optional.
heckno Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Originally posted by Merin I don't give a crap how long you've been together.. IF your partner tells you straight up that they DON'T like or appreciate something you're doing.. then for God Sake STOP doing it. Amen
distorted Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate Are you seriously asking men to respond to a survey on "Whether it is OK to 'molest' your girlfreind at 5:30 am"??? no other comment
Patiently waiting Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Awww, I LOVE being woken up for sex no matter what time it is!!! I especially love it in the morning cause it gets those endorphins going and keeps me on a a "high" for the rest of the day. Kinda like exercising does! But, if you REALLY don't like it, he should respect your wishes. But, let us not forget, he is a guy, he's gonna always at least try to give it a shot.....and they always wake up with a hard on anyway! I think it's affectionately known as "morning wood" hee, hee! If you truly don't like it, you may want to just find a new guy, cuz seriously, it's gonna wind up becoming an issue for him at some point, just like it already has become one for you....... P.S. you know he's gonna have to wind up masturbating in the shower if you deprive him, why let him waste a good hard-on on his hand when you could be getting the benefit! Ahh, but then again......I do love to F-ck!!!
guest74 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 A lot of people, myself included, love to "F-ck", as you say, but that doesn't mean that you should give in. Let's say you were violently ill and throwing up. Would you still want to "F-ck"? Let's say you had a sick child on your hands and didn't sleep all night and were absolutely exhausted and had to get to work in an hour or two? How much you like sex isn't the issue. For some people, being woken up earlier than their body should be isn't an ideal situation.
shadis Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I do not buy that whole "I am not a morning person" thing. You can train yourself to be a morning person. If this happens repeatedly, you might think about sleeping in another room to avoid the sleepy-feely dealie. If you come back to the same bed, and this still happens, find another guy.
blind_otter Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I AM a morning person and I still don't like having sex at 5:30am. I am all chipper by about 6:30am, but before that I am in a good mood but not really looking for calasthenics. That said, this issue is about your BF not respecting your wishes. I've been prodded in the back before, said heck no, and it wasn't an issue because I still made sure that we had sex later in the day. Do you have sex regularly? I have been sexually assaulted, so if a guy "molests" me I can have flashbacks and other nasty stuff that lasts literally for days after the incident. I don't think it's natural, or healthy, for the guy to totally ignore the wishes of his partner just for sexual gratification. What, does he hit you over the head and drag you into his cave by the hair, as well? Yucky.
daphne Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 I'm definitely a morning person but damn, 5:30 AM? Who can orgasm at 5:30 AM with their eyes shut?
Amethyst Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 If he refuses to stop when you tell him to, then you need to ask yourself why you are dating a man who has absolutely no respect for you and is willing to sexually assault you just so he can satisfy his own cravings.
stormywind Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Sorry but a guy who has sex with you while you're still asleep (and I've had that happen) is only out for himself. Lose him because his lack of respect for you will come out even more over time.
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