thewrongonee Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Hello loveshack, I have a huge problem in my life with this special girl that i see my self moving forward with in life. We officially started dating close to two months ago, it was slow at first then it starting picking up pace in terms of getting physical and starting daily routines with each other. We both like each other, its pretty clear now. We even have silly talks about the future (Ie: whos going to cook, etc) small stuff, but for me it shows were actually moving forward. Yesterday, however, we made out for a long time and got a bit more physical, not like before. She did enjoy it, i can tell and she even said, but she felt guilty and said she still has emotions for her ex. They were in a 7 year long term relationship, and she told me shes ready to move on but after yesterday she felt guilty. Today she called me saying i dont want to be in a relationship, and wants to be "friends". I told her that i cannot be friends, and thts that. She and I talked and both agreed that we cannot be friends ( not after yesterday ), and she still likes me. She said that we are moving too fast and we need to slow down, and i agreed. |she said we should kiss and makeout but tone the physical contact. She needs time to move on, thats what she keeps telling me and i understand. ( she said shes not the type of girl that jumps for one relationship to other, she only had 1 bf ever in her life) I am just lost at the part she says, what if shes never ready? what if shes never going to move on and still have feeling for her ex, who she broke up with. Am I just a lost cause, or just give it time, and see how things pan out? I did let her know that moving on is not easy, it takes time and ill be there for her. Should I move on and tell her that I cannot keep putting my self through this rollercoaster of emotions, or give it time and be there for her? Either way, i am in over my head.
Author thewrongonee Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 It will be hard, but shes really confusing, we move forward and something like this brings us back to begging. Additonally, should i give us space? tell her ill contact her when im ready because i need to figure things out my self?
KatZee Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 If she needs time to figure out her emotions, fine. You just need to remove yourself while she does this. There is no "lets make out and stuff." If she has residual feelings from her past relationship she needs to be alone and not using you as the emotional crutch. I'd back off like 75%. I wouldn't be hooking up with her. I would also date other girls. There is no guarantee she'll be over the ex, there's no guarantee she'll want to be with YOU once she's over her issues.
Author thewrongonee Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 If she needs time to figure out her emotions, fine. You just need to remove yourself while she does this. There is no "lets make out and stuff." If she has residual feelings from her past relationship she needs to be alone and not using you as the emotional crutch. I'd back off like 75%. I wouldn't be hooking up with her. I would also date other girls. There is no guarantee she'll be over the ex, there's no guarantee she'll want to be with YOU once she's over her issues. What do i do when she wants to hangout or meet up? The reason why this happend was she came over to my house and we went to my room and starting making out and then got alittle physical ( made her moan ) and it went on for a while. This was a huge step, we went from making out to that, she wasent ready for that. But i get you, should I call her tonight and tell her that I need space while she figures her situation out? i told her id be there for her when ever she needed me.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I think it's fine to tell her that you need space, too. I can speak from experience that someone who is not really over an ex will put you on an emotional roller coaster and it never really ends well. Don't hook up with her, make out, kiss, whatever. She clearly isn't ready and it's going to hurt even worse when you develop even more feelings that she can't reciprocate.
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