Drewx2 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) We had been on a few really good dates (IMO) and It was pretty clear that she liked me. Then all of the sudden she went cold. One weekend I was trying to get her to come over for drinks and she responded with “you always want to hang out but you act like you’re not interested.” I told her I was interested but that she seemed to be moving away. She told me she moves away from people when she feels she can’t open up to them. I went to talk to her in person and told her how much liked her and that I was moving slow because I was shy. The next day she sent me a text and told me that she thought I was attractive but that she only wanted to be friends. A couple weeks after this I tried to open up to her but I think that might of made it worse…probably made me sound a little oversensitive. A few days ago, after very little communication for a few months, I decided to give it one last shot. I tried to be a little more foreword, I sent her this text “I don’t know why I kept messing around when I had you with me… you know I want you. When can I see you again? :)" She gave me the “I don’t want to pursue anything” treatment that I've already heard once before. (I live an hour away so texting is the only real option If I want to talk to her now) We haven’t seen each other since May but I can’t let it go. I've tried everything. She liked me, I liked her. It’s driving me crazy, “you act like you’re not interested” clearly suggests that she was down for me. I know she probably felt rejected by my lack of initiative, but I thought I played my cards right and cleaned it up fairly well. Why couldn't I pick it back up? She’s the only girl I've ever taken seriously. *she moves back home (pretty far away) after this school year. Could that have something to do with it? I wouldn't think so..but It has come across my mind. I know the only way to get over it is to find another girl, but I’m back in my parents’ house & it could take a while. Edited September 28, 2013 by Drewx2
Intents Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 It's not clear to me from reading this that she ever legitimately liked you in a romantic way. Her comment about you not acting interested was totally unnecessary because you were clearly expressing your interest. It thus sounds like a bs excuse. Drop it and forget about her as best you can. If she decides she's interested, she'll contact you. Btw, she sounds immature.
joeLove Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Tough one ... has happened to me before and it took me a while to get over it. It really depends on the personality of the girl. She might have liked you at some point, but she now believes she can get better. And you can't convince her otherwise. You can't convince her, she has to come to that realization herself. The best way to deal with this is to move on. I understand that you think you can win her back. And I understand that you admit to have made a "mistake". If it's been 6 months since you last saw her, I suggest you move on. Don't close the door completely, but don't obsess yourself with her. That might ruin your life. You might miss on other opportunities while you wait for someone to make up their mind. You have asked. She said NO. You insist, she said NO. Move on. And don't look back. There are better women out there for you.
todreaminblue Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 One weekend I was trying to get her to come over for drinks and she responded with “you always want to hang out but you act like you’re not interested.” I told her I was interested but that she seemed to be moving away. She told me she moves away from people when she feels she can’t open up to them. look if a guy asks me to hang out often....you know they like you and they are interested....i have dated shy guys....... then she says she cant open up to you ...if i were to say that to a guy it would be a precursor for me opening up because if i said that to a guy i would be wanting to open up and i would put it like this hey i really want to open up to you but for some reason i feel i cant can i trust you do you really want to know..i ahev these vibes you are not really itnerested......and then i drive the guy completely insane by going are you sure its not too much...you can tell me .....just say the word ill stop..... till they strangle me...kidding....maybe not.....lol ....teh truth is i rarely open up to guys and no one guy knows everything about me apart from grandfather......she isnt trying to open up...if she wanted to she woudl have tried to tell you that...trust me....... she is looking for excuses.......a way out....... because she hasnt made any attempt to let you know beforehand of what she wants....to me that means she isnt interested in you knowing what she thinks or feels.....i am like this with guy friends./.......i dont want them to know intimate feelings i have......i steer conversations away from em and what i like or dont like...i would say she is looking for an out and using you as the excuse......sorry ...best wishes...debn
HorseLuck Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Maybe she's emotionally unavailable. Has hang ups about getting closer to you and people in general. Once they distance for whatever reason, it's hard to get them to open back up. I'm not sure if you came across in any way as not being interested. Sounds like she had her own issues lurking behind that answer.
cif Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Since May?? She replied to your text telling you she's not interested. Drop it. And yes dating around can help. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 She could be dating someone else now. In any case, it's clear she isn't interested any more. You need to let this one go, OP. Don't torment yourself with the "why" and the "what if"...chalk this one up to experience and start seeing other girls.
Mascara Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 She was probably very interested, but things changed. Even if you started showing a lot more interest, it was probably too late. I'm like that - once I'm done with someone, I'm done. Even if they "fix" what put me off about them, I can't get interested again.
brittneyfoster Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 The thing about dating is that sometimes you find someone that you really like, but it may not be reciprocated. This is one of those times. Everything you've written suggests that you were interested, but everything you wrote about her clearly indicates that she wasn't. The best and only thing that you can do here is to cut your losses and move on.
Author Drewx2 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) It's not clear to me from reading this that she ever legitimately liked you in a romantic way. Her comment about you not acting interested was totally unnecessary because you were clearly expressing your interest. It thus sounds like a bs excuse. Drop it and forget about her as best you can. If she decides she's interested, she'll contact you. Btw, she sounds immature. If she ever tries to contact me she'll get a taste of her own medicine. I don't see it happening though. Edited September 30, 2013 by Drewx2
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