6 months + 200 girls + 35 numbers = no date

[Crjenkins]

I’ve spent the last 6 months at my university speaking with girls such as just going up to them and saying hello. We’d usually have a long casual conversation, some lasting up to a couple hours others 10-15 minutes. The ones that reject me quickly are the majority, which last a couple seconds.

 

Anyway, I’m sick and tired of it. I hear girls bitch and moan all the time about not being able to find a guy and here I’ve approached and talked to a well amount of them that are single to only get instantly friend zoned when I ask to go get lunch or meet up at the campus, or I get ignored entirely after asking to get lunch or meet up at the campus. Even after texting up to a week with them.

 

I don’t ask for phone numbers of girls that are clearly not interested. Most of these girls would respond quickly to my texts, so don’t act like you aren’t. Else you’re just a psychopathic attention hoarder.

 

So, what makes girls at a university so shallow? Is it because I’m not screwing you on the table in the library? Or am I not at a drunken party getting the courage to talk to you by getting buzzed? Or let me guess, am I missing a scene from Sex In The City? Or do you not have a mind of your own and allow your lonely friends steer you away from potential guys?

 

I seriously want to know because as far as I’m concerned, those 30 year old women are looking more and more enticing. Much more likely to be independent, mature, and sexy to say the least.

 

(Oh, and I’ve tried online dating too…so many cancellations I gave up.)

 

I’m not hideous, I take care of myself and goto the gym everyday. Senior right now going for my degree in Computer Science.

 

Edited September 29, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
remove urls to pictures

[MrCastle]

Cold approaching has a very low success rate.

 

I don't know if you go to a party school, but that plays a role in the sexual culture.

 

I go to a very small private school. No crazy parties on or off campus, and I have a pretty healthy social circle and from what I see, not a lot of sex is going on. Most people I meet are in LTRs, not hooking up like crazy like you see in the movies.

 

Because of this, the only way to have any kind of success where I go is to keep building your circle until you meet a single girl, or a girl who will introduce you to single friends.

 

You are a good looking guy so I don't think it's your looks at all. I can't speak to your personality or how you come across as I have nothing to go by. I would suggest building a social circle as opposed to cold approaching.

[Imajerk17]

First things first here....

 

Anyway, I’m sick and tired of it. I hear girls bitch and moan all the time about not being able to find a guy and here I’ve approached and talked to a well amount of them that are single to only get instantly friend zoned when I ask to go get lunch or meet up at the campus, or I get ignored entirely after asking to get lunch or meet up at the campus. Even after texting up to a week with them.

 

 

Whenever anyone of EITHER gender complains about how he/she can't find anyone to date, what that person really means is that they can't find someone *whom they are attracted to* to date. Including you here--I am assuming you are approaching the women you find cute am I right?

 

 

I seriously want to know because as far as I’m concerned, those 30 year old women are looking more and more enticing. Much more likely to be independent, mature, and sexy to say the least.

 

Sorry champ, but the 30-year-old women you speak of aren't going to want a college kid, especially a whiney college kid at that.

 

Anyway moving on, you actually gave us little information to help you. Relevant questions in the meanwhile include:

 

--Male/female ratio of your student body?

--Nearby colleges or whatever that would skew the effective male/female ratio? If your school's student body is 80% female but there is a military academy down the street that's going to affect things.

--How do the women in your class respond to you? If you are cold-approaching because the women in your social circle aren't into you, then it's not going to work.

--What do you and these girls talk about?

--How enthusiastically do they give you their number?

--What do you and the girls text back and forth about?

 

I will say this though: If you chat for 2 hours and all you have for a date idea is "lunch" that might be part of your problem.

Edited September 29, 2013 by Imajerk17

[Mrlonelyone]

In signature line links it explains that in college hanging out is the new dating.

 

So when those girls want to hang with you they are giving you a chance to be as much of a boyfriend as anyone is in college.

 

Stop expecting dating in your early 20's, in 2013 to be like dating years ago.

[CptSaveAho]

Learn "Game"

 

google college game...

[FitChick]

Because of this, the only way to have any kind of success where I go is to keep building your circle until you meet a single girl, or a girl who will introduce you to single friends. I would suggest building a social circle as opposed to cold approaching.

 

Yes. You are cute but we cannot see how you interact with women. Try to stay friends with women who reject you because THEY have friends, sisters, cousins, and one of these days, they will be with one who asks, "Can you introduce me to that cute guy?"

[Crjenkins]

I appreciate all of your responses.

 

Cold approaching has a very low success rate.

 

I don't know if you go to a party school, but that plays a role in the sexual culture.

 

I go to a very small private school. No crazy parties on or off campus, and I have a pretty healthy social circle and from what I see, not a lot of sex is going on. Most people I meet are in LTRs, not hooking up like crazy like you see in the movies.

 

Because of this, the only way to have any kind of success where I go is to keep building your circle until you meet a single girl, or a girl who will introduce you to single friends.

 

You are a good looking guy so I don't think it's your looks at all. I can't speak to your personality or how you come across as I have nothing to go by. I would suggest building a social circle as opposed to cold approaching.

 

Yes. You are cute but we cannot see how you interact with women. Try to stay friends with women who reject you because THEY have friends, sisters, cousins, and one of these days, they will be with one who asks, "Can you introduce me to that cute guy?"

 

I've heard this before from someone else. I'd be more than happy to build a social circle, but I'm on my last two semesters of school. I've spent all my college life in the books and the computer studying, so I never made the push to meet people until this year. Mostly because of my life changes too, such as my family and friends moving away. So, I'm just trying to meet people to fill in the gap.

 

 

Learn "Game"

 

google college game...

 

Oh, you mean PUA material? No, I have some self-confidence...

 

In signature line links it explains that in college hanging out is the new dating.

 

So when those girls want to hang with you they are giving you a chance to be as much of a boyfriend as anyone is in college.

 

Stop expecting dating in your early 20's, in 2013 to be like dating years ago.

 

I've realized this recently. I've never actually asked these girls for a date, they assume it when I ask to meet for coffee or hangout talking at the campus.

 

The last girl I spoke to this week I told her lets hang out after our classes today, since she lives in the dorms and I commute. She said yeah and text me. I don't have to tell you it was cancelled. She said it was because her roommate made plans with her, so she texted me back later and offered lunch. We'll see how it goes Monday, but I'm pretty sure it'll be cancelled too (I've been through this before).

 

I'm currently talking to another one that I told "Lets hangout" and she texted back when. So, what am I suppose to assume from this? She lives down the street from the school at her apartment. When I first met her at the end of our conversation she wanted to study with me. We aren't in the same classes and I just met her randomly walking in the hall. What's the code for "study"? Because I apparently have no ****ing idea what college talk means.

 

Lastly, I mostly approach girls that are nerdy or geeky, because I've always felt more attracted towards them than the most beautiful girl on campus. I've approached and talked to both, and it's night and day for me. I've just never been interested in getting drunk and partying even though I may consider it since my desperation is recently at an all time high. Although, my school is a very big commuter one and most of the people that do live in the dorms go back home on the weekends. And the occasional gangfights kinda left me with a bad taste in my mouth to adventure into that living area.

 

But, I really didn't realize college life was so warped into these social circles. I can understand for a highly party school with very little commuters and a big weekend life. You'd think a lot of the girls who are also commuters would be interested in meeting a guy at the school that isn't surrounded by the social scene there.

Edited September 29, 2013 by Crjenkins

[Atem]

bub, please...

 

1. relax - you're in college for ****'s sake - why do you even WANT a relationship now? College is like a candy store. Go munch on as many of them as you can get, gain experience, have some fun, and leave the serious stuff for when you grow up

 

2. girls in college nowadays are like dogs chasing cars in the middle of friggin' NYC. There are SO many guys around, so many ways of stimulation (not just sexual) - frat parties, clubs, sororities, etc. that they are constantly enticed by new stuff/people which reduces their attention span to almost zero (also, it makes tham what you call "shallow" because they always want the next best and/or next coolest thing)

 

3. SO, what should you do since that's the case? See and follow point 1. That said, if you really, really want a GF, then make the hell sure that you stand out of the horde of guys on campus. As someone already suggested, we have no idea how you behave around girls, how/what you text and whether you come across as strong or weak. All of these factors will influence your success with "hooking" a woman and then with keeping her.

 

From personal experience, I can tell you 2 things:

 

a. Just focusing on random fun in college is great. It reduces drama and emotional pressure and jsut lets you enjoy yourself. As one other guy already said, you're decent-looking, so picking up chicks won't be too hard for you UNLESS your game sucks (which it may, given your success rate to date) - so work onm it.

 

b. Finding good relationship material does NOT become easier as you get older. I'm 5 years outta college and almost 28 now. I live in a major US metro area and I have no problems finding a hot gal to hook up with. That said, people nowadays are very self-centered (which is not bad - i.e. they pursue their careers, grad school, etc.) and very easily distracted by the abundance of stimuli around (see the dog in NYC example above), so finding a so-called "keeper" - especially in a large metro area - is fairly tough.

 

Regardless, just stop putting pressure on yourself and just have fun. If you go in gunning for a relationship, you'll be disappointed 9.9 timex of 10. Just relax and it'll come naturally at some point.

[PogoStick]

I assume computer guy is good at statistics. I have no doubt if I walked up to 200 totally random women that I would walk away with multiple dates.

 

The common denominator and power of numbers says the OP is doing something the girls find unattractive. Other clues slip in, the bitter hateful attitude (at least 5 examples in just 2 posts), coldly dismissing PUA, not socializing the first few years of college, and that he never actually asked any of the girls out.

 

Time to stop blaming others and take a look at what he can change.

[FitChick]

Don't wear your shirts or underpants two days in a row. Wash them in between wearings. I remember in college there was a guy who always had a sour smell about him because he hated doing laundry.

[Crjenkins]

bub, please...

 

1. relax - you're in college for ****'s sake - why do you even WANT a relationship now? College is like a candy store. Go munch on as many of them as you can get, gain experience, have some fun, and leave the serious stuff for when you grow up

 

2. girls in college nowadays are like dogs chasing cars in the middle of friggin' NYC. There are SO many guys around, so many ways of stimulation (not just sexual) - frat parties, clubs, sororities, etc. that they are constantly enticed by new stuff/people which reduces their attention span to almost zero (also, it makes tham what you call "shallow" because they always want the next best and/or next coolest thing)

 

3. SO, what should you do since that's the case? See and follow point 1. That said, if you really, really want a GF, then make the hell sure that you stand out of the horde of guys on campus. As someone already suggested, we have no idea how you behave around girls, how/what you text and whether you come across as strong or weak. All of these factors will influence your success with "hooking" a woman and then with keeping her.

 

From personal experience, I can tell you 2 things:

 

a. Just focusing on random fun in college is great. It reduces drama and emotional pressure and jsut lets you enjoy yourself. As one other guy already said, you're decent-looking, so picking up chicks won't be too hard for you UNLESS your game sucks (which it may, given your success rate to date) - so work onm it.

 

b. Finding good relationship material does NOT become easier as you get older. I'm 5 years outta college and almost 28 now. I live in a major US metro area and I have no problems finding a hot gal to hook up with. That said, people nowadays are very self-centered (which is not bad - i.e. they pursue their careers, grad school, etc.) and very easily distracted by the abundance of stimuli around (see the dog in NYC example above), so finding a so-called "keeper" - especially in a large metro area - is fairly tough.

 

Regardless, just stop putting pressure on yourself and just have fun. If you go in gunning for a relationship, you'll be disappointed 9.9 timex of 10. Just relax and it'll come naturally at some point.

 

I get what you're saying, but I've never asked for a relationship and I'm assuming that's what everyone thinks when I say zero dates. I guess I took meeting up for coffee or hanging out at the campus as just something fun to do with her. I can only remember ever mentioning the word date to a single girl just to test things out. But, I'm expanding out to other ideas for fun such as trying out school events or watching a movie instead.

 

My "game" may not be the greatest for obvious reason but, there's only so much you can do in certain situations and timeframe that is unlike hitting a bar or party. Most of it is just flirting and the occasional touching, about all you could really try unless you get the chance to lead her. I do see myself needing to take more risks. It really doesn't need to be difficult to meet people else you're just making it a job.

Edited September 29, 2013 by Crjenkins

[hppr]

Sounds to me like you're trying to approach the idea of dating on a college campus like someone who is 35 would do it and that doesn't work. Most of those chicks are still kids, they want to play Xbox, smoke weed, go to so-and-so's party house, get hammered, whatever.

 

A girl who asks you to come study at her place is the college equivalent of a date if that makes sense.

 

Also cold approaching the 'nerdy' girls for a date is not a really good plan. Most of those girls are shy, virgins, and they won't know what to say if you ask them out. They may be flattered and attracted to you but they will automatically reject you because of their shyness and inexperience.

[Jbum5]

You are implementing cold approaches in a PUA-like way, but aren't catching any fish because this type of approach is often very awkward.

 

And the fact that you are doing this on a university campus makes it obvious that the low success rate will continue to be true for you since students in that age range tend to want to date someone who they have met and can relate to through a common experience - this can be a party, class, or other "normal" social contexts.

 

Being approached by a stranger is often intimidating enough, especially for women that age who are already conditioned to be on higher alert for creeps and perverts. In other words, if they didn't meet you through a normal social context (see above) then you are more likely nothing more than a random creep.

 

Best to stick within your social circle for better chances of success when in university.

[CptSaveAho]

 

Oh, you mean PUA material? No, I have some self-confidence...

 

 

Yup because "EVERYTHING" you have done so far has worked for you right

 

6 months 200 girls 35 numbers and how many dates?

 

O

 

Women love it, especially in college... its good practice too

 

Expand your horizons and live the college life

[joeLove]

Quick question: Do you have anything in common at all with the girls you want to hang out with?

Here are a few things to think about:

-Identify your hobbies or somethings you would like to learn/improve upon. i.e.: Running, Dancing(ballroom, salsa, ...etc), Biking, Languages, Movies,...

-Join some group(s), where people participate in these activities/hobbies.

-Get to know the ladies that way, gain their confidence and respect, ...

 

It is easier to make friends with people you have something in common with. Lots of women look for things like that to make them feel more comfortable.

Just meeting up people because both of you are single ... is something I have always found weird. But that's just me.

[Els]

IMO, there is always a tradeoff. Asking 200 girls out in 6 months sounds good on the surface, but how much time are you actually spending talking to each one before asking them out? All of 5 minutes?

 

It's kinda like trying to learn 10 new languages in 6 months rather than buckling down and focusing on 1 or 2. You stand lower chances of actually learning anything substantial. Jack of all trades, master of none.

 

I'm not implying you need to ask only 1-2 girls out, but 200 to me implies that you're solely doing cold approaches and have made zero effort to actually get to know women as people. Extremely unattractive. I'm not sure how the girls in your college react to that, but either way what you're doing isn't working.

 

Now, I'm sure I'm going to get a 'friendzone' yadda yadda response, somehow. In that case, I'll pre-emptively ask the responder - how is that mantra working for you?

[Joaquin]

Sounds like a hell of a lot of very low quality interactions.

 

If you haven't held the girl in conversation for an hour or so you are likely very forgettable.

 

Why not hold off on going for the number until youve given yourself a chance to make some kind of impression.

[white]

You joke and scorn, but it's very likely you would enjoy the company and have a better time with 30yo women. Young women, and men, are mostly very shallow even if they think they aren't ("I'm mature for my age"... if I had a penny for every time I heard an egotistical lass who wasn't even 20 say that, and they never are either) and all they appreciate or understand is shallowness. It will take them until their mid twenties at least, around the first time they pass up that new iPhone to make rent for the rest of the year or the first time they stay in at the weekend to work, or the first realisation they're going nowhere with a string of unavailable selfish partners, to get a clue. It may take longer. It may take an ill advised marriage and children followed by divorce for them to take their head out their ass, and even then it's 50/50 they'll go right on doing the same thing.

[runningfar]

I’ve spent the last 6 months at my university speaking with girls such as just going up to them and saying hello. We’d usually have a long casual conversation, some lasting up to a couple hours others 10-15 minutes. The ones that reject me quickly are the majority, which last a couple seconds.

 

Anyway, I’m sick and tired of it. I hear girls bitch and moan all the time about not being able to find a guy and here I’ve approached and talked to a well amount of them that are single to only get instantly friend zoned when I ask to go get lunch or meet up at the campus, or I get ignored entirely after asking to get lunch or meet up at the campus. Even after texting up to a week with them.

 

I don’t ask for phone numbers of girls that are clearly not interested. Most of these girls would respond quickly to my texts, so don’t act like you aren’t. Else you’re just a psychopathic attention hoarder.

 

So, what makes girls at a university so shallow? Is it because I’m not screwing you on the table in the library? Or am I not at a drunken party getting the courage to talk to you by getting buzzed? Or let me guess, am I missing a scene from Sex In The City? Or do you not have a mind of your own and allow your lonely friends steer you away from potential guys?

 

I seriously want to know because as far as I’m concerned, those 30 year old women are looking more and more enticing. Much more likely to be independent, mature, and sexy to say the least.

 

(Oh, and I’ve tried online dating too…so many cancellations I gave up.)

 

I’m not hideous, I take care of myself and goto the gym everyday. Senior right now going for my degree in Computer Science.

 

 

If I sense a guy was asking that many girls, I'd think he was desperate to have anybody and I'm not special at all and would be disgusted. Of course, I only date guys I'm friends with first. I've been approached by strangers a lot and it's not really a compliment.