Helloprincess Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Is currently on two dating web sites. We had a 5 years relationship, it ended 3 months ago. Haven't spoke to him since the brake up (no contact rule) Yesterday, i found out that he is on two dating web pages saying that he's looking for nothing serious and "adventures". He was the sweetest person in the world, he is good looking also. I do not understand why he is doing this. While ive been hurting all this still, and still am, how could he posibly be doing this? I am so naive, i don't understand how those online dating sites work. I need you guys to explain this, please. I've been crying and crying. How can he be looking for sex? This is really really hard.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Is currently on two dating web sites. We had a 5 years relationship, it ended 3 months ago. Haven't spoke to him since the brake up (no contact rule) Yesterday, i found out that he is on two dating web pages saying that he's looking for nothing serious and "adventures". He was the sweetest person in the world, he is good looking also. I do not understand why he is doing this. While ive been hurting all this still, and still am, how could he posibly be doing this? I am so naive, i don't understand how those online dating sites work. I need you guys to explain this, please. I've been crying and crying. How can he be looking for sex? This is really really hard. It shouldn't matter what he is doing. Knowing what he is doing will do you no good. Block him from those or anything else you can find from him. There are good looking people on dating sites too fyi...its not for uggos to talk to each other lol 1
stillafool Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 After 3 months he is going to start dating again. I think that time frame is okay to start dating after a break up. Surely you knew he was going to start dating sooner or later didn't you? 1
Tayla Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Maybe he is looking for a social life.....Sorry that you immediately jumped to the conclusion he is after "sex". Granted that sometimes follow suit when dating a while, Yet I do not "assume" that folks on dating sites are in it for one thing . He can do as he pleases, the relationship is over. He seems to be at a different point in healing then you....take your time..and when the fog lifts...you'll be clearer in your stance on how other adults can manage their own life. 1
Sparkle304 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I'm sorry that you're hurting It is a really challenging time for you. I suspect that he's on these dating sites to find sex. He's made it clear that he's not interested in a relationship. He wants sex....and some fun, that's it. He's probably hurting from the breakup as well. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Don't even start asking yourself why he's doing what he's doing. You'll start taking it personally. And this is not your fault! My ex of 5 years is dating (has a **** buddy). I went crazy for a while when I found out about it and then I said to myself how can I suffer so much when this selfish prick is already having fun with someone else? My ex was also super sweet and he's good looking, but it's none of my business what he does now. I won't let myself suffer while he's having fun. So first we need to heal ourselves, after that we will have fun in the future as well! If are exes are not healed they'll just suffer in the future while we are the ones having fun!! Force yourself to go out with your friends, 5 years is a long time, but things do get better 3
HoneyBunny2003 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Helloprincess: So sorry for what you are going through. It will get better. I have to ask though: How did you "find out" that your ex was on dating sites? I am assuming that you are not ready to be on dating sites yourself so this suggests that you've been getting or been given "intelligence" on your ex. Whatever you do, avoid any information about him at ALL costs. If friends and relatives like to tell you about him, ask them to please stop. Don't troll online for information about him because you will find it and it will hurt. I know it's hard but it's for your own good, really. As far as you should be concerned he is dead to you right now. That is the only way you will be able to move on and truly live. Stay strong. 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Look on the bright side, he hasn't met anyone yet and looks like he's struggling so he's gone to dating websites.
Author Helloprincess Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 One of my good friends asked me yesterday to come over. She was waiting for me with a bottle of wine (lol) ... She is on the same dating page as my ex is and she founded him. She told me that after all this time we've known eachother she didnt want to hide it from me. I needed this because now i know its over. Even if one day he comes back, i've made de decision that i would never go back to him. I'm feeling angry at the same time.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I think hanging onto hope can delay the healing process. Sounds like you're gonna go from sad to mad now. That might help you focus on the negative aspects of your ex and help you move forward. Sounds like you have a good friend there.
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