Robynhood Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 So i constantly keep posting about this guy that I am talking to. We met thru an OLD site and are somewhat of an LDR. We have met each other in person multiple of times. We are exclusive we have been talking via texts skype emails and since May. He hasn't made it official and it was bothering me so I gave myself two choices continue talking to him or just slowly ease myself away from him because we don't have a title and I don't want to get hurt. I chose the ease away option! I usually talk to him everyday via snap chat texts email facetime. We also have movie dates or dinner dates together twice a week. We didn't do that at all this week as I have been trying to ease away. He asked me if I was okay and I said yes I am fine. I don't think its lying to him because I am truly okay just trying to protect myself from I guess heartbreak. He knows this title thing is a big issue to me and said "he likes me he just doesn't want to rush things" Weeks ago we planned a trip to meet in another city and he just emailed me the itinerary. He also sent me a list of tons of things he wants to do and said "its going to be special compared to all the other trips" I don't know if hes going to ask me out in person but I feel like that could be the only thing. He never says anything like that when emailing trip details usually your standard by the book business email. I told him that I was going to a concert last night. And he sent me a text saying he was so jealous that he wishes he could be there with me and sing all the songs with me and hold my hand. I stopped responding because it made me a little sad because someone I really want to be with said these things but isn't here with me.(classic ldr symptoms) He kept texting me all night saying things like I miss you, wish I was there with you, it would be great if we were cuddling in bed together. I have been told on other threads I was being led on that I am most likely his rebound girl. That he is immature and isnt someone I need to be with. Run away as fast, that I am giving him relationship benefits for free. So down to the real questions. He told me he doesn't want to rush anything (we have been talking since May) and it has happened to him in most of all his past relationships and that girls just weren't the girls he thought they were. Should I just continue to pull away? Should I just go back to it being the way it used to be? Has anyone else been in this situation? Are these signs of me being a rebound girl? BTW when i met his room mates for the first time they said oh we have heard so many good things about you and (they aren't sugar coat type of people) He falls in love quickly be careful. So maybe he isn't trying to ruin this relationship like the past ones. He has already planned his NYE trip here and just recently asked me if I would like to travel abroad with him maybe around the time of my birthday! So it seems like hes invested and has plans for the future!
Mascara Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Sorry, what is the issue? What do you mean by "make it official"? If you're already exclusive, what else is there until a proposal?
Author Robynhood Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 I want him to be my boy friend! Its a title that I want and he knows.
Mascara Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Are you 12? He IS your boyfriend, it doesn't require a ceremony. Just call him your boyfriend and refer to yourself as his girlfriend. It doesn't need to involve being asked, like a marriage. It just involves being in a relationship.... which, if you're exclusive, you are. Honestly, you're thinking of walking away because of THAT? 1
Author Robynhood Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 No I am not 12. I am someone who is experiencing being in an LDR for the first time. Is that wrong of me to want to be his gf? And if its not such a big issue then why doesn't he call me his girlfriend why is he asking for patience and also saying I want to get to know you more?
Author Robynhood Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 Wait...what? You go on trips and dinner dates, keep in touch, have sex together and do basically what most couples do, and yet this guy wants to just consider it dating or more appropriately, a friends with benefits situation? In either case, how insulting. He wants all the benefits of a relationship but doesn't want to commit to calling it one. He sounds like HE'S the 12 year old. Thats why I am asking for opinions. Like should I stick around or asking has this ever happened to anyone if so what was the outcome? As for guys have you ever shown this particular behavior and made her your gf?
Mascara Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 You ARE his girlfriend. Honestly, talk about creating problems where there are none. If you're exclusive, what more is there to be classified as "girlfriend"? I suggest you start referring to yourself as his girlfriend, and if he objects tell him to grow a pair, because clearly you ARE his girlfriend. What part of your relationship is not exactly the same as being girlfriend/boyfriend? As I said - you don't need to be ASKED. It's like someone who is dating worrying about whether they are dating, because although they go out on dates they haven't actually been asked to officially start dating. Until you get engaged, there is nothing about a relationship that needs to be "official". You just ARE. I mean seriously, walk away from this if you want. Seems utterly pointless.
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