made the mistake of looking at my ex girlfriends facebook. messing me up.

[Jord]

you all know i've been having a really hard time with this break up.

 

anyways i've been missing my ex like crazy, and made the mistake at looking at her facebook. she deleted all of my pictures with her over the years. now i'm seeing pictures of her with different dudes, and her hanging out doing different things with one guy in particular. it made me upset and i called one of her friends to ask if she got with someone already. she replied "no, she doesn't have a new boyfriend." idk what to believe.

 

i'm i just going crazy, being insecure??

 

maybe its just a good friend??

 

i really need some advice.

[KatZee]

Block and delete.

 

You're broken up. It doesn't matter what pics she took down, it also doesn't matter what pics have gone up. She's living her life, you should be doing the same.

 

It also doesn't matter if she's dating other guys, or with one person specifically. She's single, she's going to do whatever she wants to do. Especially DON'T contact her friends. It makes you look creepy and sad. You do know that this friend went and told her you're stalking her stuff, right?

 

Get off the computer and go out with friends.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Ive made this mistake MANY times. Especially in the early going. Block it, delete facebook...WHATEVER you need to do. TRUST ME it gets NO easier for you.

 

Also, quit talking to her friend about anything. If it gets back to her that you guys talked (which it will they are girls they talk lol), then she will be furious at you. Dont need it so dont do it.

[Jord]

it's too late, i saw what she's doing. it doesn't matter if i blocked her, i'm so hurt by the mistake of looking at her profile.

 

 

should i even be worrying this much?!?! there's a picture of her at a baseball game with this guy, buts she's wearing a hat i bought her when we first started dating, everyone knows about that hat, its long story but she fell in love me with me when i bought it for her.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

it's too late, i saw what she's doing. it doesn't matter if i blocked her, i'm so hurt by the mistake of looking at her profile.

 

 

should i even be worrying this much?!?! there's a picture of her at a baseball game with this guy, buts she's wearing a hat i bought her when we first started dating, everyone knows about that hat, its long story but she fell in love me with me when i bought it for her.

 

You are overthinking this too much and hurting yourself with this self pain. You WILL look again and you WILL start making stories up just by seeing pictures. Its unnecessary and only causes more pain in the end. The fact is the relationship is over so she is doing nothing really wrong here but you are hurting so looking at that stuff will only make things much worse.

[Jord]

she told me she wasn't going to date anyone soon because she wants to respect me and not rebound, because we need to heal. we had an agreement not to date anyone for at least a year because it would hurt us. i know it sounds crazy, but this is what we agreed on. she told me, she may come back.

 

i don't know if she gave me false hope or is telling the truth.

 

i am making up stories in my head and overthinking this, i had a nervous breakdown last week, and i'm still a little crazy.

[loversquarrel]

1. You have nothing to worry about.

2. She IS dating someone new, you can't control it.

3. You CAN control you. Stop looking her up, doing so only hurts you...curiosity killed the cat.

[loversquarrel]

she told me she wasn't going to date anyone soon because she wants to respect me and not rebound, because we need to heal. we had an agreement not to date anyone for at least a year because it would hurt us. i know it sounds crazy, but this is what we agreed on. she told me, she may come back.

 

i don't know if she gave me false hope or is telling the truth.

 

i am making up stories in my head and overthinking this, i had a nervous breakdown last week, and i'm still a little crazy.

 

Well you fell victim to the bull**** people dish out when they want to have their cake and eat it too. She obviously doesn't give two ****s about you, so go have fun and meet other people. She isn't waiting around for you, she's already off to the races.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

she told me she wasn't going to date anyone soon because she wants to respect me and not rebound, because we need to heal. we had an agreement not to date anyone for at least a year because it would hurt us. i know it sounds crazy, but this is what we agreed on. she told me, she may come back.

 

i don't know if she gave me false hope or is telling the truth.

 

i am making up stories in my head and overthinking this, i had a nervous breakdown last week, and i'm still a little crazy.

 

Wow....I'm sorry to say, it really doesnt matter what she did say or who she was. That person is gone. I've also heard MANY females say the SAME exact thing. She is trying to spare your feelings. Actions speak louder than words my friend. Dont believe it and dont wait around because she isnt.

[Mariposa10]

Wow....I'm sorry to say, it really doesnt matter what she did say or who she was. That person is gone. I've also heard MANY females say the SAME exact thing. She is trying to spare your feelings. Actions speak louder than words my friend. Dont believe it and dont wait around because she isnt.

 

Not just "females" do this, my ex kept telling me until the very end he still loved me "so much." But he needed time to get rid of all the "negativity" he was feeling towards me. And that he was not moving on, all of this while he was banging another girl.

 

PLEASE, DO NOT WAIT A YEAR FOR THIS WOMAN. Get over her before you start another relationship though...

[Zahara]

she told me she wasn't going to date anyone soon because she wants to respect me and not rebound, because we need to heal. we had an agreement not to date anyone for at least a year because it would hurt us. i know it sounds crazy, but this is what we agreed on. she told me, she may come back.

 

i don't know if she gave me false hope or is telling the truth.

 

i am making up stories in my head and overthinking this, i had a nervous breakdown last week, and i'm still a little crazy.

 

Dumpers will say these things to alleviate your pain, relieve their guilt and sometimes to keep you on the side.

 

Forget the agreement. It's not realistic to make a promise that none of you will be dating for a year. She's the dumper. More likely she'll be ready to date way sooner than you are.

 

Accept that she will be dating. It's what people do after a break-up.

 

Stop looking at her FB.

[hurts2death]

i wish i could have sth to cure us all..but i dont

 

she left you...you are curious thats ok but dont let that curiosity ruin you..wait some months so she will get forgotten(she deserve it) than look but please dont feel...

 

she is dead to you now....can you love a ghost?

 

no way...

 

love you first....

[Jord]

f*ck! you guys were right, she texted me just now. her friend did snitch on me...this is what my ex just texted me...

 

"you are crazy and selfish, you don't know what space means. here you are again acting like the victim, thinking its only about you. not caring about perhaps, i am hurting too?! you want to know if i found someone else?! so f*cking selfish, i don't have to tell you sh*t, you go on and make believe. have fun piece of sh*t. you and your insecurities need to leave me alone for good. all this make up bullsh*t is ridiculous. your made up stories manifest and let you drown in your own mess. why can't you just accept that i didn't need another man to leave you? if you want to believe i'm with someone new to make you feel better than you can run away from the truth and secure yourself with make believes. i'm hanging out with all my close love ones and friends. again the truth is i left you because you never gave me you, you lied and it made me unhappy. this sh*t is old news. your stupid accusations are unessary. you've done nothing but make things worst for us. i don't want you in my life because you obsess about the dumbest sh*t ever! this is the last memory i have of you and it's sour."

 

wow, this is what i have to deal with. i only asked her friend "between me and you, is it true she's dating someone new?"

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

f*ck! you guys were right, she texted me just now. her friend did snitch on me...this is what my ex just texted me...

 

"you are crazy and selfish, you don't know what space means. here you are again acting like the victim, thinking its only about you. not caring about perhaps, i am hurting too?! you want to know if i found someone else?! so f*cking selfish, i don't have to tell you sh*t, you go on and make believe. have fun piece of sh*t. you and your insecurities need to leave me alone for good. all this make up bullsh*t is ridiculous. your made up stories manifest and let you drown in your own mess. why can't you just accept that i didn't need another man to leave you? if you want to believe i'm with someone new to make you feel better than you can run away from the truth and secure yourself with make believes. i'm hanging out with all my close love ones and friends. again the truth is i left you because you never gave me you, you lied and it made me unhappy. this sh*t is old news. your stupid accusations are unessary. you've done nothing but make things worst for us. i don't want you in my life because you obsess about the dumbest sh*t ever! this is the last memory i have of you and it's sour."

 

wow, this is what i have to deal with. i only asked her friend "between me and you, is it true she's dating someone new?"

 

This is one of those situations I HATE to be right.

 

I did the exact same thing. I talked to my ex's friend a bunch and of course, she said she wouldn't say anything...then she threw me under the bus. I'm not saying guys don't do it, but girls are known to gossip. I know exactly where you are at this point and it SUCKS

 

Honestly, your best and only plan now is to not contact her and block all social media. No contact and try to move on. Its a terrible feeling, but it has to be done. Good luck to you

[KatZee]

she told me she wasn't going to date anyone soon because she wants to respect me and not rebound. we had an agreement not to date anyone for at least a year because it would hurt us. i know it sounds crazy, but this is what we agreed on. she told me, she may come back.

 

I'm going to rewrite this for you and tell you what she really meant to say.

 

"I don't want to date you anymore. I really want to date other people, but I'm just going to keep you on my back burner just in case there's nothing really out there for me. I want to ensure you're my fall back guy and I want to make sure you don't attempt to move on while I'm out playing the field."

 

Do you HONESTLY think someone who dumps you is going to be single for A YEAR??

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I'm going to rewrite this for you and tell you what she really meant to say.

 

"I don't want to date you anymore. I really want to date other people, but I'm just going to keep you on my back burner just in case there's nothing really out there for me. I want to ensure you're my fall back guy and I want to make sure you don't attempt to move on while I'm out playing the field."

 

Do you HONESTLY think someone who dumps you is going to be single for A YEAR??

 

The situation has already changed since he wrote that. No need to be harsh

[KatZee]

f*ck! you guys were right, she texted me just now. her friend did snitch on me...this is what my ex just texted me...

 

wow, this is what i have to deal with. i only asked her friend "between me and you, is it true she's dating someone new?"

 

I really hope you're not surprised by this. Did you seriously go to your ex's friend and expect she wouldn't rat you out? That's not YOUR friend. That's your ex's friend. That persons loyalty is not to you in the least. That was your second mistake.

 

Your first mistake was snooping on the Facebook to being with.

 

And after reading her response, I'm sure there are lots of things here we don't know about your relationship with her. She mentions you making things up in your head, your insecurities, etc. Based on the obsession here with her, the mental breakdowns, the snooping, contacting her friends, trying to butt into her life... I can see where she's coming from. I can only imagine what was going on when you were actually dating her.

[KatZee]

The situation has already changed since he wrote that. No need to be harsh

 

That's not harsh. That's called reality. Dumpers are 9 out of 10 times full of absolute s.hit. He needs to see it for what it is and take her off this pedestal he has her own.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

That's not harsh. That's called reality. Dumpers are 9 out of 10 times full of absolute s.hit. He needs to see it for what it is and take her off this pedestal he has her own.

 

I'm sure that stat is accurate lol.

 

Again, he can see it without you just being so harsh with your reality. He'll get it soon enough. Judging isn't a good look.

[Jord]

she was single for 4 years before she was with me. She says it made her become this strong independent woman. That's another topic though. Idk if its all bs because she said shes the most honest partner. never lies. would you believe about what she said, about not dating that f*cking dude?

[KatZee]

I'm sure that stat is accurate lol.

 

Again, he can see it without you just being so harsh with your reality. He'll get it soon enough. Judging isn't a good look.

 

Who here is judging?

[KatZee]

she was single for 4 years before she was with me. She says it made her become this strong independent woman. That's another topic though. Idk if its all bs because she said shes the most honest partner. never lies. would you believe about what she said, about not dating that f*cking dude?

 

One can never trust a dumper. Sometimes they lie to spare your feelings, sometimes they lie to be spiteful.

 

YOU need to move on and let it go. It doesn't matter if she's lying, it doesn't matter if she's telling the truth. The only thing that matters is that she's out living life and moving on. You should be doing the same instead of dwelling on her.

[Jord]

One can never trust a dumper. Sometimes they lie to spare your feelings, sometimes they lie to be spiteful.

 

YOU need to move on and let it go. It doesn't matter if she's lying, it doesn't matter if she's telling the truth. The only thing that matters is that she's out living life and moving on. You should be doing the same instead of dwelling on her.

 

I don't want to date anyone else. you may think its right to rebound, but I don't. I can't just displace my love to someone new.

[Salvatore85]

she was single for 4 years before she was with me. She says it made her become this strong independent woman. That's another topic though. Idk if its all bs because she said shes the most honest partner. never lies. would you believe about what she said, about not dating that f*cking dude?

 

Dude seriously, who the hell cares if she's seeing someone else? You're sitting around snooping on her Facebook, calling her friends, reminiscing and none of that stuff is attractive. You want to know how I got my ex back the first time? I said eff it and did whatever the hell I wanted to do. I stopped caring about what she was doing because I couldn't control it and it would just eat me alive. If you think being a whiny, pain in the ass is going to get her back then you're sadly mistaken. Live your life to the fullest, have fun and meet new people. You don't need to start dating again but female friends are awesome after a break up.

 

Please don't take this as me being a jerk but you've got to toughen up. If you really want her back than your only chance is to move on. I know it sounds counter intuitive but it's the only thing that works. The only way she'll ever be attracted to you again is if she sees you living your life, full of confidence. The moment you don't care anymore is the moment you'll find out whether she's ever going to come back? Wake up tomorrow with a new purpose my friend. Not a purpose to get her back but a purpose to improve yourself and you will start to feel better, I promise you.

[veggirl]

I assume you are gonna go actual NC now? Since NOT going NC blew up in your face so spectacularly...? Don't ever, ever text someone's friends like that again. It honestly makes you look desperate and crazy. The only way to regain your dignity is NC!!! i hope you didn't respond to her text.