fullc Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 My ex broke up with me four months ago because he "didn't love me anymore." We spent about three months continuing to hang out/ hook up, during which I asked to get back together several times. He consistently put me down, telling me that although he cared for me he had no romantic feelings and didn't love me. Finally, we had a serious conversation (before we both came back to college) during which he told me to move on and we both recognized we were over for good. After that we went no contact so we could both heal. I still love him and miss him all the time, but have been doing much better especially now that I am back at school with my friends and busy with my schoolwork. A couple nights ago he called me slightly drunk and asked to come over. I agreed and met up with him. He immediately broke down and started telling me that he messed up, that he made a huge mistake, and that he still loves me so much it freaks him out. He recognized that he'd hurt me a lot and kept saying that I didn't deserve it. He told me he just wanted to stay in bed with me all day, that he didn't want to be with any other girl, and that he couldn't get me out of his mind. Although I love him so much, I obviously had a lot of reservations. I told him about my fear of getting hurt again, and tried to ask him why he was now telling me that he loved me when he'd spent the last three months telling me he didn't. He couldn't really give me a solid reason. By the time we were having this conversation it was really late (around 4 am) so we were both sober. He spent the night and the next morning when he woke up the first thing he said was "I love you so much." However, we both had classes we had to go to. When he left, he said "I don't really know what to say" and I didn't either, and then said "Have a good day" and left. He didn't contact me for the rest of the day. I ended up calling him late that night, and he didn't pick up (he was asleep). He didn't call me back until the afternoon of the next day. I asked him what everything he said meant, and he told me that he meant everything, but that he wasn't sure what it meant as far as the future. He told me what he did (call me while drunk and ask to come over) was unfair to me, and promised me that he would never do it again. I obviously am really confused and disappointed. I feel like I had just started to feel like a normal, functioning person. I'd accepted that he didn't love me, and that it was over. I feel like he came in and dropped a bomb and then left again. I don't know why he changed his mine about loving me, and why he told me that he does if he isn't willing to take any action and fight to get me back. Does anybody have any insight into what is going on his head? Anybody been in this situation before?
Mariposa10 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 How old are you guys? Sounds like he wants to be single, but he's having a hard time letting you go, or hasn't found anybody. My advice would be to get out of this vicious cycle because you are the one who gets hurt the most. This is not fair to you. You deserve someone who knows what he wants.
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