Is She Just Toying With Me?

[lakerman34]

That's a great reply. That needs it's own thread on how it's done. I've even copied it and saved it. Great words to use.

 

Why thank you!

 

Yeah, this is how I've been talking to her lately.

 

She has opened up to me, and she even apologized for "sounding really emo."

 

I just need to find a way to let her know "look, I'm not here to be that guy you come to on the internet when you need to figure something out. You want any more advice, it's going to have to be over dinner or something."

 

I don't know how to make that smooth.

[sickpuppy]

She may or may not be interested in me. Who knows?

 

She's a VERY strange girl. Far from typical.

 

One of my best friends has had a little crush on her for a while now. Another friend had to tell him he was being stupid for not introducing me to her (he had a girlfriend at the time).

 

He and I are constantly talking about why she does the things she does.

 

Apparently, a couple of weeks ago she texted my best friend to hang out. He was so weirded out, he declined. She never liked him, never went out of her way to talk to him, but all of a sudden wanted to hang out...and with MY best friend?

 

She's just strange. She can get almost any guy she wants, and has told me (before our "date") that she wanted a boyfriend but had trouble finding the right guy, yet she doesn't really give any guy a chance (I was one of, maybe, 3 that got a chance during her tenure at college).

 

So, I can't really put her into this "this is how girls are" formula. She's very unique. Until we are straight-up not talking, or I know for sure that I'm friendzoned or one of us finds a significant other/f-buddy, then I have to assume that there's still even a slight chance.

 

But don't you guys worry, I won't pass up other girls if/when they come up. I won't constrain myself in that way.

 

 

Your situation seems similar to my previous one. Though we never met up and I got the blow off.

 

You sound like you're a pretty cool dude and say what you feel. In my case I was extremely nervous around the girl I'd liked and though tried to control it I know I may've come off weird at times to her or too "nice". I myself found it hard to hold a look in her eyes or say what I felt without thinking I'd come off as weak or not a "real man".

 

Hey you're trying your best. It's all you can do. If it doesn't work out it doesn't.

 

I commend you for what you are strong enough to be doing. Even if you look like a "fool" to others. F it. You are simply doing you.

[lakerman34]

Your situation seems similar to my previous one. Though we never met up and I got the blow off.

 

You sound like you're a pretty cool dude and say what you feel. In my case I was extremely nervous around the girl I'd liked and though tried to control it I know I may've come off weird at times to her or too "nice". I myself found it hard to hold a look in her eyes or say what I felt without thinking I'd come off as weak or not a "real man".

 

Hey you're trying your best. It's all you can do. If it doesn't work out it doesn't.

 

I commend you for what you are strong enough to be doing. Even if you look like a "fool" to others. F it. You are simply doing you.

 

I think if a girl is worth it, you might have to fight for her.

 

Then again, 21 is so young. Her taste in guys is going to change vastly in the next few years, and she'll be more bearable as she matures.

[clia]

She may or may not be interested in me. Who knows?

 

She's a VERY strange girl. Far from typical.

 

One of my best friends has had a little crush on her for a while now. Another friend had to tell him he was being stupid for not introducing me to her (he had a girlfriend at the time).

 

He and I are constantly talking about why she does the things she does.

 

Apparently, a couple of weeks ago she texted my best friend to hang out. He was so weirded out, he declined. She never liked him, never went out of her way to talk to him, but all of a sudden wanted to hang out...and with MY best friend?

 

She's just strange. She can get almost any guy she wants, and has told me (before our "date") that she wanted a boyfriend but had trouble finding the right guy, yet she doesn't really give any guy a chance (I was one of, maybe, 3 that got a chance during her tenure at college).

 

So, I can't really put her into this "this is how girls are" formula. She's very unique. Until we are straight-up not talking, or I know for sure that I'm friendzoned or one of us finds a significant other/f-buddy, then I have to assume that there's still even a slight chance.

 

But don't you guys worry, I won't pass up other girls if/when they come up. I won't constrain myself in that way.

 

This girl is not a special unique snowflake, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start getting over her. You have no chance with her. None.

 

She has quite clearly expressed that she is not interested in you. Again, if she was interested in you, she wouldn't keep blowing you off when you have asked her out.

 

What explanation do you have for why she won't go to the haunted house with you or get together with you? Don't special snowflakes like to get together in person with guys they like?

[lakerman34]

This girl is not a special unique snowflake, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start getting over her. You have no chance with her. None.

 

She has quite clearly expressed that she is not interested in you. Again, if she was interested in you, she wouldn't keep blowing you off when you have asked her out.

 

What explanation do you have for why she won't go to the haunted house with you or get together with you? Don't special snowflakes like to get together in person with guys they like?

 

You clearly didn't read/misinterpreted what I said.

 

She's not a prissy, 'damsel in distress' type of girl. Grew up with guys her whole life. She's quite tomboyish. She even claims that it's hard to find a guy who has "bigger balls than she does."

 

I'm only available weekends. She knows that. This past weekend, she was apple orcharding with her friends, and I know she's supposed to hit up NYC either this weekend or next weekend.

 

I know how that sounds, but I'm holding on to little hope that, perhaps, "I'll let you know" means "I have other things coming up, next time I have a free weekend, I'll hit you up."

 

The problem with LoveShack is, from what I see, most people (mostly guys) think girls like a formula, and think love and feelings are a linear thing that can be assigned quantitative/qualitative values and then added up. Love is much messier than that, and not EVERY single girl can be fit into a single "love formula."

 

I've actually SEEN how this girl treats guys in her friend-zone. She's actually kind of a bro to them, but is also a lady, VERY nice, sweet, all that. To me, she can be cold, is OK with calling me names, picks on me, but at the same time, makes herself vulnerable to me....something that isn't easy for her to do.

 

Now, I understand I may just be seen as this online entity to her that she can talk to so she doesn't have to divulge confident information about herself to people she sees this other day, but surely one can see that this could ALSO be her opening up to a guy that, perhaps, may have potential for some sort of relationship.

 

Right now, she doesn't talk to me as a friend, and she doesn't talk to me as a lover. I'm neither in the friendzone nor in a relationship with her. As a previous poster mentioned, that puts me in either the "I don't know" zone, or she's just going to distant herself (as she has done with guys before) to avoid her own attachment.

 

Unless I get a good argument otherwise, I think I'm wise to keep my options open, but still see where this leads.

[sn0rlax]

Yo imo it seems like she isn't interested even after reading everything. From what I've learned when a girl is into you and sees you as a future bf or something they will make time for you and go out of their way to spend time with you. The fact that she's not making time for you seems like you're just a friend and that you are nowhere close to one of her top priorities which is where love and attraction would go.

 

I mean I know it's hard my ex wanted to be friends and talked to me and flirted but as soon as she dated this new guy less than a week ago, she suddenly takes hours to respond to small texts and hasn't even thought about texting me I bet. She even told me once this happen that she wants to stop leading me on after two months. LOL girls are crazy and you should just take the advice people give you because in general all girls are the same whether you want to believe it or not. Not saying guys don't do the same thing everybody just wants attention. Real talk

[sickpuppy]

Yo imo it seems like she isn't interested even after reading everything. From what I've learned when a girl is into you and sees you as a future bf or something they will make time for you and go out of their way to spend time with you. The fact that she's not making time for you seems like you're just a friend and that you are nowhere close to one of her top priorities which is where love and attraction would go.

 

I mean I know it's hard my ex wanted to be friends and talked to me and flirted but as soon as she dated this new guy less than a week ago, she suddenly takes hours to respond to small texts and hasn't even thought about texting me I bet. She even told me once this happen that she wants to stop leading me on after two months. LOL girls are crazy and you should just take the advice people give you because in general all girls are the same whether you want to believe it or not. Not saying guys don't do the same thing everybody just wants attention. Real talk

 

 

It's true. I guess all anyone can do is try to date as many people as they can and see if any of them they'd seriously want to date would seriously want to date them back.

 

If you aren't the guy that most girls want then it seems you have less value in other women you may like eyes as well. So in that case you are either almost forced to go after almost anyone like a lunatic or do nothing and hope someone you like likes you even more.

 

It's friggin crazy.

[lakerman34]

Yeah it does look bleak, I'll admit that.

 

I guess, at this point, just keep her as an option and roll forward.

 

She just messaged me. It just seems she likes to "check in" with me. I responded to her very shortly, she kept talking, and I just closed Facebook.

 

I guess this gives me license to initiate a conversation in a couple of days.

 

Am I wrong for micromanaging how I talk to girls when I like them? Is everyone like this?

 

My dad tells me that when he was dating my mom, he had to physically leave his apartment so he wouldn't be tempted to pickup the phone when my mom called. Trying to appear unavailable.

 

Trying less, doing less, hopefully gaining more. Time will tell. I don't know how much I can stretch out my patience.

Edited October 1, 2013 by lakerman34