Communication problems with my girlfriend

[high_voltage92]

So I am with this girl for one year and half, and I love her now. But this girl seems to have communication problems.

So whenever she gets mad about the craziest things, she would ignore me as much as she wants, this would get me very pissed and then I would hide my feelings and apologize for her, even when it has nothing to do with me. I picked many chances to let her know how this behavior made me unhappy and how it affected my life, but she never seemed to understand. One day, I finally decided to get out of the relationship and I broke up with her. She got extremely mad at first and then tried to convince me to get me back in the relationship, and promised me to change. After that she seemed tortured to me and made me guilty enough to forgive her.

Again another day, she ignored me for no particular reason and I started to worry about her. I called her everyday and she picked my calls but never answers, and also there were times when I called but she seemed like talking to someone else. This just drove me crazy and paranoid and I stopped calling her. I was so depressed and I had no one around to talk to, so I got on a social network just to meet people and to express what I was going through, not for dating. then I deleted my profile right when I felt a little bit better. For your information guys, I'd like to point out that this social network is where I met my girlfriend for the first time.

One morning, she started to call me and I ignored her for some hours since I was extremely pissed off about what she was doing to me. When I decided to answer her call she told me that she saw me on that social network and I was cheating on her, and asked me to never call her ever again.

I felt right into her trap and started to call her every moment but she just kept refusing to respond, then I started texting her a lot saying I was sorry, saying that I was not looking for cheating and how I could prove that I was not. Fortunately she just refused any kind of contact.

After that, I decided to give her some space, and she ended up calling me, that moment I was at work and could not answer right when she called. When I called her right when I could, she told me that shes busy for talking.

This morning, I tried to call her but again, she seems to start her same crappy game. So the last thing I did is telling her via text how our relationship lacks and suffers from communication and asked her to let me talk to her. Result ? still nothing.

guys what do you think should I do ? fight more ? I think I'm getting tired from what she is doing to me, her crazy behavior affects my life in everyway. I can't focus on my work and can't eat or sleep properly, and the worst thing is that I feel not able enough to break up because I still love her and have a great fear of losing my job. Please guys I really need some help, any advice would be appreciated.

[TB Rhine]

She's playing games... girls like to drop off the map every once in a while just to see what you'll do (either that, or she's got a few other guys on the hook, and she's ignoring you during the periods she's tending to them).

 

I had an ex who was like this - frequent contact and things getting lovey-dovey for a few weeks, then I wouldn't hear from her for two. When I finally broke down and issued some kind of blanket apology ("Sorry for whatever I may have done to tick you off" or something to that effect) she'd pop back up again, and the cycle would start anew.

 

Essentially, if you get ticked off or go on about how hurt you are, she'll use that as an excuse to dump you. If you break down and basically beg for another chance, she'll give you one (probably multiple other chances, in fact), but you'll just be in for the same treatment a few weeks or months down the road. My best advice would be to ignore her. If you don't hear from her for a few days, drop off the grid yourself and wait for her to come to you. When she does, turn around and ignore HER for a few days. That's really what she's looking for, anyway - a guy who can beat her at her own game.

 

I'm kinda starting to think that's what everyone in the dating world is looking for, actually.

[kassy]

Break up with her. This is a horrible relationship. Find someone who you have fun with and who is capable of a mature relationship. You can keep playing games with her but it won't change. She has shown you who she is and how the relationship will be. Find someone worthy.

[TB Rhine]

I agree with Kassy in theory. Game-playing like this is ridiculous and really should not be tolerated, morally speaking.

 

The thing is... I've interacted with a lot of women in my day, and I find there's *always* some sort of drama, some sort of game being played. A lot of folks on here are quick to say, "He/she is playing games - drop h/er." And while I'm sympathetic to that point of view, I think it's unrealistic. If he drops this girl, he'll move on to another who'll just proceed to jerk him around in a different way.

 

As hateful as it is, I think that any sort of success in the dating world ultimately requires you to learn how to play the game, to some extent. You have to learn to recognize these petty little tests and power plays (and I have no doubt that men do them as well) and find a way to navigate within them. Simply throwing up your hands and saying "I'm out!" is just going to leave you in no better position to handle the NEXT girl's games.

[coolheadal]

Why are you putting up with her nonsense! First you know this is wrong you need to pull in your gut and get away from her negative behavior. She's not acting like a girl friend at all! She has some emotional issues and frankly that should tip you off and to exit while you can. Move on.

 

Right now your in THE NOW! Your intent is to with someone who wants to communicate with you and love you as much as you would do for them. So this is your task go find that special girl and change your life around for the positive side!

[Keenly]

Emotional manipulation, guilt trips, making you apologize for her actions, yeah, gtfo.