To all those doing OLD. What sort of first messages do you like to receive?

[Philosopher]

If you are or were on an online dating website and you received a new message from someone, what sort of message would make you most likely to reply?

 

Would you like messages would loads of compliments on your personality, interests, job, etc or a message that focuses heavily on your shared interests?

 

Would a message with quite a bit of cheeky humour, such as "It's good that you say are intelligent, but you better be able to prove it by beating me in a pub quiz :)" do it for you? Or would you prefer witty one liners or self deprecating jokes?

 

Alternatively would you rather have a message that asks quite a few questions relating to what they have read on your profile, or would you see this more as an interrogation? Would a message that rambles on about themselves turn you off or would you not mind?

[Mascara]

Short and sweet, but which shows you've read the profile. A brief compliment, but not sleazy. A question, it gives a reason to reply.

[Copelandsanity]

I've done a total of 3 months of online dating in the past, FWIW. My success rate of receiving a legitimate response to a 1st message is around 40%, but I'm also selective with whom I message. Here are my suggestions:

 

1) Keep it light-hearted. Don't be serious.

2) Ask a question about an interest or passion she conveys on her profile.

3) Share a personal experience or a piece of something about yourself that's interesting.

4) Add a touch of humor to your message. I prefer to be witty/charming, but if cheeky is your style, roll with it. But DO NOT be self-deprecating, at all costs...not even to be amusing.

5) Leave an invitation to respond at the end.

6) Don't make the message too long, maybe like 8-12 lines total.

[Philosopher]

It's good to hear your insights. Normally I would like to receive messages that have a couple of questions based on my profile and that contain some jokes.

 

Normally I am sending out messages that ask a couple of questions based on what they have mentioned in their profile and that have a bit of cheeky humour in them. Sometimes I will compliment them on something or mention some shared interests, however I don't always do this. I'm usually fairly selective with whom I message. In the past these types of messages have worked quite well, however recently I have been getting very few profile views or replies to my messages.

 

Do messages like this work well or should I be trying something different?

[Phantom888]

When I was on Match, I winked at the women I found appealing. 1/3 of them would wink back, meaning they are superficially interested based on my profile and pictures. I would proceed with short and sweet compliments. Then we would text/email, and then go on a date.

 

I dated a woman earlier this year who winked me first on Match. She wrote a short message introducing herself. She sounded very nice and genuine, so I arranged for us to meet. I liked her a lot. We dated for 2 months.

 

I met my current love on Match as well. She initiated contact by commenting on my picture, "nice smile!". I then saw her pictures and read through her profile. I thought she's extremely beautiful, and her profile was honest. We texted and emailed for a bit. Called her up, and we talked for 3 hours non-stop. Met up for a date, and I was completely smitten.