Ganou Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Just wondering what other peoples insight is on this subject matter. My GF of 2 years (who broke up with me a week ago) has stated that we should see other people....eventho she had stated that she just needed space away from me for a while. Is this a sign that either: 1. She is just testing the waters to make sure she is going to stay with me, a pure commitment. 2. She is just telling me that it is over, go find someone else. I am not sure and am getting mixed messages from everyone. If anyone has ever encountered this, please inform me...cause I am a lost puppy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 She is telling you that she intends to date other people, and is hoping that in case it doesn't work out for her that you'll be the 'backup plan'. She will commit to you purely, only if nothing better comes along. Thats dismal. If it were me in the situation, I'd say "ok, honey - whatever you think is best" and then I'd make it impossible for her to reach me again. Its tough to do - to break all contact like that, but she is moving on and you should too. Who knows? Maybe if she sees her backup plan dissolving under her feet she'll rethink her decision to relegate you to the back burner.
Merin Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Ugh! I think it's so sh*tty when someone tells the thier partner.. "Gee, I think we need some "space" between us.. let's date other people and see what happens" If space and distance is what's needed for one or both parties to do some soul searching regarding the relationship.. okay. BUT there isn't any way for a person to consider the relationship they HAVE when they are trying to make a relationship with someone new work. When your mate has decided he/she wants, needs whatever the case may be to begin dating other people and has encouraged you to do the same.. I would take them at thier word that they mean it, consider the relationship the 2 of you had to be over and move on. As LucreziaBorgia has suggested.. if she see's that her plan A isn't working out, she very well may call you.. but think about if you really wish to be her back up plan.
Weird Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Agree with the previous two posts. If I had a woman say that stuff to me I'd tell her to go have fun fugging some of the male population and to leave me alone because she isn't worth my time.
hurtingandconfused Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 It basically means that there is someone else in her life.
Author Ganou Posted November 28, 2004 Author Posted November 28, 2004 Originally posted by Merin If space and distance is what's needed for one or both parties to do some soul searching regarding the relationship.. okay. BUT there isn't any way for a person to consider the relationship they HAVE when they are trying to make a relationship with someone new work. As said, both of us are going through some really rough personal time, which in turn led to our break up. I have realized many of my own personal problems, and have been working hard on them over the past week or so, which they will need more time. Also, as per us trying to date others, this idea came a friend of hers who is probably 15-20yrs older than both of us, which is outright pissing me off. She currently has almost all of her belongings here still, so she does have to come back some time. Just hope that like everyone is saying that I am not a back-up plan. Trust me to see her date someone else, is going to lead me to never look at the the same, ever again. I just wish I could tell her to get her stuff out right now, and call me if she does ever want to see me. I personally down't want to be used as a pawn in her chess game. - Ganou
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