What's women's obsession with us liking our jobs?

[irc333]

Funny , when I am at work, I just consider work...well, work..as with most people, we all have our criticisms about our job.

 

And anyone who shouts out TGIF from their cubicles may not be all that crazy about their jobs.

 

Of course, the origin of TGIF may have come from someone who couldn't WAIT until the weekend to take a break from the Rat Race, but when I see dating profiles that express how the man they seek must LOVE or at least be passionate about their career, I wonder what the obsession with this is?

 

I mean, think about it, how many people out there are seriously and TRUELY passionate about their careers (and I'm sure there are, I'm sure some select people have found their dream job and that's awesome...good female friend of mine's son has a Hollywood gig set up as a photographer and she's nothing more than a waitress, but she's happy for him, but we BOTH envy him. LOL)

 

Anyhow, I'm wondering why is this important when seeking a mate though?

[emva07]

i think it's just an automatic question, just like "what are your hobbies?" etc. The typical cliche first date questions that I hate so much.

 

The answer a person gives is not really to know whether the person loves their job or not but how their outlook on life is, positive or negative...

 

It's like a job interview....

 

When they ask how you liked your last job, you wouldn't say "i hated those ****ers, it was a lame job and i wanted to burn it down"

 

They aren't asking the question because they care how you like it, they want to know how you answer questions tactfully.

[MalachiX]

Well, I'm always a tad uncomfortable when people make any sort of blanket generalization about "women" or any other group of people.

 

I think it's important to remember that their are two sides to the coin.

 

Some women do want somebody who loves their job but there are plenty who just want someone who is financial stable and not miserable at their work.

 

There's often quite a price to pay for loving your job. Often, the kind of work that people love is pretty crowded. Take my line of work for instance:

 

I'm a filmmaker and sometimes a photographer in Los Angeles. It took me a long time to make it out here, having started out working in New Orleans and other parts of Louisiana directing training videos and short films.

 

In Los Angeles, the competition for my line of work is insane and, because the city is so full of movie-people; the career doesn't have the appeal or glamour to locals that it might in other places.

 

I do this work because I LOVE it. That said, it often lacks the glamour that I'd like it to have. For every time I get to direct a cool web-commercial or a music video, there are a ton of other times when I'm doing a training video for the government, shooting headshots for actors, working part time at production company, or doing a ton of other less cool stuff just in an attempt to make ends meet. I've even had to work as a bartender at times to make ends meet (as well as teach). Even the more high-profile gigs can be maddening since bigger clients want more control and that gets pretty frustrating. And even with all this work, there's constantly a compromise between making money and doing things the way I want to. Right I'm putting together a script for a web spot for an iPhone app. The problem is that the budget is so small I have to cut my pay and the pay of my team so that we can put more money into the spot and produce something we're proud of. This may sound romantic but it's really hard financially as well as being exhausting. It's especially hard with the knowladge that I could probably be making a ton more money and have a more simple life if I got a 9-5 gig.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that the grass is always greener

[irc333]

I'm a filmmaker and sometimes a photographer in Los Angeles. It took me a long time to make it out here, having started out working in New Orleans and other parts of Louisiana directing training videos and short films.

 

Wow, what a small world, the friend I spoke of whose son does the same thing, has gotten is or will be getting his big gig working with Michael Shannon in New Orleans. I wonder if it's the same location?

 

I have always loved writing comedy sketches myself, but I never became a writer on SNL , LOL.

 

I have been playing an "extra" in a friends' business that does the same thing (shooting commercials, training videos, etc) but I was an extra in his flick that was for entertainment though.

[MalachiX]

Wow, what a small world, the friend I spoke of whose son does the same thing, has gotten is or will be getting his big gig working with Michael Shannon in New Orleans. I wonder if it's the same location?

 

I have always loved writing comedy sketches myself, but I never became a writer on SNL , LOL.

 

I have been playing an "extra" in a friends' business that does the same thing (shooting commercials, training videos, etc) but I was an extra in his flick that was for entertainment though.

 

It seems like a small world but New Orleans actually has a ton of production because of tax breaks (and sympathy after Katrina).

 

I've done extra and stand-in work as well to try to make ends meet in between gigs.

 

Once again, it's one of those things that really seems a lot more glamorous to people outside of Los Angeles (not trying to sound cynical since I'm glad to be here). So many people "doing what they love" and "chasing their dreams" are in very difficult financial situations and hanging on by a thread. The actress who plays Flo in the Progressive commercials was in the process of moving back home and giving up when she got the role. John Hamm was about to leave Los Angeles and go back to teaching when he got Mad Men. I have a friend who's gotten a few parts in films and gets to be in sketches on The Tonight Show but she stills spends most of her time as a waitress just scraping by.

 

This kind of thing gets really hard in your late 20s and early 30s. At this point, all your friends from back home have gotten real careers and are having kids and starting college funds. Meanwhile, you're no more financial stable than you were in your early 20s and the only thing you have to show for it is that you're "chasing your dream." Sometimes it pays off (as it did with John Hamm and a ton of other actors, writers, musicians, and other creative types). Other times you're left wondering if it was all worth it.

 

Despite what society may say, there's great value in doing a job that's secure and being able to focus on YOUR LIFE instead of trying to "make it."

Steve Martin once said that you shouldn't get into entertainment if you can do anything else (he also said nobody who does this for the long haul had a happy childhood).

 

Once again, I'm not trying to be negative because I love what I do and I love the fact that my life is often exciting. I'm happy I'm doing this instead of video-taping football games for a local college or working at a local TV station (which is what a lot of my friends from under-grad are doing). Nevertheless, those friends are all married and get to have a personal life that those of us out here can only dream of.

 

I think the trick is to strike a balance between finding something that works and still finding value in it. My best friend had to give up on his dream of being a musician but he's currently a sales manager for one of the biggest audio companies in the world and gets to travel all around the globe and meet important people in the music business. It's a great job, provides a stable income, and he's really happy doing it.

[irc333]

Yeah, I read an article about and a picture of a "bus boy" with his apron on trying to make it big in acting....and he's been "chasing the dream" for 4 years at a local Red Lobster.

 

Women sneer at some of these guys and whisper "looser" to themselves

 

I heard some people can make a full time job as an extra and aware of someone in Hollywood having pretty food fun editing movie trailers.

 

Though, I do tend to keep hearing the Sam Adams mantra of, "Do what you love and never have to work a DAY in your life!" lol

 

Bryan Cranston admitted that being an actor is like being a gypsy, the show ends and you move on to find other work.

 

I wish I could be one of those guys that would think of that ONE great invention that anyone could have thought of and make a billion. Like the pet rock! lol

 

 

It seems like a small world but New Orleans actually has a ton of production because of tax breaks (and sympathy after Katrina).

 

I've done extra and stand-in work as well to try to make ends meet in between gigs.

 

Once again, it's one of those things that really seems a lot more glamorous to people outside of Los Angeles (not trying to sound cynical since I'm glad to be here). So many people "doing what they love" and "chasing their dreams" are in very difficult financial situations and hanging on by a thread. The actress who plays Flo in the Progressive commercials was in the process of moving back home and giving up when she got the role. John Hamm was about to leave Los Angeles and go back to teaching when he got Mad Men. I have a friend who's gotten a few parts in films and gets to be in sketches on The Tonight Show but she stills spends most of her time as a waitress just scraping by.

 

This kind of thing gets really hard in your late 20s and early 30s. At this point, all your friends from back home have gotten real careers and are having kids and starting college funds. Meanwhile, you're no more financial stable than you were in your early 20s and the only thing you have to show for it is that you're "chasing your dream." Sometimes it pays off (as it did with John Hamm and a ton of other actors, writers, musicians, and other creative types). Other times you're left wondering if it was all worth it.

 

Despite what society may say, there's great value in doing a job that's secure and being able to focus on YOUR LIFE instead of trying to "make it."

Steve Martin once said that you shouldn't get into entertainment if you can do anything else (he also said nobody who does this for the long haul had a happy childhood).

 

Once again, I'm not trying to be negative because I love what I do and I love the fact that my life is often exciting. I'm happy I'm doing this instead of video-taping football games for a local college or working at a local TV station (which is what a lot of my friends from under-grad are doing). Nevertheless, those friends are all married and get to have a personal life that those of us out here can only dream of.

 

I think the trick is to strike a balance between finding something that works and still finding value in it. My best friend had to give up on his dream of being a musician but he's currently a sales manager for one of the biggest audio companies in the world and gets to travel all around the globe and meet important people in the music business. It's a great job, provides a stable income, and he's really happy doing it.

[Mascara]

My career is one that a lot of people wish they could have. But when people say "wow, I wish I did that", I always say - everything becomes just a job in the end. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate work, but when it IS work, it loses its sparkle. There are downsides to every job, and I still look forward to my days off.

 

As to why I'd prefer to be with someone who does at least like what they do most of the time.... nothing worse than a whiny partner who hates half their life. Been there, and there's only so many times you can say "do something else then" before you start to think they just like being miserable.

[Got it]

Funny , when I am at work, I just consider work...well, work..as with most people, we all have our criticisms about our job.

 

And anyone who shouts out TGIF from their cubicles may not be all that crazy about their jobs.

 

Of course, the origin of TGIF may have come from someone who couldn't WAIT until the weekend to take a break from the Rat Race, but when I see dating profiles that express how the man they seek must LOVE or at least be passionate about their career, I wonder what the obsession with this is?

 

I mean, think about it, how many people out there are seriously and TRUELY passionate about their careers (and I'm sure there are, I'm sure some select people have found their dream job and that's awesome...good female friend of mine's son has a Hollywood gig set up as a photographer and she's nothing more than a waitress, but she's happy for him, but we BOTH envy him. LOL)

 

Anyhow, I'm wondering why is this important when seeking a mate though?

 

It is important to me because I want someone that is actively involved in their career, not just working a job. I am a workacoholic and I want someone of like mind because I have found that it works better that way. I have been with someone that hated their job and was just punching the clock. It didn't work.

 

So I am passionate about my career and I want a person that is passionate about their life including what they spend most of the waking hours doing. I am fine that if in the short term it isn't the case but they are working on "moving their cheese" to make it happen.

[MrTurk]

I guarantee months down the road.....when dating one of these "you must like your job women".....they will go off a few times here and there about issues at THEIR job.

 

And thats when me, being who I am would point out....remember when you said........

 

All this criteria, and questions, that women pose on their profiles, or during the dating interview are nothing but bullsh*t.

 

It does NOT define the person in respect to the relationship.

 

Women THINK they can dissect guys with these questions, but they cant. The questions are there more for the woman feeling comfortable than for the guy actually coming up with a good answer.

[carhill]

What's women's obsession with us liking our jobs?

 

I haven't noticed that but perhaps that's due to not having a job and being weeded out on that factor so the question or analysis of 'like' never comes up.

 

I found stuff to do which I loved at an early age so haven't had a job in decades. What women think of it never even enters my mind, except when pondering a question such as this. Probably the closest I came to caring was when I was married and my wife was whoring out my skills to her social circle under the guise of 'being generous'. I cared a little then but solved that problem.

 

Women do what they do. Analyzing it is IMO a waste of time.

[MissBee]

Funny , when I am at work, I just consider work...well, work..as with most people, we all have our criticisms about our job.

 

And anyone who shouts out TGIF from their cubicles may not be all that crazy about their jobs.

 

Of course, the origin of TGIF may have come from someone who couldn't WAIT until the weekend to take a break from the Rat Race, but when I see dating profiles that express how the man they seek must LOVE or at least be passionate about their career, I wonder what the obsession with this is?

 

I mean, think about it, how many people out there are seriously and TRUELY passionate about their careers (and I'm sure there are, I'm sure some select people have found their dream job and that's awesome...good female friend of mine's son has a Hollywood gig set up as a photographer and she's nothing more than a waitress, but she's happy for him, but we BOTH envy him. LOL)

 

Anyhow, I'm wondering why is this important when seeking a mate though?

 

Someone who hates their career will likely be complaining all the time about it and acting like they hate their life, so the opposite, someone who is satisfied and pleased with their career seems like a more pleasant bet. Those who enjoy what they do and are fulfilled in that way will more likely be more pleasant to be around than those who hate what they do but just need money.

 

For some, they think satisfaction implies lucrative career and job implies something you do to make mone so it's also a way to gauge success and ambition.

 

Do I see myself with a man who just has a job? No I don't really see that. I'm doing what I love to do, which I'm meant to do and will continue to grow in all kinds of ways because of it so I'd like someone who feels the same...not just doing a job for a check.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MissBee

[hppr]

It all depends on your age.

 

When they are teenagers the guy who is 'hot' football player whatever is most attractive.

 

As they get older, say after college, late 20s the ambitious guy who loves going to work every day and has plans for the future starts to become attractive since they want to settle down.

 

30s it seems like most women just want a guy who has a job, likes her kids and is emotionally stable.

[MrTurk]

I have been with someone that hated their job and was just punching the clock. It didn't work.

 

For you specifically....you may need more than that. You may need that passion.

 

But there are millions of couples getting along just fine, and they both simply punch a clock and dislike it.

 

Leaving work at work is the key to success, not so much whether you enjoy your work.

[MrTurk]

It all depends on your age.

 

When they are teenagers the guy who is 'hot' football player whatever is most attractive.

 

As they get older, say after college, late 20s the ambitious guy who loves going to work every day and has plans for the future starts to become attractive since they want to settle down.

 

30s it seems like most women just want a guy who has a job, likes her kids and is emotionally stable.

 

 

Very true. But of course there will be women on here denying it

[EasyHeart]

Funny , when I am at work, I just consider work...well, work..as with most people, we all have our criticisms about our job.

 

And anyone who shouts out TGIF from their cubicles may not be all that crazy about their jobs.

It's a meme that women pass to each other. They think that if you love your job, it means (a) you are stable and (b) you aren't angry or depressed.

[Got it]

For you specifically....you may need more than that. You may need that passion.

 

But there are millions of couples getting along just fine, and they both simply punch a clock and dislike it.

 

Leaving work at work is the key to success, not so much whether you enjoy your work.

 

Maybe for you specifically. For me, yes enjoying your career is important and working a job isn't.

 

This thread is labeling why the majority of women have an obsession with guys liking their job. As a woman, I stated my opinion. You counter with what many other couples are doing and getting along just fine punching a clock. Doesn't that right there state that the premise of the whole original thread is bogus? If millions are couples hate their jobs equally and are thusly in a relationship there isn't apparently a great conspiracy theory about women being obsessed with men loving their jobs.

 

For myself personally, the key is not leaving work at work as that isn't something that can be done if you are in a high power position. So, because of that, I want a partner of equal status/responsibility. Why? Because it makes our time management, responsibilities, stresses, etc. similar and more likely to understand/empathize.