youngbutoldsoul Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I was talking to my close friend (who lives out of state) and told her I'm still not over my ex who dumped me 6 months ago. She said something that sort was a spark that might ignite my attempt to contact my ex. She said if I still want to be with him and feel like he's The One, I should get in touch with him again. I said "No, I can't, I made it clear I can't be his friend and that if we want different things, I need to move on with my life" (that was the last text I ever sent and he ignored it 3 months ago til this day...). She said "if you love him, your pride/ego shouldn't get in the way." I'm SO TORN. I love him so deeply and I would take any chances. Despite being a dumpee, I acknowledge much of the stresses in the relationship were caused by me. It's not one fight that turns the switch. It's an accumulation of different struggles....almost like plaque building up in one's arteries from a poor diet. While I don't harbor regrets, I know that we can have such a healthy and sustainable relationship. It's too sad that we haven't spoken for so long....I want to contact him but it feels wrong it so many ways because I've been rejected from all the beginning, all the tears, all the efforts I tried for weeks to get him back but still nothing I hoped for happened. What's the best thing to do?!
melell Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I think the best thing for you to do is remain no contact BUT I have read this kind of post before a few times, and I can totally see how it would feel as though you are being stubborn, or closing yourself off to anything. But, at the end of the day this person has the ability to really hurt you over this, so if you do decide to reach out be prepared for it. I see a few points to this 1. You contact him, he rejects you, and that last bit of hurt helps you completely move on 2. You contact him, he rejects you, and you get set back in recovery 3. You contact him, he welcomes you as a friend, you have a friend- that may or may not hurt you 4. You contact him, he wants to reconcile- that may or may not end up hurting you. It is a tough one. I can see potential for it to help you move on, or set you back. 2
Leegh Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Perhaps you could text or email him one more time, and then leave the ball in his court. Although the holiday season is obviously not here yet, it will be upon us soon. Possibly a week before Thanksgiving you could send him a casual email wishing him a "Happy Thanksgiving" and perhaps suggesting getting together. The holiday season is a good excuse for contacting old friends and boyfriends. If the ending with him was somewhat unclear, maybe doing this would give you more clarity. Personally, I would make one more attempt and you could ask him out in the email, and then you will know you did all you could. Good Luck!
HoneyBunny2003 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Don't contact him. From your post I think he knows how you feel. If or when he's interested in rekindling anything with you he will make contact. Putting yourself out there like that six months after your breakup will only set you back and prolong your own healing process. Take care of you and if the relationship is meant to be it will take care of itself. 1
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