Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I have been talking/hanging out with this guy I met about a month and a half ago. We don't know each other really well but we have done a lot of talking/hanging out since the point of us meeting up until now. I had to get rid of my cell phone for financial reasons so we haven't been talking much lately. While I am phoneless and not really connected to anyone right now, he messages me last Friday asking to borrow a book of mine on Facebook. Well I basically told him I can't right now because I am in a situation right now where I just don't have the time to bother looking for the book. I work two freakin jobs the last thing I want to do is spend my free time looking for a book. Here's our interaction between each other: Him: Book of enoch??? He actually sent one of those silly faces along with the question but I can't copy/paste that since its part of fb's site... Him: r u tryna delete me from yo life? (WTF did this question come from??) I did not receive his messages until a full day later because I don't have a phone and no internet at home. I'm messaging him from my mom's really sucky phone. lol Me: lmao...no i told you i wont have a phone for a while...i don't have internet at home so communication is going to be kinda hard. i'll be getting internet some time next week though Him: Ok borrow me your book of enoch then lol Me: Borrow me? You mean loan you. Lol How are you going to get it? Him: Crawl.......smh car Me: Transportation isn't the issue its actually timing and ain't no way im gonna sit home all day waiting for you to come over. Him: omg....i can pick it up at your work or home lool Me: You willing to do all that just to get a book?? Lmao I just think somebody misses me. Him: well you said if i need anything, merely to send you message on facebook...and now here i am requesting for a book I remember you said that you would LOAN Not borrow....but now you giving me a hard time..somethings up...its not just a book,, its the book of enoch lol....any other book i could care less Me: What's up? Speak your mind. lol I just am busy and don't really want to put in the effort to look for it right now. Dunno where I put it. You do know you can read the book of enoch online, right? Its free just Google it. It'll save you time and gas from coming out to get it from me. Him: sigh...ok (my name) all you needed to say was that and no lol Me: Lol If I wanted to say no I would have. You just asked at such an inconvenient time. Oh, you should def see Now You See Me. Was a good movie. Him: ok That's it nothing else. Now doesn't it seem like he doesn't want to talk to me now that I don't want to loan him my book right now? Its so stupid and a bit selfish that he actually acted this way. I mean its just a freakin' book. Am I wrong for telling him how I really felt I really am not in the mood to look for it. Besides I have no phone, how would I get in touch with him in order to get it back?? We barely communicate on fb, I almost never catch him online.
nessaaa Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 He just wanted the book....you came off as complicated. notice how he wasn't interested in talking about the movie, he's not into u like that. Just wanted the book. I have been talking/hanging out with this guy I met about a month and a half ago. We don't know each other really well but we have done a lot of talking/hanging out since the point of us meeting up until now. I had to get rid of my cell phone for financial reasons so we haven't been talking much lately. While I am phoneless and not really connected to anyone right now, he messages me last Friday asking to borrow a book of mine on Facebook. Well I basically told him I can't right now because I am in a situation right now where I just don't have the time to bother looking for the book. I work two freakin jobs the last thing I want to do is spend my free time looking for a book. Here's our interaction between each other: Him: Book of enoch??? He actually sent one of those silly faces along with the question but I can't copy/paste that since its part of fb's site... Him: r u tryna delete me from yo life? (WTF did this question come from??) I did not receive his messages until a full day later because I don't have a phone and no internet at home. I'm messaging him from my mom's really sucky phone. lol Me: lmao...no i told you i wont have a phone for a while...i don't have internet at home so communication is going to be kinda hard. i'll be getting internet some time next week though Him: Ok borrow me your book of enoch then lol Me: Borrow me? You mean loan you. Lol How are you going to get it? Him: Crawl.......smh car Me: Transportation isn't the issue its actually timing and ain't no way im gonna sit home all day waiting for you to come over. Him: omg....i can pick it up at your work or home lool Me: You willing to do all that just to get a book?? Lmao I just think somebody misses me. Him: well you said if i need anything, merely to send you message on facebook...and now here i am requesting for a book I remember you said that you would LOAN Not borrow....but now you giving me a hard time..somethings up...its not just a book,, its the book of enoch lol....any other book i could care less Me: What's up? Speak your mind. lol I just am busy and don't really want to put in the effort to look for it right now. Dunno where I put it. You do know you can read the book of enoch online, right? Its free just Google it. It'll save you time and gas from coming out to get it from me. Him: sigh...ok (my name) all you needed to say was that and no lol Me: Lol If I wanted to say no I would have. You just asked at such an inconvenient time. Oh, you should def see Now You See Me. Was a good movie. Him: ok That's it nothing else. Now doesn't it seem like he doesn't want to talk to me now that I don't want to loan him my book right now? Its so stupid and a bit selfish that he actually acted this way. I mean its just a freakin' book. Am I wrong for telling him how I really felt I really am not in the mood to look for it. Besides I have no phone, how would I get in touch with him in order to get it back?? We barely communicate on fb, I almost never catch him online. 2
coolheadal Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Don't read much into this conversation when it comes to text talk. I have to agree with the prior post reply he just wants that book from you and nothing else. You could of told him to come over and help you look for the book you could have made it an adventure hunt getting in would be a great way to get you two know each other better just by talking THE NOW! But being negative not really a positive way to start getting to know someone.
nessaaa Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Even if he was interested in you [though I'd go with 'he just wanted the book'], you kinda screwed up with the way you handled it. You could have said what you said at the end [so I agree with him] and get it over with. Instead you were talking about loan vs borrow and other stuff. [And he didn't ask you to wait for him at the house] If you want the guy to ask you out, you gotta be more flirty and a bit nicer on text. If it was just a book, you should have given it to him and use that as an excuse to hang out to see if you have spark. Stop blaming the guy. She did flirt with the " I know you miss me" comment........ he shot her down by not feeding into it 1
nessaaa Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Right. But it was way too late at that point. He already thinks he is blocked on her phone etc [delete me from your life comment] and then he gets "ain't no way im gonna sit home all day waiting for you to come over" line which is not so nice [to put it mildly] not to mention pointless [he didn't ask him to wait at home]. I am just saying a girl who is interested in a man, enough to write about it on a LoveShack forum, could have been nicer to him. And we know damn well she would've waited! 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 wow. I am lazy with replying to people these days and seldom bother writing in other peoples threads at all, much less start my own. Just wow though. I really felt compelled to have to help you here... You handled this situation very badly, and you come off as a very difficult person to deal with, not to mention you sound negative. Guys want happy and positive interactions with girls. For instance, the best way you could have handled his request of borrowing a book was: " sure, when I am free I will take a look for it and let you know when I find it. You're welcome to come get it anytime. Sorry about not contacting you sooner, my phone isn't working right now and I don't have the internet at home either" if you want ANY success in dating you HAVE to change your outlook. Just learn to be calm and easy going. And positive. Please, just be friendly and do not cause any unnecessary issues. If a person asks something, just a simple 'yes' or " no, sorry, I can't help you right now" will suffice. I cringed at the part where you said " aww someone obviously misses me" bit... Are you kidding me? This guy was losing interest more and more every time you texted him:sick: Please listen to us and re asses the way you handle men. You won't get anywhere the way you are now, sorry. 2
MalachiX Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I think you both write "lol" far too much in your conversations. That said, I'm impressed that you're both interested in the Book of Enoch. 1
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 And we know damn well she would've waited! No, I wouldn't have. I work two jobs. There are much better things to do with my time than waist it on someone who isn't worth it. I think of this person as a friend. I had already explained my situation to my friend. He knows I have no phone and no car for the time being. I felt him asking to borrow something of mine at such an inconvenient point in my life is really inconsiderate. How would I get in touch with him about the book? We are almost never online at the same time. That annoyed me that he did that so yes I was difficult...on purpose.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 wow. I am lazy with replying to people these days and seldom bother writing in other peoples threads at all, much less start my own. Just wow though. I really felt compelled to have to help you here... You handled this situation very badly, and you come off as a very difficult person to deal with, not to mention you sound negative. Guys want happy and positive interactions with girls. For instance, the best way you could have handled his request of borrowing a book was: " sure, when I am free I will take a look for it and let you know when I find it. You're welcome to come get it anytime. Sorry about not contacting you sooner, my phone isn't working right now and I don't have the internet at home either" if you want ANY success in dating you HAVE to change your outlook. Just learn to be calm and easy going. And positive. Please, just be friendly and do not cause any unnecessary issues. If a person asks something, just a simple 'yes' or " no, sorry, I can't help you right now" will suffice. I cringed at the part where you said " aww someone obviously misses me" bit... Are you kidding me? This guy was losing interest more and more every time you texted him:sick: Please listen to us and re asses the way you handle men. You won't get anywhere the way you are now, sorry. The only reason I responded the way I did was because he knows my situation. I don't have a car or a phone right now. How would I get in touch with him about my book? How do I know he would give it back to me if I gave it to him? I don't even know where this guy lives! I have yet to see his place. I am not being difficult I'm being logical. I don't want to date this guy I see him as just a friend. As for the "I just think somebody misses me" part I wasn't serious. I was just joking. Trust me I know the signs of when a guy is interested in me. Prior to that convo things were real cool between us.
StanMusial Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 You seem like a big hassle, I don't blame him if he never tries again.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) Right. But it was way too late at that point. He already thinks he is blocked on her phone etc [delete me from your life comment] and then he gets "ain't no way im gonna sit home all day waiting for you to come over" line which is not so nice [to put it mildly] not to mention pointless [he didn't ask him to wait at home]. I am just saying a girl who is interested in a man, enough to write about it on a LoveShack forum, could have been nicer to him. LMAO. I don't have a car. AND, I had told him I won't have a phone for a while. He knows I don't have a phone!! I would have had to wait for him to come over and get it. Also how on earth would he have gotten the book at my job...if I don't have a freakin phone?? How would I know he is outside?? He's actually requesting I put in a whole lot more effort than it seems in that regard. I'm just not up for it. He knows I don't have a car....as I repeat, I DON'T know where he lives, I have never been over to his place so I couldn't even stop by to get it back even if I wanted to. I guess me omitting some information has sort of unbalanced my reasoning and logic behind it all to you guys. Sorry about that. Edited September 28, 2013 by Lolita_Sky
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 You seem like a big hassle, I don't blame him if he never tries again. I doubt you read any of my responses.
Copelandsanity Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 if you want ANY success in dating you HAVE to change your outlook. Just learn to be calm and easy going. And positive. Please, just be friendly and do not cause any unnecessary issues. It's not just in dating, but life in general.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) It's not just in dating, but life in general. Totally agree. But as far as this goes I felt I was justified in my response to him. He knew my situation. No car, no phone no idea where he lives... Wouldn't you feel some kind of way if someone asked to borrow something of yours without at the least knowing where they live so that you can go by and pick it up? Just thought everyone thought that way.... Oh, and he doesn't want me coming over to his place.... so asking him where he lives is out of the question... Edited September 28, 2013 by Lolita_Sky
Copelandsanity Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 LMAO. I don't have a car. AND, I had told him I won't have a phone for a while. He knows I don't have a phone!! I would have had to wait for him to come over and get it. Also how on earth would he have gotten the book at my job...if I don't have a freakin phone?? How would I know he is outside?? He's actually requesting I put in a whole lot more effort than it seems in that regard. I'm just not up for it. He knows I don't have a car....as I repeat, I DON'T know where he lives, I have never been over to his place so I couldn't even stop by to get it back even if I wanted to. I guess me omitting some information has sort of unbalanced my reasoning and logic behind it all to you guys. Sorry about that. It's just a brief text conversation, so I'm not going to put that much stock into it. The point that others are making is that none of the above really matters. He just made a simple request and all it required was a simple or friendly response.
StanMusial Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 LMAO. I don't have a car. AND, I had told him I won't have a phone for a while. He knows I don't have a phone!! I would have had to wait for him to come over and get it. Also how on earth would he have gotten the book at my job...if I don't have a freakin phone?? How would I know he is outside?? He's actually requesting I put in a whole lot more effort than it seems in that regard. I'm just not up for it. He knows I don't have a car....as I repeat, I DON'T know where he lives, I have never been over to his place so I couldn't even stop by to get it back even if I wanted to. I guess me omitting some information has sort of unbalanced my reasoning and logic behind it all to you guys. Sorry about that. I doubt you read any of my responses. None of your responses are any indicator that you are less of a hassle than I originally thought. 1
cif Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 He asked you for the book, said he'd come pick it up from your job or home. You said you don't want to look for it. End of story. You're the one who gave him the cold shoulder. 2
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 None of your responses are any indicator that you are less of a hassle than I originally thought. My reply would be just "ok" but its saying my response was too short. Lol I'm only a hassle when I want to be. In this situation I was a "hassle" on purpose.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 He asked you for the book, said he'd come pick it up from your job or home. You said you don't want to look for it. End of story. You're the one who gave him the cold shoulder. Your post made the most sense out of everyone else's. Lol I think you're right. I didn't mean to come off as rude but I was just being honest. I see him as a friend and don't really want to lose our friendship over this but I really think he is upset about our interaction. He's normally a lot nicer to me. Lol I might just look the thing this weekend since I'm off. Just have no idea where I put it. lol
cif Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Your post made the most sense out of everyone else's. Lol I think you're right. I didn't mean to come off as rude but I was just being honest. I see him as a friend and don't really want to lose our friendship over this but I really think he is upset about our interaction. He's normally a lot nicer to me. Lol I might just look the thing this weekend since I'm off. Just have no idea where I put it. lol I don't think you were really rude to him, you told him you were busy. Good idea to give him the book lol, will probably make him feel better.
klotzak Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I think you should avoid this guy he's time wasting.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 I think you should avoid this guy he's time wasting. He's not wasting my time. I haven't invested in anything with him for there to be anything wasted. He comes to see me, he pays every time we go out so I haven't lost anything. If anything he's just been company for when I was bored. I know it sounds selfish and insensitive to put it in that context but I'm just being honest. I like him though as a friend. Honestly I just think he wants us to be fwb and I just don't even want that kind of relationship with him.
TB Rhine Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 A real man would have offered to come over and help her find the book. ;-)
TB Rhine Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 You guys are being a little harsh. I think the OP is a cute little thing, and well worth hassling over. In all seriousness, though - I agree she may have appeared to be playing games, which some guys have little patience for. She didn't come across as nasty to me, though. If this dude is willing to give up so quickly, his heart must not have really been in it.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 Lolita, you sounded very nasty, passive aggressive and like you were playing games. He wanted the book, he didn't want to deal with your attitude. You should have handled this better. I wouldn't come back for more of your abuse if I were him. Lmao, OKAY. I'm generally a nice person. BUT at the same time I am just being me, some people see it as being "nasty", "passive aggressive", or "playing games" , however if I switched the script and was the complete opposite, you'd be telling me I was too nice or I was spineless. No point in trying to explain myself to you people, I am me. What I said was not intended to be "nasty" or "passive aggressive", that's just me, and how I talk.
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