dolita Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 hi.. i'm new to this forum I've been in NC since the breakup on valentine's day. And he hasn't contacted me in any form. I guess it's over for good.... It's been like 7 months and I did not beg or plead. It really makes me wonder maybe I did not fight for the relationship? maybe I let go too easily? but from past experience (and humiliations lol) I went NC right away after the breakup. everyone's ex has contacted them at least once or twice during NC, but me, nothing it really makes me sad, am I not worthy? lol sorry btw english is my 2nd language
Simon Phoenix Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Just means that you spared yourself additional heartache. You fighting for him wouldn't have made a difference -- just would have made your pain sharper and last longer. 6
AnyaNova Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 My ex hasn't contacted me at all, save for two short notes (still waiting on them, although one wont be for al least a year) he said he would send me letting me regarding two key career advancements. I am curious now if he will send those. I hope he sticks to his word. But you are not the only dumped one to have not gotten breadcrumbs from your ex. I know it should be a relief. But I really want to hear from him sometimes. I can't wait til this is over. I did not deserve this, and I would have given nearly anything to see him become the man that he was meant to be. 1
melell Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I think both the dumper and dumpee in some cases use NC in the same way. Sounds like you both just decided it was easier to never revisit the situation again. He probably would have wondered at some point why you never reached out either. I know my ex is the type to be angry over someone not contacting him, rather than understand why.
Nicoleiia Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Hearing nothing is sometimes better than receiving breadcrumbs. My ex sent me so many breadcrumbs I had to change my number. Silence is golden. Plus, just because you don't hear from your ex DOES NOT mean they are not thinking of you. I've dumped people and still thought about them from time to time.
lindsay1990 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 No, you did the right thing. I "fought" for mine and the only thing I got was losing my dignity. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but as others say you are actually lucky because, at least for me, when I received bread crumbs it was like getting broken up with all over again, like my ex was insisting on the break up being the right thing to do. Could have done without that extra sting. 2
Exitleft Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I heard from my ex about 6 weeks after we ended and she continued to contact me for about as long after, the last contact was 2 weeks ago. I have not responded to her once even though it has killed me to ignore her contact. The truth is for me, I know it would undo everything and hurt me even more than I am and because I am so hurt I couldn't possibly stand any more, so that is why I haven't reached out personally. Sometimes it's a blessing. The contact, you want it just to know they still are thinking of you and you get it and it hurts like hell and you over analyse it for days after, so maybe it's a good thing you both have honoured the decision. I do know how you feel and I am sorry for that. I hope you feel better soon.
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