New guy I'm dating makes me so nervous. How do I calm the eff down?!

[Amethystic]

I've been dating this guy for guy for a few weeks. He's really sweet to me, has taken me out on some fantastic dates, and he seems really into me. On top of that, he's hands down the most handsome man I've ever dated, by far.

 

Okay, handsome is an understatement, because this guy won the genetic lottery. I hesitate to call anyone "perfect," but I have yet to find a physical flaw on him. He is a living Adonis, and I'm fiercely attracted to him. I don't even want kids, but I'd happily bear his children

 

The problem is, whenever I'm around him, I'm SO NERVOUS. This is totally out of my character. Usually, I'm completely at ease with guys. But with him, my words get mixed up and I can't stop fidgeting. I'm awkward, knock things over, and generally embarrass myself. Even drinking doesn't calm my nerves around him! On our first date, he asked me if I was nervous (I thought I was hiding it pretty well). I lied and said I had too many red bulls that day.

 

How do I just relax and stop being so intimidated by his good looks? Should I stop (unsuccessfully) trying to cover my nervousness and fess up? I keep telling myself "he's just human," but as soon as I see his gorgeous brown eyes and he sweeps me into his arms for a kiss, I turn into a breathless, quivering pile of clumsy jitters. Help!

[Keenly]

I've been dating this guy for guy for a few weeks. He's really sweet to me, has taken me out on some fantastic dates, and he seems really into me. On top of that, he's hands down the most handsome man I've ever dated, by far.

 

Okay, handsome is an understatement, because this guy won the genetic lottery. I hesitate to call anyone "perfect," but I have yet to find a physical flaw on him. He is a living Adonis, and I'm fiercely attracted to him. I don't even want kids, but I'd happily bear his children

 

The problem is, whenever I'm around him, I'm SO NERVOUS. This is totally out of my character. Usually, I'm completely at ease with guys. But with him, my words get mixed up and I can't stop fidgeting. I'm awkward, knock things over, and generally embarrass myself. Even drinking doesn't calm my nerves around him! On our first date, he asked me if I was nervous (I thought I was hiding it pretty well). I lied and said I had too many red bulls that day.

 

How do I just relax and stop being so intimidated by his good looks? Should I stop (unsuccessfully) trying to cover my nervousness and fess up? I keep telling myself "he's just human," but as soon as I see his gorgeous brown eyes and he sweeps me into his arms for a kiss, I turn into a breathless, quivering pile of clumsy jitters. Help!

 

That's really adorable. Im sorry that I don't have any advice for you, but I can say that as a guy , if I can tell she is nervous, I'm flattered.

 

 

There is nothing wrong with being nervous, and I've never heard of it being a turn off, but all I can say is time will make that go down a little

[Kizza]

I am just like this when I am fiercely attracted to a guy. I am an absolute idiot. I can't just calm down and act myself. I hang out with guys all the time, I have loads of guy friends and I am confident and witty and amazing but then when I meet one I really like I am a total tit! This results in nearly all guys I am not attracted to wanting more and the ones I want run away.

 

I have not yet mastered this affliction

[Lisa_Lisa]

Yikes. I do think being nervous around someone is flattering and the more you date him the less nervous you will become. Try to relax and picture him as an ugly guy ). The last guy I dated was an Adonis, too. He had beautiful hands and feet as well so in that aspect I can relate. Remember you are a beautiful woman and any man (even a man as hot as him) should feel privileged to be in your company. Good luck with him.

[movingalongnicely]

i'm so happy I work for a company where I work with models and gorgeous women everyday. not because i want a shot at them, but because it helps me not be nervous when I talk to gorgeous women i'm actually interested in.

[MrCastle]

Says more about you than him.

 

I admit I used to get intimidated by good looks, but after building confidence -- when I'm with a highly attractive female with a great personality my feeling is "well, yeah."

 

Veteran sports players tell their rookie teammates to "act like you've been here before" when it comes to the playoffs and that's basically my take on dating.

 

I don't feel lucky or act like I've won the lottery when I'm around beautiful women, I expect it.

 

You have to tell yourself that you're dating this guy because there's no one better than you. Anyone he dates besides you is a downgrade.

 

Don't shrink in the moment. Act like you deserve to be there.

[Amethystic]

Veteran sports players tell their rookie teammates to "act like you've been here before" when it comes to the playoffs and that's basically my take on dating.

 

I think that's my problem. This is the first time I've ever dated in my life. I've always been the type to go for personality and compatibility over looks, and consequently, the majority of guys I've dated, while attractive, haven't been "OMG hot" like this one.

 

And I'm not sitting there thinking "he's so hot, what is he doing with me" etc. I know I'm a catch, for reasons that transcend physical appearance. That said, I'm pretty attractive And when I interact with good looking men outside of a dating context, I never get nervous.

 

I guess I'll just have to get used to him soon, and stop acting like a fool... it's embarrassing! But hopefully he thinks it's cute like Keenly says

[MrCastle]

I think that's my problem. This is the first time I've ever dated in my life. I've always been the type to go for personality and compatibility over looks, and consequently, the majority of guys I've dated, while attractive, haven't been "OMG hot" like this one.

 

And I'm not sitting there thinking "he's so hot, what is he doing with me" etc. I know I'm a catch, for reasons that transcend physical appearance. That said, I'm pretty attractive And when I interact with good looking men outside of a dating context, I never get nervous.

 

I guess I'll just have to get used to him soon, and stop acting like a fool... it's embarrassing! But hopefully he thinks it's cute like Keenly says

 

It is cute, in the beginning. But leads to insecurity in the long term. If you guys get serious, if you're not over this situation, you may very well start thinking that he's cheating or that he'll leave you, etc.

 

And not for nothing, but compatibility and personality are better things to look for in a mate than looks. If something meaningful and/or long term is what you're looking for.

[ana0pera]

I get nervous around hot guys who are acquaintances or ones I have crushes on, but once I know a hot guy is into me, the nervousness goes away. Maybe because I can sense that they're nervous too, I don't know.

 

The best advice i can give you is to remember that he's into you too so turn that nervous energy into excitement that you're doing ____ with a fun, intelligent, totally hot guy! Enjoy the moment and don't "look" for imperfections, I'm sure you will find one (or a quirk) when you least expect it.

[Amethystic]

It is cute, in the beginning. But leads to insecurity in the long term.

 

Given the context, that statement makes absolutely no sense.

 

If you guys get serious, if you're not over this situation, you may very well start thinking that he's cheating or that he'll leave you, etc.

 

I think you're mistaking the physical reactions I've described as insecurity. When I get nervous around him, it comes from a primal place. I get flushed, my hands sweat, and I stumble over my words. I'm not sitting there thinking "he's so pretty, I don't deserve him." Hell, I'm not really thinking at all. It's a lot less psychological and more physiological.

 

And not for nothing, but compatibility and personality are better things to look for in a mate than looks. If something meaningful and/or long term is what you're looking for.

 

Goes without saying.

[Amethystic]

Enjoy the moment and don't "look" for imperfections, I'm sure you will find one (or a quirk) when you least expect it.

 

Lol... true. I was holding his hand and noticed he had callouses from lifting weights. I hope he doesn't start wearing gloves

[emva07]

just relax, be yourself as you would be with a friend. As gorgeous as he is, you shouldn't feel he's above you in any way.

[MrCastle]

Given the context, that statement makes absolutely no sense.

 

Neither does this

 

I think that's my problem. This is the first time I've ever dated in my life. I've always been the type to go for personality and compatibility over looks, and consequently, the majority of guys I've dated, while attractive, haven't been "OMG hot" like this one.[/Quote]

 

I think you're mistaking the physical reactions I've described as insecurity. When I get nervous around him, it comes from a primal place. I get flushed, my hands sweat, and I stumble over my words. I'm not sitting there thinking "he's so pretty, I don't deserve him." Hell, I'm not really thinking at all. It's a lot less psychological and more physiological.[/Quote]

 

Fair enough. I'm finding it hard to picture you being this flustered because of how attractive he is if you felt you were as attractive as he, but whatever. You say it's not insecurity and I don't know you so we'll go with that. You're not insecure. Still though, it's cute in the beginning and gets old later on down the road.

 

I assume though that eventually you will get used to him physically and calm down.

[StanMusial]

Not to worry. In no time, the nervousness will be replaced by frustration and aggravation, and you will be posting some interesting stories on the forum.

[Amethystic]

Not to worry. In no time, the nervousness will be replaced by frustration and aggravation, and you will be posting some interesting stories on the forum.

 

Lol, thanks for the vote of confidence.