headinthecloud Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I've shared bits and pieces of my story before but not the whole thing. But one of my fears just became reality and I'm having a hard time understanding why people are so cruel. Here's my story. (brace yourself - it's long). A friend of mine (let's called her Jen) set me up with her best friend (whom we'll call Kevin). Kevin was everything I stayed away from, he had all the tell tale signs of a player, but I trusted Jen so when she said he was the best and that we should date I dove head first into a relationship with him (...and yes, that was my first mistake when looking back). Kevin and I hit it off. He was thoughtful, compassionate and everything opposite to what I thought. We grew close quickly. Then 2 months later the ball dropped. Jen dumped me - just like that. A text telling me we are no longer friends. 10yrs. Gone. I was crushed. And worse off, she was talking to Kevin about me the whole time. Kevin didn't know what to do. He started to distance himself from me because Jen means the world to him, but he really wanted to see where things would go with me. He was there for me but made it clear he didn't want to get involved. So there I was, heart broken at the hands of a dear friend and in a new relationship who couldn't understand my pain and I couldn't share my pain because he couldn't support me. Literally, a rock and 'heart'-place. Things with Kevin started to change. The more he distanced, the more I clinged. I wasn't myself. And he would share details about Jen and him (hangout type of stories) which made it harder for me to get over the broken friendship. I thought perhaps he was in love with Jen at one point and asked him outright (we had been dating about 4mos at this point). He blatantly denied it and said he probably could never be with her because he knew too much about her. He was a little defensive about it. After 2 more month of incompatibility, my neediness and repeatedly breaking up with him (...terrible, I know, but I just didnt know how to fight without ending things) we finally ended things for good - I was excessively needy and he was done. I knew it was for the best. I went NC right away. He promised to send me my key but never did so I contacted him after 4wks and he confirmed he would send it. Even today, 2 mos after breaking NC, no key. Nothing from him. Not a drunk text or an email or a call. Nada. And I'm now starting to heal and accept the failed relationship and am finally starting to get over the broken friendship. 2 heartbreaks in 4mos. Here's the clencher - Jen and Kevin are dating...and in love! I just found out through a mutual friend. It makes me wonder if Jen dumped me because she realized she loved Kevin and was jealous. Either way it hurts. I'm not quite sure how I feel. Was I caught in a Bermuda triangle of sorts? Thanks for reading. I always appreciate the great advice and support of all of you.
coolheadal Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Your in THE NOW! You need to move on and look for new friends you can trust and someone you would like to share your time with too in a better relationship. Take a brave new step and get away from them both them and do the NC (NO CONTACT). Also do change the locks and forget about that key you'll never get it back. 1
Recommended Posts