melell Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I am 3.5 months post breakup, I am 25, (8years together) and have moved on tremendously over this time. The reminders don't spark emotion in me at all. I haven't cried for almost 2 months. And I am actually ok with just being me. I have work, I have grad school, my sister moved into my home once he left so it has been great in that respect. BUT... I have absolutely no desire for a social life, I hate leaving the house, period. AND...Every morning when I wake up I think about the past. It is automatic. I spend at least 6 hours a day doing nothing but think about him and us. It doesn't strike me emotionally at all anymore, but the thoughts are continuing. I have been in NC for 2 months, bar 2 texts (no fb, no anything, so I really know nothing about his life now). One thing set me back, people were looking for him to repossess his car, they contacted me and said he had moved on from his last address and where can they find him. So now the thoughts are wondering where he is living, is he still in my city, is he still in the country, is he living with another girl already. Any advice is appreciated I am doing my best, but could do with some help. 1
JDPT Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 The thoughts will persists for now, that's something inevitable. However, you have the power with determination to reroute them. Something so mundane or perhaps a trigger that once you analyze is irrelevant to your past can indeed memories of your past relationship. Find a phrase that will assist you in moving forward it doesn't have to be long but something that you can substitute those detrimental thoughts with. As soon as a thought pops in your hand as inadvertent as it may be say this phrase to yourself over and over. You must train your brain new healthier ways and acknowledge that wallowing over the past is utterly harmful to your mental and emotional state. This is something you must do on a daily basis. You may find yourself doing a million times and if that's how many times it takes so be it, train your brain to override your current throughs and feelings. 1
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