Disgusted with what I found on boyfriends phone

September 30, 2013

Why the hell would i make something like this up? Im no sicko. I chose to post here cause i was unsure how to bring it up or what to say and very worried. I can post whatever i want when ever i want on this forum thank you very much.
Dont know what you would need to hear from my boyfriend? I seen downloaded porn pictures of girls who look like they could be as young as 12... theres no two sides to that. That is a fact he cant dismiss. And please note, i never once said they ARE 100% that young, i said it does appear some are and that worries the **** out of me.... am i not meant to be worried by this?????? And as i continue to say even if they were legal(which im unsure of) it still botheres me hes doing that over girls who look so young!!

They are not magazine shots.

You can absolute post anything here, but you are not going to get the same answers from the mouth of your boyfriend, because we are not your boyfriend. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Those who post here are just OPINIONS. They are NOT FACTS unless substantiated with factual evidence like a photograph of those girls. It's all speculation at this point. Now; if you were to post those photos or have a link somewhere for us to look at then it would change things. However this might violate some privacy acts.

I would however strongly suggest you talk to your boyfriend about this because I personally don't think you should ignore this if you feel strongly about it. However, you had already made a solid determination that what you think of his photos are facts; they are underage kids. You made that determination and you already said he can't dismiss this. To me, it already seemed like you have a personal vendetta against him. And yet, you claimed you trust him and love him.. Remember that he might think that those photos where of legal age girls and yet they may not.

A woman who trusts and loves a man ALWAYS gives the man the benefit of the doubt FIRST. You on the other hand seemed to have made him guilty of the fact. This is your right btw but seemed to run contrary to your many statements about where you stand in terms of trust and love.

Consider that if this is his addiction to some kind of fetish porn then, you are not in a situation to help him. You need a professional health care person to help him, interview him and put him under observation. They are the ones who can determine if he has an illness or not. Otherwise, all you are doing here is being concerned about something that may turn out to be nothing. If a professional health care person told you he is fine; will you still trust him? That's what a loving relationship is all about -- loving him and ALL HIS FLAWS. It's because the longer you are with a person the more dirty laundry comes out.

So.. You want us to justify your decision to dump him? I guess I have nothing to say at this point.

Edited September 30, 2013 by happydate

September 30, 2013

I know the diffetent between a 13 year old and a 19 year old girls body, after all i was once that age.

Well we all have our ideas of what would constitute the difference between a 13 and 19 year old. However, not everyone looks the same. Looking to hollywood to get an idea of this, lets look at Ellen Page:

http://cdn02.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/page-whip/ellen-page-whip-it-03.jpg

She looks like a girl in her young teens ,but she was in her early 20s in that picture. Is it disgusting or okay to be attracted to her?

September 30, 2013

Viewing and/or storing child pornography is a crime.

That's a fact.

That's true. But it doesn't change my view regarding whether she should call the police.

September 30, 2013

You're in a tough spot now. What you found, grossed you out and disgusted you, enough to turn you off of him. So, now isn't the time to end it with him as you say there are big things going on, but that does mean you're considering ending it with him once life settles down a bit?

This is a huge issue and you have to talk to him! I mean, worse case senario (even if he is unaware and it was not intentional) he could get busted for downloading from that site. It really could ruin his life so DO talk to him immediately! This isn't just about how you feel about it, it's so much more.

September 30, 2013

You can absolute post anything here, but you are not going to get the same answers from the mouth of your boyfriend, because we are not your boyfriend. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Those who post here are just OPINIONS. They are NOT FACTS unless substantiated with factual evidence like a photograph of those girls. It's all speculation at this point. Now; if you were to post those photos or have a link somewhere for us to look at then it would change things. However this might violate some privacy acts.

I would however strongly suggest you talk to your boyfriend about this because I personally don't think you should ignore this if you feel strongly about it. However, you had already made a solid determination that what you think of his photos are facts; they are underage kids. You made that determination and you already said he can't dismiss this. To me, it already seemed like you have a personal vendetta against him. And yet, you claimed you trust him and love him.. Remember that he might think that those photos where of legal age girls and yet they may not.

A woman who trusts and loves a man ALWAYS gives the man the benefit of the doubt FIRST. You on the other hand seemed to have made him guilty of the fact. This is your right btw but seemed to run contrary to your many statements about where you stand in terms of trust and love.

Consider that if this is his addiction to some kind of fetish porn then, you are not in a situation to help him. You need a professional health care person to help him, interview him and put him under observation. They are the ones who can determine if he has an illness or not. Otherwise, all you are doing here is being concerned about something that may turn out to be nothing. If a professional health care person told you he is fine; will you still trust him? That's what a loving relationship is all about -- loving him and ALL HIS FLAWS. It's because the longer you are with a person the more dirty laundry comes out.

So.. You want us to justify your decision to dump him? I guess I have nothing to say at this point.

Thanks for the reply. I do understand all your points but some of what you are saying is wrong. Im not looking for people to justify dumping him(id like not to) im not looking for answers from yous i came here for advice and opinions. Its a very difficult conversation to have with him so some words of advice would of been nice. Im not flat out saying he was intentionally looking for young girls, and im not saying he didnt know they may not be legal(regardless of my opinion on them)l. Im just shocked so im sorry if it comes across that way. I absolutely do not have some kind of personal vendetta against him. I didnt expect this and never would. I have no trust issue with him at all. This to me isnt abput trust at all. And if i didnt trust him i would of packed my bags and left, not heard him out. Its just a difficult conversation to have. Still trying to find the words to say.

September 30, 2013

You're in a tough spot now. What you found, grossed you out and disgusted you, enough to turn you off of him. So, now isn't the time to end it with him as you say there are big things going on, but that does mean you're considering ending it with him once life settles down a bit?

This is a huge issue and you have to talk to him! I mean, worse case senario (even if he is unaware and it was not intentional) he could get busted for downloading from that site. It really could ruin his life so DO talk to him immediately! This isn't just about how you feel about it, it's so much more.

Hi sorry i was a bit vague about the "big things going on", its not something that can settle. Id like to say what im talking about but it may make it obvious who i am.

Iv also worried about him getting into trouble, it is something ill bring up. Thank you.

September 30, 2013

Because i will never defend ANYONE who has not just looked at, but downloaded porn pictures of girls who look as and could be as young as 12.

I never said the word pedophile. The poster gave their opinion and thats what i asked for, opinions and advice.

As for your example im sorry but how does that apply? Thats different to downloading porn pictures of girls who are or do look that young then playing with yourself. Im trying but struggling to understand your point.

You seem as if you are wrongly judging people all around you. Yours is the position that would be somebody sitting in a 2nd-year college class and deciding for no reason that the 19yo in the next row shouldn't have a right to be there because she "looks twelve"... that the person in the voting booth beside you shouldn't be allowed there, because she "looks twelve".

In the same way that you are not supposed to imagine that everybody wearing a Burqa in modern day America is a terrorist, you are only harming yourself in passing such unsubstantiated judgment on those all around you. If you are judging your so-called boyfriend in this way, there can't be much of a limit on how much judgment you're passing on all others.

It needs to be as clear as a bell to you that if your boyfriend is in fact downloading mainstream porn, depicting young adult women, then your issue is with your own insecurity. For as we all know, you previously stated: "Porns not an issue for me".

It doesn't matter what those images look like to you, it doesn't matter whether those subjects are wearing Burqa's, pajamas, or nothing at all* (*if indeed the models are 18 years of age).

If you can document definitively that any of these downloaded subjects are under age 18 (if in America) then first call the police, break-up immediately, and only after those are done, then come back and tell us the information you hadn't known when you made your first, unfair-to-your-boyfriend post.

Finally, while there is surely plenty of illegal, underage porn out there... it is highly improbable that such porn consists in large part of "selfies", which is how you described the photos in your initial post.

September 30, 2013

You seem as if you are wrongly judging people all around you. Yours is the position that would be somebody sitting in a 2nd-year college class and deciding for no reason that the 19yo in the next row shouldn't have a right to be there because she "looks twelve"... that the person in the voting booth beside you shouldn't be allowed there, because she "looks twelve".

In the same way that you are not supposed to imagine that everybody wearing a Burqa in modern day America is a terrorist, you are only harming yourself in passing such unsubstantiated judgment on those all around you. If you are judging your so-called boyfriend in this way, there can't be much of a limit on how much judgment you're passing on all others.

It needs to be as clear as a bell to you that if your boyfriend is in fact downloading mainstream porn, depicting young adult women, then your issue is with your own insecurity. For as we all know, you previously stated: "Porns not an issue for me".

It doesn't matter what those images look like to you, it doesn't matter whether those subjects are wearing Burqa's, pajamas, or nothing at all* (*if indeed the models are 18 years of age).

If you can document definitively that any of these downloaded subjects are under age 18 (if in America) then first call the police, break-up immediately, and only after those are done, then come back and tell us the information you hadn't known when you made your first, unfair-to-your-boyfriend post.

Finally, while there is surely plenty of illegal, underage porn out there... it is highly improbable that such porn consists in large part of "selfies", which is how you described the photos in your initial post.

You're getting awfully worked up defending a guy who likes to look at pics of what at least appears to be nekkid seventh graders.

September 30, 2013

You're getting awfully worked up defending a guy who likes to look at pics of what at least appears to be nekkid seventh graders.

I actually think it is pretty odd that all these guys got on this thread to defend him. Of course, some of them defend porn use no matter what, so it isn't surprising.

Only the OP knows what these photos look like, so there isn't much point in defending him when you don't know what you are defending.

Whether he's a pedophile or not isn't even the point. The point is that the photos changed the way she views her boyfriend, and she's trying to figure out what she should do about that.

OP - I think you need to trust your instincts on this one. You were disgusted and repulsed looking at the photos, and there's a reason for that. It's up to you whether you want to talk to your boyfriend and try to get past this or not, but what you found, if the girls do indeed look 12 years old, would be enough of a reason for me to end it.

October 1, 2013

So what is the update? Have you confronted him yet OP?

October 1, 2013

I actually think it is pretty odd that all these guys got on this thread to defend him. Of course, some of them defend porn use no matter what, so it isn't surprising.

Only the OP knows what these photos look like, so there isn't much point in defending him when you don't know what you are defending.

Whether he's a pedophile or not isn't even the point. The point is that the photos changed the way she views her boyfriend, and she's trying to figure out what she should do about that.

OP - I think you need to trust your instincts on this one. You were disgusted and repulsed looking at the photos, and there's a reason for that. It's up to you whether you want to talk to your boyfriend and try to get past this or not, but what you found, if the girls do indeed look 12 years old, would be enough of a reason for me to end it.

There is nobody here defending him, as we don't even know him. Our sole representation of him lies in the words of the OP.

Now there is probably nobody (else, besides the OP) here who truly believes the women pictured in the guy's porn collection to be underage.

Given that, and the fact that the OP claims that "Porns not an issue for (her)", one can only perceive that it is her own personal insecurity which inspired her post in the first place.

Porn websites are generally thriving, unlike so many other businesses during recent times, and given that they want to stay within the bounds of legality, in order to continue to thrive, they do in vast majority have paperwork to establish the legal age of those who model there.

If indeed this guy has a pipeline to some clandestine site where 14yo's go to post nude "selfies" then it is a good guess that such a website would be well-traveled enough so as not to be the huge secret which is implied by all of the OP's offering.

October 1, 2013

My boyfriend looks at porn pictures on his phone on a social media/picture sharing website(hes not a member) the pictures are mostly selfies that other people put on.

She seemingly knows enough to know that he's not a member OF said website, yet she hasn't named this mysterious website which is supposedly so flush with underage nude selfies.

If she were truly responsible in the gallant context some are trying to suggest, she would expose this terrible website at once in order so that the law would sweep in and shut it down and imprison for centuries anybody who as much as ever clicked on its links or typed its name into any address bar. (or perhaps she feels only "members" should be targeted by the law in this case?)

October 1, 2013

There is nobody here defending him, as we don't even know him. Our sole representation of him lies in the words of the OP.

Now there is probably nobody (else, besides the OP) here who truly believes the women pictured in the guy's porn collection to be underage.

Given that, and the fact that the OP claims that "Porns not an issue for (her)", one can only perceive that it is her own personal insecurity which inspired her post in the first place.

Porn websites are generally thriving, unlike so many other businesses during recent times, and given that they want to stay within the bounds of legality, in order to continue to thrive, they do in vast majority have paperwork to establish the legal age of those who model there.

If indeed this guy has a pipeline to some clandestine site where 14yo's go to post nude "selfies" then it is a good guess that such a website would be well-traveled enough so as not to be the huge secret which is implied by all of the OP's offering.

Im not insecure. My only insecurity right now is that my boyfriend is downloading pictures of girls who may well be underage.

It is not a registered porn site. Its not even a porn site, its a page of this website where people post their own porn pictures. I am not naming the website.

I dont think you actually understand my thread, your posts have little to do with the topic and all youve done is try to blame me. I thank you for your imput but i will be ignoring any future posts of yours that have nothing to do with this.

The page isnt just pictures that look like underage girls. But its those pictures he had recently downloaded.

Edited October 1, 2013 by Midnight_Princess

October 1, 2013

Run away he likes little girls...

October 1, 2013

If indeed this guy has a pipeline to some clandestine site where 14yo's go to post nude "selfies" then it is a good guess that such a website would be well-traveled enough so as not to be the huge secret which is implied by all of the OP's offering.

People can put pics of themselfs, but most arent from the actual person in the pic. Example an ex may put up a picture the girl sent him.

October 1, 2013

I personally find it EXTREMELY unlikely that these girls are underage.

There are so many different body types in this world that there's no way someone can say "oh, I know the difference between a 12 year old body and a 19 year old body". Sure, you know your OWN body and the bodies you saw of people close to you while growing up, but there are always exceptions to body types.

Like I said, EXTREMELY unlikely that they are underage.

The important thing here is that you need to discuss your concerns about it with your boyfriend.

October 1, 2013

I personally find it EXTREMELY unlikely that these girls are underage.

There are so many different body types in this world that there's no way someone can say "oh, I know the difference between a 12 year old body and a 19 year old body". Sure, you know your OWN body and the bodies you saw of people close to you while growing up, but there are always exceptions to body types.

Like I said, EXTREMELY unlikely that they are underage.

The important thing here is that you need to discuss your concerns about it with your boyfriend.

I never said they were, but they could be. Still i do hope your right. Theres no way to know for sure i guess.

Even so, as iv said i also do have issues with him being turned on by someone who at the least definetly looks so young.

Thank you Phoe for your reply.

October 1, 2013

I never said they were, but they could be. Still i do hope your right. Theres no way to know for sure i guess.

Even so, as iv said i also do have issues with him being turned on by someone who at the least definetly looks so young.
Thank you Phoe for your reply.

I hope so too, I'm pretty optimistic that they aren't. I know I can't transfer that optimism over the internet to you, but a reassuring opinion might at least ease your mind.

October 1, 2013

I hope so too, I'm pretty optimistic that they aren't. I know I can't transfer that optimism over the internet to you, but a reassuring opinion might at least ease your mind.

Im trying my hardest not to think the worst, it was shocking to see though. Im positive he wouldnt of been intentionally looking for pictures of girls so young, but still he had downloaded them. I have major reasons to take this very seriously(even if they just looked so young) which ill only disclose thought pm.

I should add as i dont think iv made this very clear, his downloads arent just of girls who look so young, i didnt look very far back but from what i seen it seemed like it was just the most recent bunch who are/look so young. The rest are definetly 18+, this bunch was just very different.

October 1, 2013

I dont think you actually understand my thread, your posts have little to do with the topic and all youve done is try to blame me.

The topic, such as it has evolved, has become you not understanding your boyfriend.

A guy who is dating a woman in her 20's/30's is not that far off the mark when he is viewing photos of teens beyond the age of consent. It doesn't matter whether these people are black, Hispanic, Indian, or Martian. The rest is you judging them based on their looks while at the same time feeling somehow inferior or not good enough, as you perceive your boyfriend to view you.

You've not even stated clearly that these pictures are nudes!

Miley Cyrus could be said to have engaged in "pornography" during her little stint on stage recently... and while Miley is a lot of things, she wasn't nude at the time.

We're trying to understand, and discern what the real issue is here... but you keep judging the women in the mentioned pictures, as well as everybody else.

If these women were age 40 and older, would you be allowing yourself to then feel inferior or concerned that your boyfriend likes'em much older than you are?

He's with you... and you don't hint at any other issues, and while it is darn tough to stand there, with ONE appearance, and be content, while your mind wants you to think that any little hint of some other look is what your BF wants... the latter part just isn't true!

Men love details, and the best way to cause oneself to be drawn to his girlfriend's specifics is to know of some contrast out there in the world.

Somebody on a thread I read today wrote that "if porn was all photos of one's own girlfriend, nobody would really be so taken by it".

(sigh) We don't even know whether your body type is anything near to those which have you perceiving the pictured women to be underage. But if you have big, voluptuous DDD cups, then you couldn't really expect your BF to roam the internet day after day in search of breasts just like yours.

Edited October 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

October 1, 2013

Could the dudes quit angling for the website and/or copies of the photos in this thread?! :sick: FFS.

Having nieces around 12 yrs of age, I've never met one of their friends or anything who looks LEGAL. It's not just whether or not someone has boobs or doesn't have boobs. An 18 yr old without boobs still has a more mature face than a freaking 12 year old. I don't know what planet some of you are living on where you are confusing pre-teens with 18 yr olds. I think you haven't met many 12 year olds and are going by movies or TV or something.

Regardless if the girls are legal or not, I'd be disgusted by my man saving pre-teen looking porn pics

October 1, 2013

I personally find it EXTREMELY unlikely that these girls are underage.

There are so many different body types in this world that there's no way someone can say "oh, I know the difference between a 12 year old body and a 19 year old body". Sure, you know your OWN body and the bodies you saw of people close to you while growing up, but there are always exceptions to body types.

Like I said, EXTREMELY unlikely that they are underage.

The important thing here is that you need to discuss your concerns about it with your boyfriend.

Given how sexualized and attention whorey girls are at younger and younger ages now I wouldn't be surprised ONE bit if underage girls were posting nudes online. I think THAT is more likely than a gaggle of 19 yr olds who legit look like they are 12 to the point where someone would be concerned.

October 1, 2013

The topic, such as it has evolved, has become you not understanding your boyfriend.

A guy who is dating a woman in her early 20's is not that far off the mark when he is viewing photos of teens beyond the age of consent. It doesn't matter whether these people are black, Hispanic, Indian, or Martian. The rest is you judging them based on their looks while at the same time feeling somehow inferior or not good enough, as you perceive your boyfriend to view you.

You've not even stated clearly that these pictures are nudes!

Miley Cyrus could be said to have engaged in "pornography" during her little stint on stage recently... and while Miley is a lot of things, she wasn't nude at the time.

We're trying to understand, and discern what the real issue is here... but you keep judging the women in the mentioned pictures, as well as everybody else.

If these women were age 40 and older, would you be allowing yourself to then feel inferior or concerned that your boyfriend likes'em much older than you are?

He's with you... and you don't hint at any other issues, and while it is darn tough to stand there, with ONE appearance, and be content, while your mind wants you to think that any little hint of some other look is what your BF wants... the latter part just isn't true!

Men love details, and the best way to cause oneself to be drawn to his girlfriend's specifics is to know of some contrast out there in the world.

Somebody on a thread I read today wrote that "if porn was all photos of one's own girlfriend, nobody would really be so taken by it".

(sigh) We don't even know whether your body type is anything near to those which have you perceiving the pictured women to be underage. But if you have big, voluptuous DDD cups, then you couldn't really expect your BF to roam the internet day after day in search of breasts just like yours.

I said that in this thread!!! Learn to read. I wouldnt care if it was older or younger women, fat or thin, i care that they may be underage!! I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH PORN!! I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ILLEGAL PORN!! Ffs how many times must i say it.. Your posts are pointless! And you clearly have not read the whole thread and understood the point! How many times do i need to correct you?

Of course they were naked, it was PORN!

October 1, 2013

Could the dudes quit angling for the website and/or copies of the photos in this thread?! :sick: FFS.

Having nieces around 12 yrs of age, I've never met one of their friends or anything who looks LEGAL. It's not just whether or not someone has boobs or doesn't have boobs. An 18 yr old without boobs still has a more mature face than a freaking 12 year old. I don't know what planet some of you are living on where you are confusing pre-teens with 18 yr olds. I think you haven't met many 12 year olds and are going by movies or TV or something.

Regardless if the girls are legal or not, I'd be disgusted by my man saving pre-teen looking porn pics

Thanks veggirl for your reply. Thats how i feel and im not sure how to go from here.

October 2, 2013

Thanks veggirl for your reply. Thats how i feel and im not sure how to go from here.

I may have missed it in the thread (too busy being disgusted by the guys "subtlely" trying to get copies of the pics and/or a url), but does he know you saw this yet?

Edited October 2, 2013 by veggirl

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Disgusted with what I found on boyfriends phone

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