tiernan Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I told my xmm to come to me after he lives on his own and has signed the divorce papers as a reply to his frantic begging to talk him back. He agreed happily that I replied at all after of NC of 3 weeks on my part and promised he will do as I ask. Since then he is sending me e-mails every day saying how much he loves me and that he will come to me. I don't reply and stay NC. Is it really NC then when each day I am reminded of him, cam I really heal? or should I write to him again reminding him that I wanted no contact until he is divorced? Why is he doing this?
whatatangledweb Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) You can't heal like that. He is writing to stay in contact with you and maybe to go ahead and start it back up now. I would write him again. Then I would block his emails. Honestly I think you need to stay away from him. He already had a one night stand while with you. I wouldn't trust him. Edited September 27, 2013 by whatatangledweb 1
Goodbye Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I told my xmm to come to me after he lives on his own and has signed the divorce papers as a reply to his frantic begging to talk him back. He agreed happily that I replied at all after of NC of 3 weeks on my part and promised he will do as I ask. Since then he is sending me e-mails every day saying how much he loves me and that he will come to me. I don't reply and stay NC. Is it really NC then when each day I am reminded of him, cam I really heal? or should I write to him again reminding him that I wanted no contact until he is divorced? Why is he doing this? All you can do is hold up your end, but no, it isn't really no contact. I had/have a similar situation. Ended things in the spring and went NC without anything specified. He started breaking NC during the summer, so I contacted him and told him not to contact me in ANY way until he is divorced. He called me a bunch of times begging and I decided he could call me on Sept 17, 2014 and tell me the status of his life. He then called me on Sept 17, 2013 to tell me how much he loves me, misses me, how I don't understand how hard it is for him, how i'm his real wife, lol...etc. etc. At that point I told him I was going to call his wife if I heard from him again as a married man. He's been "gone" a week now. His parting words were asking me to "wait" for him. You can see from my thread on dating, I'm not planning on doing so (waiting that is). Ok...sorry. I've had too much coffee. NC in its truest form is just that...NO contact. That may require blocking numbers, changing numbers...sometimes it even involves the police! I say pick the level that allows you to move on...to think about him LESS, to heal. Good luck. 3
Cali408 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 He had a one night stand while with you? It's over Tiernan, can you really trust him? Do this, if it's a personal email, close it out and get a new one. That way you aren't reminded. Don't reply back to him to leave you alone. Answering only provides the attention he craves. Or block his email address. Real men telephone.
hollyhillcourt Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Stay NC. That's where the power is. He is reaching out for validation, that is what mine does. Let him show you by doing what you have asked as a demonstration of his devotion. I know it is hard but..... 2
trailrunner1975 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Enforce NC on your end and learn to love the delete button. My NC went the same way yours is going but I wasn't changing any number or email just because of her occasional attempt to reach out and test the waters. Besides, there is a certain satisfaction in using the delete button on an unread message. The last attempt was two months ago and the time between attempts is growing exponentially
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