kgal Posted November 27, 2004 Posted November 27, 2004 I haven't heard from him in 3 months. It's hard sometimes and I'll just miss him so bad. I almost feel like I'm going to cry and never be able to stop. I just thank God that He gives me the strength to get by each day. I just keep praying he'll talk to me. Anyone else feel the same way about your ex? What do you do to cope?
EnglishChick Posted November 27, 2004 Posted November 27, 2004 [color=blue][/color][font=arial][/font] I feel exactly the same about my ex, we broke up 3 months ago and I haven't spoken to him since just after that although he emailed a few weeks ago saying he'd call but he hasn't! I think about it every day and I miss him so much, the weekdays aren't that bad because I can concentrate on work but weekends are awful. I have to make sure I have things with friends planned or I start obsessing and depress myself. You aren't on your own and I'm sure it must get better....I hope! My advice is that when you find yourself thinking about it go out, go for a drive, go out with a friend just do anything to take your mind off it. It's not rocket science but it helps. Take care and hope you feel better soon x
Author kgal Posted November 29, 2004 Author Posted November 29, 2004 Thanks...its sortof a good feeling to know I'm not the only one. I know things will get better. Thank you.
mischafan160 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I'm right there with you both. My ex claimed still cared about me and still wanted to be close friends, yet I rarely hear from him and it hurts to know I'm not THE special person in his life anymore, the person he talks to about everything. I have no idea what is going on in his life right now and haven't heard from him in over a week. I wonder if being friends is really going to work out, when I still love him.
Author kgal Posted November 29, 2004 Author Posted November 29, 2004 It's hard... and I was just about to write an email to him to tell him how I feel. I don't know if I will now. I want to so bad. Im starting a new job tomorrow and I cant sleep cuz Im up missing him and crying over this. Its so hard for me still. I feel like he'll get angry if I write. I wrote like 3 weeks ago. Just something short and sweet. I keep thinking.. what kind of guy is he is doesnt take sympathy to how Im coping?!?! I just want answers.. closure.. I want to be fully happy again.. and I don't think I can until I tell him what this has been doing to me.
EnglishChick Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Kgal, I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm not asking much! All I want is closure so I can move on with my life, it hasn't even been said that we're totally over! The best bit is we're supposed to be working on our communication and I haven't heard from in about a month! We haven't SPOKEN for three! I'm just doing my best to be nice and calm before I kick him in the balls (if he still has any because he's acting like he doesn't). I'm going out with some friends for a night of drinking and them trying to set me up with weird looking men...and I'm going to enjoy every moment of it. I need a good night out were I can get dressed up and do my hair nice. I'm not going to think about him at all....well I'm going to try....and I'm not going to phone him either! Rachel x
EnglishChick Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Oh and does anybody else feel like they just really want to hurt them? Physically by kicking them in the balls or emotionally by sending pictures of themselves draped over attractive men? Or is that just me?!
greenhorn Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 its pretty strange that the other person does not realises that how much pain we have to suffer.No a single moment of compassion comes for the person who was at one time the only person and now no one.How can be someone so cruel. I just take those pills to numb my brain it doesnt help either keeps you calm for an hour and then again and the last resort it to take a high power sleeping pill which will keep u sleep the whole night.But how long can this go. is there any way to cut the heart which wails so much and throw it out so to get rid of pain. Why doesnt the other person take pity
mischafan160 Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 I'm so comforted that there are other people feeling the exact same thing I am.
EnglishChick Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Originally posted by mischafan160 I'm so comforted that there are other people feeling the exact same thing I am. Do you mean about causing them pain? Please say yes because otherwise I look psychotic
mischafan160 Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Oh yes. I'd rather see his dick chopped off and at the side of a road, than in some other girl. Sorry that was kind of graphic. But I hope it reassured you that you are not alone.
seductress989 Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Hey EnglishChick: Here's my story: I dumped my ex 6 months ago. ( we've remained friends somewhat) I seen him 2 weeks ago and he told me he wasn't seeing anyone. I passed his apt. today and seen a girl's car there and no lights on. He really is a pathetic excuse for a man. I was honest w/him the entire time after we'd broke up. I told him that I was dating, but he obviously didn't have the balls to tell me. I would love to slap him in the face and destroy everything I bought him including his flat-screen TV and furniture. So no one here is psychotic for wanting to physically hurt their ex. I can totally relate to you guys on that. Glad I could rant on it actually. Thanks for posting on this subject. Aah, I feel better now.
EnglishChick Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Originally posted by seductress989 I passed his apt. today and seen a girl's car there and no lights on. He really is a pathetic excuse for a man. I was honest w/him the entire time after we'd broke up. I told him that I was dating, but he obviously didn't have the balls to tell me. How do you know it was a girl's car and it was visiting him? Couldn't they have been visiting one of his neighbours? Don't break the TV by the way, pawn it and spend it on going to a strip club or new clothes. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that wants to cause personal injury, the dick chopping off would be a fantastic idea, at least then he couldn't produce spawn that would go on to hurt other generations! If I saw it at the side of the road I'd have to run it over...if I could see it that is... >>Thinking calm, happy thoughts....calm....happy....<<
Jip Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 He he! English Chick... What a gal you are! In fact you've all made me laugh! Yeah so much for the lets stay friends if they never bother their arse to keep in touch - am starting to think it can't happen when I'm still in love with him anyway! Where do they get this ability to switch it all off and lock it away somewhere inside then run!! Yeah a good swift kick to his 'family jewels' would certainly make me feel better and as for that silly wee bint he's with now ( who I got jealous about before we split... funny that) I'm sure I could take her.. he he... Hell hath no fury and all that! You need closure m'dear - I had 3 weeks of him not speaking to me or wanting to see me, touch me etc before he made me end it against my will... it couldn't go on like that .... spineless coward! To be honest I thought in a week he'd realise his mistake - how wrong can I be! Think you should force his hand or walk away! Weekends are hard but it does get better -I used to spend all my time at his at weekends as he lived miles away... defo find something else to do! I've taken up Yoga and watching T4!! Sad but true!
greenhorn Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 sometimes doesn't this all makes us feel that it wud have been much better never to enter a relationship.Whats the use to have good times only to remember it later with bitterness.It would have been so nice if there was something so that we could rewind the time and then undo the things which causes so much of pain,hurt and bitterness.I bet the safest way to be happy is to never enter into any relationships. Admit when you dont have something you long for it, but to have it and then loose it is much more terrible. Imagine if our days were all alone wont it be better than being alone and remembering those days which then seemed to be blissful.Ignorance is really a bliss ,we all were ignorant what price we had to pay later for these moments of happiness. I have lost so much of trust in relationships that whenever i see any couple i say to myself that they are going to cry ,they might not be knowing it now but they are going to cry.The only relationship which you can always be sure of that it will be there is with ur parents otherwise all other are just psuedo. Love is the greatest folly one can commit and the only people who would always be true to you will be your parents. But to err is human so we love and get hurt.
EnglishChick Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Originally posted by Jip I used to spend all my time at his at weekends as he lived miles away... defo find something else to do! I've taken up Yoga and watching T4!! Sad but true! I think you might be my Scottish other half! I've taken up yoga too and thank God for T4 or I don't know what I'd do of a Sunday morning. Ahhh...nothing like a bit of Hollyoaks on a Sunday morn! You said he lived miles away...how far? If you don't mind me asking. My ex lives 3000 miles away. I'm in Liverpool he's in Boston so I can't watch anything American on TV right now which is difficult. Developed an aversion to the American accent. No offence to anyone here by the way, it's nothing personal. It's partly good that he lives so far away because I don't have to see him but bad too because I want to see him when he's out and make him jealous...oh and of course to cause some sort of injury.
seductress989 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 I am not entirely sure that it was a girl at his apartment, but I'm feeling close to 95% confident on it. Usually, my gut feelings serve me w/the truth although it is not always good. My family has also seen him riding around w/ some girl in his car. So I'd say my suspicions do me justice. I absolutely hate being lied to when I'm honest w/someone! That's why I'd like to get him busted for the illegal things going on in his apt. and forget the TV! That's even better along w/ one good, hard, paralyzing kick in the nuts! I'm not getting mad, I'm simply getting even! Lol! Thanks for the response EnglishChick. I really like your sense of humor!
Jip Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Originally posted by EnglishChick You said he lived miles away...how far?. Ok you win m'dear.... when I say miles I mean about 70 ish - he lived in the hills! Yeah I know what you mean about associations - I can't watch rugby anymore (he plays but appaently got a boot to the face at the weekend - Karma - I wonder) and we watched a lot of friends together so hate that too! Thats freaky we've both coped in the same way! I must admit am becoming addicted to The OC and this One TRee Hill thing! Yeah I barely ever see my other half - once since the split but was so drunk the old jealousy thing was never going to work - although I now if... sory when.. I start to see someone he'll hear about it - sadly I won't seehis reaction!! Boston, must have been an expensive realtionship but nice part of the world so I hear!
EnglishChick Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Originally posted by seductress989 I absolutely hate being lied to when I'm honest w/someone! That's why I'd like to get him busted for the illegal things going on in his apt. Well, sounds to me like your much better off without him...I know it's no consolation but I'm sure you don't deserve some criminal who lies to you as your boyfriend! I say do it...phone the police...do it do it do it do it do it! Thank you for the comment about my humour! My ex never got it, I think he thought I was being serious when it was just sarcasm. He must have been too stupid to get it and so thought I was insulting him! He never knew just how much of a bitch I could be....just joking...I'm still doing the 'nice' thing...for now... Jip: It was an expensive relationship but it was worth every penny at the time and I didn't mind saving the little money I was getting to see him. Boston is beautiful and at one time I would have loved to live there...feel so at home there, more so than here but the whole thing with him has tarnished it. Every time I went I was with him so it has too many memories for now. I was close to his mum aswell since I was training to be a teacher when we started out and she taught the age range I have now so we'd talk for ages about it. Think I miss her just as much as him! Been debating whether to send her a Christmas card or not. What do you think?
Jip Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Oh my God - me too!! I think I'm sending one... think you should too! I'm pretty sure my ex would appreciate it - even if his new GF doesn't!! We split just before his birthday and so on my last visit to his I left a little package - a birthday card, and some photo's from our holiday in Zante with a card inside with a few nice thoughts! He really did appreciate it! As much as I want to knee him where it hurts I still really care for this guy and believe he is a good bloke so thats prob my reason for wanting to send it... and I hope she reads it! Whah hah hah... *evil laugh* Yeah amazing how good memories can ruin something for you... I hate looking at sheep now... no not like that he he - he was a shepherd and I really fell in love with the simple lifestyle and spending my weekends away from the rat race! Sounds like you were quite close to his family too! Think that was perhaps our problem we looked a little further into the future than perhaps our other halves did - I'd have loved nothing better than to have moved down there! Sounds like you're an intelligent woman Englishchick... you'll know whats best for you re: the xmas card. Must be nice to be round children this time of yr being a teacher!
EnglishChick Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 The only reason I got so close to his mum was because when I went to stay there we stayed in his parents house (his job is a live in outdoor education thing so when he was off he couldn't live there), so I spent a large proportion of my time talking to his mum about the stupid things he had done when he was younger and even during the day. She told him "don't f*** this one up, I like her" and even that hurts to think about! It wasn't just me thinking ahead, he was worse than me and she was just as bad. She'd been asking him about 'what he was going to do' about the distance a couple of months before we broke up. The thing that gets me is he was always the one pursuing me, I was very weary of saying 'yes lets married' because I'm only 23! It's not like I said it wouldn't happen, I just said not any time soon and I think that might have been 'the straw that broke the camel's back' as they say because it was something he harped on about during our 3 hour break up talk. Impatient little sh*t. I am going to send the card, I like her and I want them to have a nice Christmas, but I also want him to be reminded of what he gave up and I know she'll do it for me! I just wonder what he's told her, do they even know we're over? Hmmm...I wonder. Just needed to get that rant out of my system. Thanks for reading it!
EnglishChick Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Oh, by the way Jip, my class are insane 5 year olds so although it's definitely 'interesting' to be around them they're hard work but they do keep my mind off things and they come out with some great lines...imagine in a really strong Liverpool accent and quite a feminine little boy at that... "Oh Miss! E's wreckin my 'ead! Keeps on draggin me arm everywhere!!!" 6 years old to 46 in one sentence. Sounds like Paul O'Grady to give you an idea.
Jip Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 No problem - you're welcome! See why your so confused by it all - thought it might have been the committment angle that scared the b'jesus out of him... weird that it should be the opposite! Good plan get others to give him grief for you... I know my ex's mother would have but that probably would have the opposite effect as they didn't get on all that well! He lived on his own so I never saw her a lot though but I'm told they though the world of me (not big headed)! I didn't push the long term thing with him in fact we never discussed it but he always said he was happy how things were... I always worried that the age gap would have an effect though... i'm 26 and he's just turned 23! I was his first real girlfriend of any length and always worried he'd go looking for something else - a 17yr old blonde as it turns out who was chasing him for a yr! I think rejection is harder to take when they were the one that sought you out and made you fall for them... I bet your guy was the same given he was the one that wanted to take it to another level! Makes you believe they'll never leave you... hah ain't that a laugh! Yeah part of me hopes the card makes him think about last Christmas and how great it was...well I thought so anyway! Oh hell now I've got that bloody Wham song in my head!!! Just read your other post.... thats quality!! I love Paul O'Grady.. must be hard to keep a straight face!!
EnglishChick Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Thanks a lot Jip, now I have it in my head and it suddenly means something...great! No more Wham for me then! Funny you should say about how it makes you think they'll never leave you, I thought exactly that. I always thought I'd be the one to finish with him if it happened and after we'd been going out for about 6 months he always thought i wanted to dump him if I said I needed to talk to him. What's that about?! How wrong was I about me being the high and mighty dumper?! It's nice when the parents like you, made me feel like I had something special going on because she hated all of his exes. My mum never liked him as much I don't think, she's got an obsession with me moving to America to get away from her though and she saw him as the one to 'take' me away. Ahh...mothers...
EnglishChick Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Originally posted by Jip Just read your other post.... thats quality!! I love Paul O'Grady.. must be hard to keep a straight face!! Sometimes I don't keep a straight face, as hard as I try I end up openly laughing. One of my 'special' ones tried to eat the microphone in church yesterday...in front of parents, teachers, the whole of the infants, the head! Mortified.
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