Text trails

[LilGirlandOW]

So my MM, says BS

 

(everytime I see BS I think of the obvious profanity, I wish the BS had a different acronym, i know its by chance but... anyways...)

 

So my MM says BS showed his his text count and its high like 50,000/mnth(ish), ok whatever he texts alot for work, its a main vein of communication. The other half are probably me. Is this where the trail ends? What could I possibly expect knowing that she has the records?

 

I'm not worried about preventing a dday, I'm sure if it happened I would look back at it as a blessing as alot of AP's seem to do. I've accepted my fate in multiple forms.

 

I'm wondering if he's gonna show up in a couple days with an A phone? I'm not suggesting it to him, but is that how most AP's keep in contact? He didn't seem like he worried, didnt ask me to text less or anything.

[LilGirlandOW]

We did discuss this, he thinks its just a tally of texts, which is possible. I was more wondering if she could find more info, like my number.

[Owl]

I would tell you that if his wife is resourceful in any fashion, she can find out a LOT of information.

 

In some ways, I was trained many years ago as an investigator. I learned how to gather information.

 

Two days after d-day, I decided I needed to learn more about OM. At that point, I had a first name, a character's name in the game we'd played together, and an email address that was associated with his IM account. I also knew what state he lived in, but not what city.

 

Using nothing more than that, two hours later I had his full name, his home phone number, home address, work phone number, the name of his employer, and that he walked to work, since he lived < 2 blocks from work. I knew what time of day he came to work, that he worked late and stayed late playing those online games on his work machines. I knew the make/model/color of his vehicle, and how long he'd lived at his current residence. I'd also found pictures of him online, and had seen the internet copies of his divorce decree from his previous wife seven years prior. I knew he had two kids that lived with her in another state.

 

My point isn't to scare you, but to point out to you that a resourceful person with a smidgen of internet saavy, and a small helping of 'people skills' can learn far more than you might ever imagine.

 

So yeah...odds are, she can find out whatever she wants to about you if she chooses to do so. At this point, there's probably very little you could do to prevent that from happening.

[bentleychic]

We're still using primary phones. She's mentioned it to him before b/c the numbers are on the bill. I know he texts different friends, etc., but we talk and text more than he does with anyone at all.

 

Being that she's a cop, I seriously doubt she is nearly as clueless as you all may think she is about what's going on.

[LilGirlandOW]

yeah I just didnt understand what info can come of that. I get an e-bill and pay it, no detail just what i owe, easy.

 

Bentley does BS know your number is you?

[LilGirlandOW]

As far as I know right now she only has a total count, I dont think she knows probably half are to me. She knows my phone number and see's it speratically on the bill, but we text alot more than we talk on the phone.

[bentleychic]

yeah I just didnt understand what info can come of that. I get an e-bill and pay it, no detail just what i owe, easy.

 

Bentley does BS know your number is you?

I don't know. I know she's seen a text I sent him on his work phone before by mistake. I know she knows where I live and if she looks up my number, she can see the location. I have my phone number on my facebook, too. IF she decided to go looking (if she hasn't already), she could figure out who the number belonged to very easily.

[Mycatsnuggles]

You do know most beople are caught from texting? If each spouse is an account holder they have full access to the phone records. Yes they send or email a limited statement bill w/o numbers but if requested you can easily access your account and see all phone numbers texted and called for three months. I believe you can even access older records if you specially requested. An easy google search of a phone number will reveal the persons name, address, employee, many people use their actual name on Facebook revealing so much more info. Even if you privatize your account a few pictures are open to all.

 

I have a friend who was outed in this very fashion she got careless and sent a few text msg with her AP her H was analyzing each number she called and did a search for $39 on a number that showed up he didn't know.

 

Also I know with Apple iPhones they store all text msgs. You can never completely delete this history. It's hard to access I've never done it but I am told some one with a little tech knowledge would have no problem reading all your old msgs. Pretty sure a cop would know someone like this.

 

Why not use instant messaging? No history. Only when your logged on can msg be exchanged. It's strange on the one hand you say you don't care if you get caught but you fear her(the BS). For your own safety maybe you should be more careful. Do you really think a dday would force him to leave for you?

[Owl]

 

Why not use instant messaging? No history. Only when your logged on can msg be exchanged. It's strange on the one hand you say you don't care if you get caught but you fear her(the BS). For your own safety maybe you should be more careful. Do you really think a dday would force him to leave for you?

 

No garauntee with this either. That was how I finally outed my wife. And the basis on which I gathered all my info on OM.

 

I used a keylogger to 'catch' their IM sessions, which told me all I needed to know about what was going on. I used his IM 'name' and service to track down his email address. Used his email address and IP service info to figure out what city he was in. Did a search on his email address and city, and came up with a full name. Cross reference search with full name and city, got an address. Used the address and name to get phone numbers. Remembered him talking about living near work...did a cross reference for business a short distance from his home address.

 

Called the businesses, confirmed where he worked, and got his work phone number.

 

You get the picture.

[Goodbye]

I'm not sure what your question is. If she sees his cellphone record, she can see your number in the incoming and outgoing texts and calls. I'm assuming if she suspects something, she will ask him about your number.

 

Looking back, I'm surprised my exMM's wife never questioned him on this...given the amount of time we spent talking.

[threelaurels]

So my MM, says BS

 

(everytime I see BS I think of the obvious profanity, I wish the BS had a different acronym, i know its by chance but... anyways...)

 

So my MM says BS showed his his text count and its high like 50,000/mnth(ish), ok whatever he texts alot for work, its a main vein of communication. The other half are probably me. Is this where the trail ends? What could I possibly expect knowing that she has the records?

 

I'm not worried about preventing a dday, I'm sure if it happened I would look back at it as a blessing as alot of AP's seem to do. I've accepted my fate in multiple forms.

 

I'm wondering if he's gonna show up in a couple days with an A phone? I'm not suggesting it to him, but is that how most AP's keep in contact? He didn't seem like he worried, didnt ask me to text less or anything.

 

 

I'm not going to lie. If she has a favor owed to her from someone in the DA's office, she can probably get a subpoena for his phone records. It's not ethical, but police departments are desperate for female officers, she's union-backed, and she would have to do something really terrible to get laid off. At most, she might get a slap on the wrist. That would give her access to the content of all of his text messages for the past 30 days or so, depending on how long his company keeps the records.

 

There are a lot of reasons you should never intentionally piss off a cop, and this is only one of them. They are not civilians. They have the power to do things that ordinary people do not, and the courts will almost always believe them over you if something goes wrong.

[sweet_pea]

She's a cop. If she wants your info, I have no doubts (whether right or wrong), that she can get your info.

[waterwoman]

I found out through texts. Something H said made me suspicious, I finally plucked up courage to check his phone and found texts. But I am guessing your MM deletes them? H didn't - OW called him 'a f***ing idiot' when she heard I had read them .

 

About 5 months ago I went to the phone shop with him to arrange a new phone for DD on his account. He queried why his bill had been higher every month for a while. Turned out that he had increased his text minutes allowance just before the EA got started in earnest and had then forgotten .Boy did that make for an uncomfortable few minutes.......

[LilGirlandOW]

Que Sera, Sera

 

Thnx for the info & imput

[legalgirl]

We're still using primary phones. She's mentioned it to him before b/c the numbers are on the bill. I know he texts different friends, etc., but we talk and text more than he does with anyone at all.

 

Being that she's a cop, I seriously doubt she is nearly as clueless as you all may think she is about what's going on.

 

Holy crap, a cop? Um ya, I wouldn't go there if someone paid me $1,000,000! lol

[whatatangledweb]

She is seeing a red flag which is why she asked him. If he switched to an A phone then his numbers would go way down. That would raise another flag. Seeing that many may set her off on looking for more. She could also have a cop friend trail him to see where he goes. A keylogger will show IM on a computer and emails. If she keeps looking she is going to catch him.

[bentleychic]

Holy crap, a cop? Um ya, I wouldn't go there if someone paid me $1,000,000! lol

Not mine! Lil's. My MM's W is *not* a cop. No no nooooo.

[bentleychic]

Not mine! Lil's. My MM's W is *not* a cop. No no nooooo.

I'm trying to figure out how in the heck you rack up 50k texts a month. I think even at our peek, it was like 3-4k a month. MAYBE. We talk more than text now so our numbers have gone way down on the texting part.

[ladydesigner]

We did discuss this, he thinks its just a tally of texts, which is possible. I was more wondering if she could find more info, like my number.

 

Not only can she find your number but most of these companies can release what has been written in these texts. If you are dealing with a BS who is REALLY computer savvy (like me) then she can even get the deleted texts off of his phone. Unfortunately or fortunately (whatever position you may be in) the technology we use everyday leaves imprints of information most that cannot be permanently deleted.

[LilGirlandOW]

I'm trying to figure out how in the heck you rack up 50k texts a month. I think even at our peek, it was like 3-4k a month. MAYBE. We talk more than text now so our numbers have gone way down on the texting part.

 

His work involves alot of text communication too

[2sunny]

His work involves alot of text communication too

 

His form of communicating with you is very shallow. Emotionally, text isn't a form of feeling connected - unless you enjoy feeling connected to typed letters strung together.

 

Text will NEVER replace the physical presence of any person - much less a voice and inflection.

[ladydesigner]

Just as an aside - it is unethical (and not allowed) for police officers to look up protected information on anyone that they are not investigating as part of their job. IN other words, using the resources available to them for their own personal investigating. I dated a police officer before, and I had asked him at one point if he could do a background check on someone for me, a thorough one, for my own personal use - and he explained this to me. That although they have these things at their disposal, they are expected to only use them for work related information. So, if she does use her position as a way to access information about you, it could cost her her job - and if I was you, I wouldn't hesitate to make that happen if she decided to do so.

 

Secondly, she can't find out anything from the phone records except your number, amount of texts, and the times and dates of them. She can't see what was texted (unless that's available to police officers and she uses her access illegally). My exMM simply had his paper statements turned off. He didn't use them anyway as he had an online account, and she didn't have access to his online account. He did this not to aid the relationship he and I had, he had stopped using paper statements for almost everything and since he paid the bills, she just never looked at them or asked about any of the bills. If he is trying to "hide" the affair, then I guess he should be taking some steps to actually do so. Otherwise, his wife probably has access to all of the records and (rightfully so) will be questioning things that look odd or suspicious.

 

I wouldn't be so sure of that. THIS is what my WH thought too.

[underwater2010]

So not only would you screw her huaband, but once discovered you would cause her to lose her job because he looked you up. That's one class act if you ask me.

 

For the thread starter, either exposé him or let him be. He is not yours for the taking. Find someone your age that is available. How much lower are you willing to sink in order to become his first place.

[Goodbye]

Cell phone companies generally save records for 2 years. This includes texts and calls. It does not include content of texts. Those are only on the server for 2 to 3 days max. You can tell a lot about the number of texts, times, and length of phone conversation. Verizon will show from where a phone call was placed, as well.

[LilGirlandOW]

I guess I'll see what comes of it then.

 

She's a smart lady, possibly she's gathering and sorting ducks making the odd comment, for example, commenting on his text count to make him sweat while she does so. Rightfully so!

 

No cheating husband is perfect:rolleyes:, farrrrrr from it, so there are days where I dont know if I want him all to myself. Other days, its my dream affariytale ending. Today is one of those days where I see him as an outsider looking in, all us OW should do this somedays... WMM are cake-eating pigs! EVERY single one, no matter how much you kid yourself!