Softdrinks8 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 My ex boyfriend broke up with me to mature.. Help! It's been 18 days now since we broke up.. There's no absolute third party.. He still loves me but he thinks he needs to mature and said he was always dependent to me.. He said he has no time for dating and want to focus on himself and business.. But why he can't be with me while changing himself? Why can't he mature while in the relationship? Why he needs to break up with me? He cried to me when I told him to take care of himself and said thank you, he's still crying until he dropped me to my place and hugged me.. He said he was tired of arguing and it's not because of me, but because of him.. I've been NC since the breakup because I respect that he needs space and time alone and also for me to heal..
Philosoraptor Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 If he truly broke up with you to mature and learn to be happy alone and be less dependent, then wish him well. Hopefully he realized that a healthy relationship is not based on dependencies, and he needs to correct his "need" before he can ever be a truly balanced relationship. What that means for the two of you I don't know. I'd just work on moving on and finding happiness without him, and let the future play itself out. 2
Author Softdrinks8 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 If he truly broke up with you to mature and learn to be happy alone and be less dependent, then wish him well. Hopefully he realized that a healthy relationship is not based on dependencies, and he needs to correct his "need" before he can ever be a truly balanced relationship. What that means for the two of you I don't know. I'd just work on moving on and finding happiness without him, and let the future play itself out. There's no cheating, lying, etc. my bday is almost near, do you think he will greet me as what also happened last year, he didn't talk to me for almost 3 weeks because he was angry, then he greeted me on my birthday..
reddragon588 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 On again off again relationships are not fun. You should analyze what causes the off again so often and if it is worth being on again. If he realized he was too dependent on you.. Well good for him honestly. Relationships are between equals and if he was codependent he was doing you no favors. I know it's not what you want to hear, but move on as though it is over forever, and if he is telling the truth about still loving you, he will be back soon enough. 1
Author Softdrinks8 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 On again off again relationships are not fun. You should analyze what causes the off again so often and if it is worth being on again. If he realized he was too dependent on you.. Well good for him honestly. Relationships are between equals and if he was codependent he was doing you no favors. I know it's not what you want to hear, but move on as though it is over forever, and if he is telling the truth about still loving you, he will be back soon enough. Thank you for the comments.. Hopefully he will come back soon, as for now, I want to focus on myself, improving myself to be a better person.. This breakup serves to us a space and time to reflect on ourselves, what went wrong and how to fix it.. Hopefully, it's not too late.. We love each other so much and I miss him but I need to keep NC to heal the pain.. And for him to have space and time to work out on issues he has.. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 How old is your ex? I'm just curious. 1
moki Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Hi, I am in the same situation as you. My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago because he wanted to experience new things and focus on his life. He sent me a message saying that he felt like a horrible person and he felt guilty hurting me. He also cried on the phone. We had NC since then. I know he still loves me but he had to choose between me or his future... We were together for almost 2 years. We are both young by the way (18-21). I doubt he will come back because he's a stubborn person. I have no choice to move on.
Author Softdrinks8 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 How old is your ex? I'm just curious. I am 24 and he's 25.. Why?
Author Softdrinks8 Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) Hi, I am in the same situation as you. My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago because he wanted to experience new things and focus on his life. He sent me a message saying that he felt like a horrible person and he felt guilty hurting me. He also cried on the phone. We had NC since then. I know he still loves me but he had to choose between me or his future... We were together for almost 2 years. We are both young by the way (18-21). I doubt he will come back because he's a stubborn person. I have no choice to move on. Yes, you have to move on even if without him, I know it's hard but I know you are also secretly hoping that he will come back, right? I'm in the exact situation right now, that is normal because I love him and he also does.. But I think time will tell when it is going to happen, as for the moment, I'm keeping myself busy, though I still think of him everyday.. We ended our relationship on good terms.. He is sure about me but his priority now is to mature, as seen also by some of my family members that he is dependent to me.. I know this guy, he is not a player, I know he sincerely wants to change.. He told me he haven't achieved anything on his life at his age and need to focus on that so that if one day we see each other I can be proud of him.. I know he truly means that, but it will surely take few months or even a year to do some self growth.. I am sticking to NC, I hope you do also.. Edited September 28, 2013 by Softdrinks8
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