NotOverYou Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I've been talking to this girl for two weeks now and we both like each other a lot. We've already made plans to go on a movie date next week, and go to a football game in November. Today, she came over to my place to hang out. Things were going great until I ask her a question. I asked her "You only know me for two weeks. Do you always make out with guys you just barely met?" I didn't even think before I asked her that question. I don't remember if she answer my question or not, but she played it off smoothly. She didn't seem upset or anything. We had dinner before she had to go home. I walked her to her car and kiss her like I always do every time she goes home. When she got home, she called me and told me that she was pretty upset about what I said. She also said that she won't be coming over anymore, but didn't say anything about not seeing her again. After that we both hung up but I felt upset about myself. I am very disappointed. I text her back to apologize, but it got no where. She was still upset. I don't know what to do. We both have a lot of chemistry and are very compatible together. We get along with each other and we're always sweet to each other. Did I blew it? How do I fix this to insure her that it won't happen again?
Guitarisgood Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Let her go. You did mate but thats what life is about, learning from your mistakes. There will always be other woman. Best thing to do in the mean time is not to talk to her - NO CONTACT. Let her cool down and come to you if she wants. Otherwise start socialising and meeting other woman.
todreaminblue Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) she didnt tell you she didnt want to see you any more....so i dont think you totally blew it....if someone said that to me i would assume they were questioning whether i was easy or not and i wouldnt ignore the question.....i would answer with a question....and ask," why do you do that, make out with all girls after two weeks considering we have barely met??" some people tell me i am annoying because i answer by a question that says how i feel about the question that was asked first it makes them answer their own question.... i think its ok to ask up front questions but i think that if you are going to be upfront you should really think about the question before you are upfront...and say ok if i confront her with this how am i any different can i answer that question myself.....and not feel awkward answering..thats why i often repeat questions back to confronting comments........takes a bit of pre thought so think fast double time before you are confrontational..... what matters is that you are both comfortable with each other and able to be honest.....and that exes and past relationships need to be dealt with once.......as far as making out goes did you complain at all when you made out with her if not.......what does that say? in my opinion its easier to talk about situations before they happen.......than after with mixed emotions.....and to me how fast you move is the at the speed of the more reserved person..so slowly does it..that would be respectful for both and really simple....no one feels uncomfortable at the pace and also, its mutually satisfying to be considerate...so if you wanted slow you should have said so instead of questioning her speed with others...in saying that...apologize and admit to her you regret even asking .....because you were part of it too......it was a silly question....men can be silly...;0)...all us women know that...because we have a habit of asking dumb questions too....no one is perfect...you have no choice but to take it slow now(which is a good thing anyway) if she sees you again because you made her feel self conscious i feel..best wishes....deb Edited September 27, 2013 by todreaminblue
heartshaped Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I'd leave her alone for a few days and then sincerely apologize again.
MalachiX Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Not to be a dick but... WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??? I mean, didn't you WANT to make out with her? Doesn't it take two to tango on anything sexual? I know you're already sad so I'm not trying to kick you when you're down but I think it might be worth examining what made you ask that in the first place. Maybe it'll help you to find a better way to talk to women in the future. 2
cif Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 You pretty much called her a slut... is she? At that moment you must've thought it then freudian slipped it. Just show up at her place with flowers or something small she might like and apologize.
Author NotOverYou Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 I text her today say hello and apologize. I didn't get a text back. She's out of town to visit her parents this weekend so I am going to wait until she gets back before I make my move. I was thinking about sending her flowers on Monday. Is that a good idea?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 What an ignorant thing to say. Do YOU always make out girls you just barely met? Christ. Send flowers if you want, but don't necessarily expect a response. I wouldn't respond if I were in her shoes. 1
Kizza Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 You questioned her integrity. Bad move. As previously said. Give her a few days to think about it and regroup, then sincerely apologize.
MalachiX Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 The problem is that what you said was a reminder of a LONG STANDING double standard that some men have in which they will be willing to engage in sexual activity with a woman only to judge them for it afterwards. It's perhaps best summed up in the Eminem song "Superman." I'd never love you enough to trust you, we just met and I just ****ed you... As a guy, i hate it when other guys do this. It's totally hypocritical and gives the rest of us a bad name.
coolheadal Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Don't say or do anything right now but true you can't she out of town. Wait still she gets back. Then go over to her home and talk things out and see how she acts. Look into her eyes when you do this. If she's not looking back then your best save face and move on. Just say good bye. Today you have to be very careful in these relationship with so many things can go wrong. You did say the wrong thing to her though. That was very negative, like you embarrassed and put her down. You might be able to fix this but it all depends on how she feels about you prior and after? Her intent now is what you have to find out and that will take time after what you did.
kassy Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Wow you called her a slut and wonder if you blew it? Yes you did. Apologise and send her flowers, but don't be surprised if she still isn't interested 1
Recommended Posts