Do women date guys with no career?

[elctroNYC]

ok, I will tell my story and then I will ask. I came to USA with my parents 11 years ago. I was 19 at that time. I started college right away but in USA education is very expensive and all I have right now is an associate in Engineering Science and I am still trying to finish my career in computer science, I am 31 years old now.

It takes very long time finish because I take one subject every semester. I do not want to get any loans, I like to live a debt free life.

At my age I still live with my parents, yeah yeah I know!!!

My dad suffers from a herniated disk and he cannot lift anything heavy and my mom is a breast cancer survivor and I was her caregiver.

I do not have the heart to leave them alone. I want them to get old in a nice way without leaving them abandoned in one of those senior houses.

I have 2 jobs non related to my career and the reason I wake up early every morning is because of them. I do it with the greatest pleasure.

 

So here is my question, will a woman date a guy like me?

 

I would say no first because I have no career and second because I still live with my family and third I am an average looking guy.

Any Opinions, thanks in advance

[Phoe]

So here is my question, will a woman date a guy like me?

 

Yes, I see no reason not to.

[D-Lish]

So here is my question, will a woman date a guy like me?

 

Not likely, not a woman with her crap together.

[miss_jaclynrae]

It wouldn't be the not having a career part that would bother me.

 

 

I met my man, he was 31, and at the time he worked at Walmart as a sales manager.

Not an amazing job.

What made the difference to me though was the fact that he also happened to attend school full time and had a valid reason for being so "behind", so to speak.

 

 

 

My question's for you are:

Why the heck are you not getting financial aid?

Community college is not that expensive.

Why did you not take more than one class a year?

Seems like laziness more than it being a finance problem.

 

 

My man worked full time, paid for his own schooling, and still managed to have his own place.

Not to mention he did this in 2 years after a decade of being drunk.

He is now attending university, and yeah, he is taking out loans, but the benefit of an education to get him into the career he dreams of is worth it to us.

 

Living at home isn't that big of a deal, the fact that you took 12 years to get an AA would be where my problem is.

Unless there was a true barrier keeping you from attending school more, I wouldn't personally date you.

 

 

Being 31 and having no career isn't bad, it is WHY and WHAT YOU ARE DOING to change it that matters.

Edited September 27, 2013 by miss_jaclynrae

[elctroNYC]

Ok. I guees i will have to say it. When we came to this country my uncle was supposed to request my dad through imigration but they got into a fight, not physical, and it didn't happened so we had to decided if stay or go back to my country where there is not opportunities and lots of violence.

So we stay and our visa expired so that makes me and undocumented student.

It didn't take me 12 years do get my associate. Between, 2001 and 2006 i had to take all the ESL courses and after that i got my associates in a community college.

So being undocumented does not let me to get any type of financial aid.

People will tell me to go back to my country but I preffer to be an undocumented my whole life here than going back to my country.

I pay around $3500 every semester for 1 subject. So that is why is taking so long.

Lazyness hmmm i dont think so......

[keepontruckin]

elctroNYC, women living in multi-million dollar homes, with the perfect family and the perfect his and hers BMW's and Mercedes in the garage, have banged the gardener.

 

This is more common than you may think. They'll bang the gardener, and risk losing their entire life as they know it.

 

So yes... Women will date almost any guy that they find interesting and/or fulfills their needs.

[soccerrprp]

I would say no first because I have no career and second because I still live with my family and third I am an average looking guy.

 

In the 30s, most are involved in some career. If I were a woman, I would say no way! But, it's also the fact that you still live with your parents as well...combination of things.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Ok. I guees i will have to say it. When we came to this country my uncle was supposed to request my dad through imigration but they got into a fight, not physical, and it didn't happened so we had to decided if stay or go back to my country where there is not opportunities and lots of violence.

So we stay and our visa expired so that makes me and undocumented student.

It didn't take me 12 years do get my associate. Between, 2001 and 2006 i had to take all the ESL courses and after that i got my associates in a community college.

So being undocumented does not let me to get any type of financial aid.

People will tell me to go back to my country but I preffer to be an undocumented my whole life here than going back to my country.

I pay around $3500 every semester for 1 subject. So that is why is taking so long.

Lazyness hmmm i dont think so......

 

 

 

Where do you go to school that costs 3500 every semester for ONE subject?!?!

 

Either way, dude, you have a LOT of **** on your plate.

As another person stated... dating should be the LAST thing you are worried about.

You aren't just an undocumented student, you are 100% an illegal alien...

[NoMoreJerks]

I'll be honest: I wouldn't date you, OP. I want a stable life with a man who has a good career. I want to end up buying a house (preferably jointly with my future-husband/husband) and have a dog and a nice family. And at this point, you don't seem to offer any of that, by any stretch of the imagination. The prospects of you having the ability to contribute to that are very limited even in the next decade or two. So no. I am finishing up a PhD, and I do think I can do better than that. Does that make me a materialistic/vain person? I don't think so. I just think people at different stages of their lives/careers have different priorities / worries, and it would be immensely problematic and just highly incompatible for two people at radically different places in their lives, to get together and date/form a serious relationship. Mainly because the worries/concerns are different , the lifestyle might be different, etc. I'm not even sure about the guy I am currently dating, who does not have a degree but has a semi-stable job, even though he's a really decent guy. But we have one life to live, and I don't want to wallow in semi-poverty all my life. I've been a student long enough (still am) and I know that feeling. Would men who have successful careers date me after finding out I'm still a student (even if I'm a phd student)? Most men who have rather successful careers, wouldn't/haven't, for one reason or another. It's a different lifestyle for them.

[soccerrprp]

Where do you go to school that costs 3500 every semester for ONE subject?!?!

 

Either way, dude, you have a LOT of **** on your plate.

As another person stated... dating should be the LAST thing you are worried about.

You aren't just an undocumented student, you are 100% an illegal alien...

 

I agree. Wow, $3500 per subject. You're being fleeced and I don't care what school it is!

[SoaringPhenix]

Ok. I guees i will have to say it. When we came to this country my uncle was supposed to request my dad through imigration but they got into a fight, not physical, and it didn't happened so we had to decided if stay or go back to my country where there is not opportunities and lots of violence.

So we stay and our visa expired so that makes me and undocumented student.

It didn't take me 12 years do get my associate. Between, 2001 and 2006 i had to take all the ESL courses and after that i got my associates in a community college.

So being undocumented does not let me to get any type of financial aid.

People will tell me to go back to my country but I preffer to be an undocumented my whole life here than going back to my country.

I pay around $3500 every semester for 1 subject. So that is why is taking so long.

Lazyness hmmm i dont think so......

 

Stop trying to pretty up your status by saying undocumented worker. You are an illegal alien. This says a lot about your character. Why do you not have a student visa? Why didn't you and your family come here legally? Wouldn't surprise me if you want to date so you can try and trick some poor woman into marrying you just to get your green card.

 

Up until this post here I was going to say that I would date someone like you. As long as you are working hard to get where you want to go, and aren't so far behind because of laziness or something else. They way I see it you want one of following...

 

1. You want to stay here illegally forever. Taking a job or jobs from citizens and people who did come here legally, not pay taxes etc.

 

2. You want to use some poor woman to get your green card.

 

Please don't try to say otherwise. If one of these 2 wasn't the case you would already have legal status. SHAME ON YOU!

[avn11]

OP -

 

Ignore these hypocrites because I think you are a good man. The fact that you are taking care of your parents proves that you are a decent who will take care of his wife and children. You prove that you are a family man, and obviously that's not enough for these hypocrites. They want a man who has prospects, but will shy away when they learn that he doesn't have a career, but at least he has a job. They want a man who treats them well, but will be disgusted to learn that he takes care of his parents. These people are selfish, ignorant hypocrites who doesn't know any better. Just ignore them OP and go find yourself a good woman. There are women out there who wouldn't mind dating you.

[Phoe]

OP I said earlier up that YES there is no reason not to date you and now I will actually elaborate more on this.

 

You seem to have a situation exactly like my most recent ex. He lives with his mother because she needs to be cared for. He has a low-paying job, no career. He's in his late 20's and has been in and out of school for several years due to finances of trying to get a degree.

 

 

He's a good person, and I enjoyed spending time with him.

 

 

NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

[elctroNYC]

shame on you trying to profile a person as everybody does fof being illegal emigrant. first we came with a visa so we came legally the issue with my uncle was something unplanned. we came here because there were reasons to believe that I was going to get kidnapped. second, we have been paying taxes from the very first moment we came to this country.

about taking others people jobs hmmmm lets see. I know lots of people that lives out of the government because they don't want to work for minimum salary.

third people keep telling me to marry someone just too get the papers. the only way I will marry someone is when I know I love her and she loves me enough to share a life with me, even if she is illegal immigrant too.

so stop profiling people. all I ask is for forgiveness for staying in the country and for an opportunity to have a better life.

About the price of the school is supposed to be half of the price but they take me as an international student, so they charge me double.

[SoaringPhenix]

shame on you trying to profile a person as everybody does fof being illegal emigrant. first we came with a visa so we came legally the issue with my uncle was something unplanned. we came here because there were reasons to believe that I was going to get kidnapped. second, we have been paying taxes from the very first moment we came to this country.

about taking others people jobs hmmmm lets see. I know lots of people that lives out of the government because they don't want to work for minimum salary.

third people keep telling me to marry someone just too get the papers. the only way I will marry someone is when I know I love her and she loves me enough to share a life with me, even if she is illegal immigrant too.

so stop profiling people. all I ask is for forgiveness for staying in the country and for an opportunity to have a better life.

About the price of the school is supposed to be half of the price but they take me as an international student, so they charge me double.

 

See bold - LMFAO really? Your here illegally and you pay income taxes? Not possible. First of all since you are here illegally you do not have a social security number, without one you can't file your income taxes. Second of all even if you did manage to file and pay income taxes while being here illegally the gov would at the very least arrest and deport you.

 

Ok so you came here on a visa I stand corrected on that 1 single point. However you are here illegally now. I notice you completely ignored my question about why you haven't gotten a student visa.

 

Using the lowlife trashy behavior of those who live off the government to try and justify your own such behavior.... seriously!?

 

You want an opportunity at a better life do it by being here legally!

[StanMusial]

elctroNYC, women living in multi-million dollar homes, with the perfect family and the perfect his and hers BMW's and Mercedes in the garage, have banged the gardener.

 

This is more common than you may think. They'll bang the gardener, and risk losing their entire life as they know it.

 

So yes... Women will date almost any guy that they find interesting and/or fulfills their needs.

 

LOL are you telling the illegal alien to be a gardener?

 

What a bunch of sexists.

[elctroNYC]

just google ITIN number. you will see that indeed it is possible to pay income taxes. The government knows that I am here, that is why I got my ITIN number.

Anyway nothing I say will change your way of thinking. I respect it and is a free country and you can hate anyone you want.

God bless You

Edited September 27, 2013 by elctroNYC

[todreaminblue]

ok, I will tell my story and then I will ask. I came to USA with my parents 11 years ago. I was 19 at that time. I started college right away but in USA education is very expensive and all I have right now is an associate in Engineering Science and I am still trying to finish my career in computer science, I am 31 years old now.

It takes very long time finish because I take one subject every semester. I do not want to get any loans, I like to live a debt free life.

At my age I still live with my parents, yeah yeah I know!!!

My dad suffers from a herniated disk and he cannot lift anything heavy and my mom is a breast cancer survivor and I was her caregiver.

I do not have the heart to leave them alone. I want them to get old in a nice way without leaving them abandoned in one of those senior houses.

I have 2 jobs non related to my career and the reason I wake up early every morning is because of them. I do it with the greatest pleasure.

 

So here is my question, will a woman date a guy like me?

 

I would say no first because I have no career and second because I still live with my family and third I am an average looking guy.

Any Opinions, thanks in advance

 

 

a career isnt everything....loving family is however ....everything.....you are a decent and kind guy......with two jobs and you look after your parents too......i dont see a problem with you finding a girlfriend or a date......best wishes....deb

[elctroNYC]

about the visa I did know I could do that. however, if you get a student visa after you finish school you have to go back to your country. right?

thanks from your answers. now I know what's the problem here

thanks

[elctroNYC]

to apply for asylum you must have hard proof that you were in danger. all we had was my uncle's testimony in my country. I guess we didn't investigate enough about the visas. I go to NJIT if your are part timer and illegal it gets expensive.

now you guys got me thinking about going back to my country. 912213 is right. now that I'm thinking everytime meet someone there is that voice in my head that tells me I'm illegal. so I see that more than a career issue is more of an illegal issue.

912213 u r right. I will see what I can do to fix my status that doesn't include marriage.

[StanMusial]

When you finish cutting the grass put some mulch around the pines and do some edging around the walkway.

[elctroNYC]

I do not blame them. They are right, We broke the law when we stayed and they have the right to hate me and my family.

In my country we get many Chinese emigrants I feel sad for them others get mad. So I understand. It is their country and they are defending it. I should say my country because I love this country maybe more than my born country.

Anyway, thanks for your answers, they opened my eyes to the real issue.

 

God bless you all:love:

[elctroNYC]

I guess we were numb at that time. Now i see many options that you tell me that I didn't even know. 11 years ago i guess i was an spoiled "adult" and never cross in my mind to look for something like that online.

I was thinking that if i can't resolve this situation, i will go back to my country and try to apply to stay in other country.

Thank you for open my eyes, i see the problem now and you didn't need to be disrespectful like phoenix did.

 

Thanks again

[elctroNYC]

Sorry I didn't explain myself well. I finish my esl courses and my associated between 2001 and 2006 in 2007 i enrolled in NJIT. My mom went to a lawyer and he said that how come my uncle did not do anything to apply for a request. He said it takes around 10 years to get results. But like you said is time to stop accusing other people and is better to find some solutions

For now there are no solution. Not even the Dreamers act covers me since i graduated when i was 15 years old in my country. By the way my country is Colombia.

For now i will be increasing my knowledge in my career and the dating thing will have to wait.

I went to NJIT because people said it was one of the best colleges in New Jersey. I believe i got 5 more years to graduated but like you said, im choosing the color of the car but i dont even have the engine

[heartshaped]

The attitude of some people is disgusting.

 

At any rate OP, I agree that first you should clear up your status. Look into visas and research the process heavily to see which kind of visa would be best and how to go about getting it. I wish you the best of luck.

 

And to your original question, I think the right type of woman wouldn't have a problem with you not having a career at this point as it's for understandable reasons, but she most likely would have a problem with you not being a legal citizen.