howlingizmos Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 When you're SO says they'll be home by a certain time, or shortly after, how long do you wait before you'd start to get a bit ticked off? I have issues with my SO being late all the time, and I don't know if I'm just overreacting or expecting too much. If he said he'd be home by or shortly after 11, what is a reasonable time to expect him home by? Thanks for the advice
Mr. Lucky Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I have issues with my SO being late all the time, and I don't know if I'm just overreacting or expecting too much. What do you suspect he's doing with this "extra" time ??? Mr. Lucky
aussietigerwolf Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Do you suspect him of doing something? I don't give my boyfriend a specific time I just say im on the way home and if I'm making stop offs at places i say that too.
Sparty97 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 My wife is late often... "I will be out for an hour or so..." Apparently "or so" means 3. I have gotten over worrying about it unless I have someplace I need to be that I can't take our son. If you know he won't be home at a specific time why ask for one and set yourself up for disappointment? It's one thing if you have plans, it's another if you are simply trying to control his movements. Do you want a sure plan for a breakup? Try and control his every move. Oh, and I have to ask...if he is saying 11 or shortly after what does the "shortly" turn into? If it's anything less than an hour you are overreacting.
Got it Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 For me it depends but I expect the same rules apply so running late from work constantly should afford me the same luxury. I get upset if I have dinner ready at a certain time or we need to go somewhere. But I have a crazy career as well and understand when suddenly its an hour later than planned. Communication is key here and alerting the other party is essential. So for me I have a grace period of about 30 minutes before I start getting annoyed.
miss_jaclynrae Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Depends on a lot of factors. I tend to get worried when the mister is late. He rides a motorcycle, and so I would freak out if he got off work at a certain time and he wasn't home when he normally would be. If he isn't home when he normally should be, I go crazy checking the news for reports on accidents, totally not healthy... but it was such a huge fear of mine. I don't really get upset unless we actively have something planned and he doesn't let me know he is going to be late. If anything, I usually text him when I am starting to get ticked off and he usually lets me know then what is going on if he hasn't already.
crederer Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Hell man, I've never on time for anything. I'm either way early or way late of intended time. But for general day stuff I don't think I need to pencil a time in for when I'm to be home, I just throw a wild guess out there and then pay little attention to it.
Got it Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Depends. Is this for dates or special events? Is this when you are waiting for him to do something together, like dinner or anything else, or is it because you want to know when he is coming home just because? You are not his/her mother you know? You shouldn't demand to know when exactly he will be home on a regular basis [people might feel suffocated from that] - just an approximate schedule should be okay. I wonder if you are complaining every time he is 30 minutes late and he is doing this 'late business' on purpose to show you you can't frame him to a schedule [maybe he wants to feel 'free' without cheating, you know? It is important to feel free during a relationship/marriage and that you feel that you are going home because you want to, not because someone is waiting to nag if you don't.] I disagree with the should or shouldn't. Each relationship is different. This is absolutely something they should discuss so if he feels as you state above they can discuss. But he needs to discuss his chaffing at the restrictions not just be passive aggressive to thumb his nose at it. That is not a way to resolve the conflict at hand. So each party is free to do whatever they want and the restrictions need to come as a discussion and agreed upon by both parties.
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