JoelBarish Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 If you have been keeping NC with your ex, would you respond if your ex texted you right now? I have been wondering what I would do. Honestly I don't know. I suppose it would depend on what she said. I probably wouldn't respond if... -she gave some breadcrumb like "how are you" or "happy birthday this weekend". I probably would respond if... -she said "I'm sorry and want you back". I would at least be willing to talk it over. -if she said "I want to pay you some of what I owe you I would definitely respond. What would you do if your ex texted?
loveiswar101 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Think it really comes down to the scenario as you say. Breadcrumbs texts are just breadcrumbs, checking your there and leading u on...false hope for you but fixing her needs...NOPE But if it was a positive text like "can we catch up" (not phone) face to face i would. YEP. Hang in there buddy... 1
halifaxboy Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 At this point (around 40 days NC) only if she wanted to reconcile, anything else nope..i'd stay NC.
Peanut9330 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 If I was in this type of situation right now I wouldn't respond, because I learned my lesson from a previous breakup. I took the bait he threw his breadcrumbs except it wasn't through text he called on my birthday and I answered. Totally sent me back to square one so I completely blocked him I then learned NC is best. Funny though 6 years he's later he's pleading with me to take him back and his willing to move mountains to prove to me how much he loves me. 2
AnyaNova Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I know that I have been making a lot of progress in the last few days. Being home sick may have been both a blessing and a curse in that regard. But I am pretty sure that as much as I shouldn't, I probably would respond if he texted, called, or wanted to call me. This whole being human thing. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 If you have been keeping NC with your ex, would you respond if your ex texted you right now? I have been wondering what I would do. Honestly I don't know. I suppose it would depend on what she said. I probably wouldn't respond if... -she gave some breadcrumb like "how are you" or "happy birthday this weekend". I probably would respond if... -she said "I'm sorry and want you back". I would at least be willing to talk it over. -if she said "I want to pay you some of what I owe you I would definitely respond. What would you do if your ex texted? No, I would not respond if he texted. He already emailed me and texted me twice, and I didn't reply and didn't feel the urge (for the past 3 months). It's over , and I don't want to be friends with him either, so I don't care if he never contacts me again. I hope he doesn't. If he texts me asking me to get back together with him, I'd still not reply. He had plenty of chances (3) and he f*cked up big time and even cheated on me. No, he's history. 3
Mr Scorpio Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 The last time it happened I ignored the text and didn't read it. I was going to read it "someday", but then I lost the phone before I had the chance. 1
tinker683 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Same as you OP. Breadcrumbs I'd promptly delete and forget about. Telling me that she wanted to talk and try and work things out...I might respond. That being said, it's been 9 months since we broke up and 7 months since she started hating her new boytoy so I sorely doubt I will ever hear from him. And that's fine with me 2
RiceaRoni Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 If you have been keeping NC with your ex, would you respond if your ex texted you right now? I have been wondering what I would do. Honestly I don't know. I suppose it would depend on what she said. I probably wouldn't respond if... -she gave some breadcrumb like "how are you" or "happy birthday this weekend". I probably would respond if... -she said "I'm sorry and want you back". I would at least be willing to talk it over. -if she said "I want to pay you some of what I owe you I would definitely respond. What would you do if your ex texted? hmmm...I think it just depends. If she's working hard to get you back, and you want to still have the relationship then by all means work on it. If not I'd just continue to stay NC. For me, at this point...I'm done with him. Even if he did want to have something with me again..I'd decline..I was too hurt and felt really uncomfortable in the relationship and how it was going. 3
love1336x Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Lol, my ex ALWAYS text me once a month. He usually writes, "hey... how are you?" Sometimes he calls me, and acts like we been best friends for years. But, always always, he ask me, "I bet the man you have in your life must be happy..." I usually giggle and say, "No. Because I don't have one..." Chances are if ANY of my exes was to text me with a simple hello, I would response simply because I HATE it when people don't response to me! I like to treat people how I would like to be treated.... I simply can't ignore, BUTT i do have my ex on block list... so no more once of month breaking NC! 2
love1336x Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 No, I would not respond if he texted. He already emailed me and texted me twice, and I didn't reply and didn't feel the urge (for the past 3 months). It's over , and I don't want to be friends with him either, so I don't care if he never contacts me again. I hope he doesn't. If he texts me asking me to get back together with him, I'd still not reply. He had plenty of chances (3) and he f*cked up big time and even cheated on me. No, he's history. Damn... you strong... I wish I had your spirit. 2
PootieMandela Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I deleted me ex's phone number. And every time she texts me I delete the message because I don't want the option of texting or calling her. So if my ex texted me, no matter the context, I would read it and immediately delete it. I've done it 3 or 4 times now and it feels pretty good. (A tip for future reference: in this age of cell phones and contact lists, don't memorize your partner's phone number.) 4
Phoe Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 My ex texted me yesterday. I did not respond. He texted me again today "You there?". Still didn't respond. I just don't care and have nooo energy to even conversate with him. lol. 5
Author JoelBarish Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 I deleted me ex's phone number. And every time she texts me I delete the message because I don't want the option of texting or calling her. So if my ex texted me, no matter the context, I would read it and immediately delete it. I've done it 3 or 4 times now and it feels pretty good. (A tip for future reference: in this age of cell phones and contact lists, don't memorize your partner's phone number.) I deleted my exes number but I somehow have it memorized. I'm like freakin Rain Man when it comes to phone numbers. Grr If my ex sincerely stated that she wanted to talk and apologize I would listen. Why, you may ask? Because when she broke it off with me she was cold, stubborn and wouldn't even talk it over with me. I refuse to treat someone the way I was treated. Would I take her back ? Maybe not. It depends on how good the apology was. 2
Petunia20 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Depending on what he said...if he asked how I was or a simple "hey" no I wouldnt. If he sent me a long heartfelt email or text explaining or asking to talk face to face I probably would meet with him. Maybe not to get back with him but to listen and see what he has to say. I feel like at this point I am out of energy to sit there and argue with him about it. But I would sit there and listen, probably get up and walk away once he was done. 1
L1ght Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I'm the type of person who puts great value on trust and loyalty. In life if I feel like I can't trust someone then I end up completely shutting myself off to that person and that goes for both friendships and relationships. I guess we learn from experience as we grow up that if we trust the wrong people at the wrong time then we will end up getting burnt one way or another but seeing the early signs of betrayal and acting upon them can save us a lot of pain and heartache at the end of the day. So when it comes to subject of my ex the question comes down to can I trust that person anymore? A person who left me high and dry at a point where I truly believed in the relationship and someone who I have not had contact with in over a year. The honest answer to this question is that if this person contacts me then I'm gonna tell her to F*ck Off. My mind is made up. 5
NoMoreJerks Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Damn... you strong... I wish I had your spirit. I wasn't strong like this, until I gave him 3 chances and he f*cked up each and every time, then I found it he had never been serious, he had future-faked me, told me he loved me when he really didn't, abused me horribly for over a year, always blackmailed me with threats of break-up and actual break-up, etc. etc. It took a year for me to get to the place where I am, and not wanting to even see his face or hear from him ever again. And now I feel stupid that it took me so long, can't believe I even had feelings for this man. Now all I feel is utter disgust any time I remember him. Thankfully it's not very often that I remember him at this point. It helps to get over an ex if he was a total douchebag throughout the relationship and you put up with it, rather than only towards the end with the break-up. Let's face it, no break-up is easy, but it's doubly worse if things were so good. In my case, that was never the case: things were bad from the start, so much fighting and drama, so much BS, and very rarely any good feelings. And anyway, even then, the first and second and third break-ups were still tough for me. But this last one? I had emotionally checked out anyway, after I saw naked pics and videos of a Thai prostitute in his bed, on his phone, as well as pics of her "escorting" him around Bangkok during the day, having lunch with him, going places with him, and kissing him. Yeah, it can do that to you: it can make you never want to see him. 3
NoMoreJerks Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I deleted me ex's phone number. And every time she texts me I delete the message because I don't want the option of texting or calling her. So if my ex texted me, no matter the context, I would read it and immediately delete it. I've done it 3 or 4 times now and it feels pretty good. (A tip for future reference: in this age of cell phones and contact lists, don't memorize your partner's phone number.) I had his number deleted but I suspect I might have his business card somewhere in the mess that my desk is. But anyway, I could easily throw it away if I find it. I don't really have it memorized either. I only get this number because he keeps on texting me. I had him blocked at some point on a texting app I use, but the app failed to block his texts for some reason (after it had blocked them for a while, they suddenly appear, but I think they were sent a while back, and they only appeared like maybe a month later). I was pretty upset that the app had failed lol.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 The honest answer to this question is that if this person contacts me then I'm gonna tell her to F*ck Off. My mind is made up. lol, all I can say is, don't. Not responding is truly the best relief. I was mulling responding and telling him to **** off, but he got the same exact message by me not responding to his 3 attempts to "reach out". In fact, it was even better than what he would've felt if I had responded. He can no longer get a rise out of me. He even texted me saying that he knew I was pissed off and he won't contact me again lol. Good! But pissed off is an understatement. No, I am not pissed off. Just plain disgusted. At his behavior during the relationship and then his subsequent emails/texts after the breakup, in which he even had to point out that he was going to Thailand to have a threesome. :confused::confused: Not sure why he thinks that's something I needed to know, as someone who is a stranger to him at this point (or why I needed to know this as his ex-gf or as his ex-f*ck buddy which is what I was for him). Or why he thinks it's such a great thing to boast of...? :confused: Showing off his masculinity? Or something? LOL
Kizza Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I still talk to my ex (we split 1 year ago) We were together 7 years and we were best friends, we are still friendly. The split was amicable and we love and respect each-other, it just did not work for us. I have never been out of contact with him. However the person I saw following my breakup with above guy was a total mistake. A jerk who played me and if he text me ever again I would totally ignore him. I am so much happier without him in my life. No more wondering what he is playing at, why he is acting a certain way and where the relationship is going. My self-esteem is higher without him in my life and I don't want to lose the awesome person I am becoming without him in my life. 1
SadHumiliated Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I'm almost 6 months no contact. No, I would never respond. When he cheated and left me he lost his chance at any sort of cordial relationship. I hate him. I have no room in my life for someone that treats me with such disregard. He can go get attention from someone else. 4
Tayla Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Its really contingent on the dynamics of the relationship , how it ended and where the maturity is for each person. There are three guys I would simply not respond to. Most of the chaps I dated still remain civil and cordial in social context. So to that I am diplomatic in return. The clear lines are drawn and healthy boundaries are in force. Use your judgment, trust your instincts, and know that we learn from our mistakes as well as our accomplishments. I've no qualms with the friendzone and checking on their well being...the motives are clear,,,,its a kind gesture and not one that steps into past emotions or wants... 1
figuringitoutx Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 If he texted me anything, I would ignore it. Flat out ignore it. It's taken me long enough to get over it, and I know as much as I would want to respond, it wouldn't end well and I'd probably end up getting hurt again. 1
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Tonight, if he texted me, I would respond in a heartbeat. I've been studying all day, but am really blue right now. I know if is mostly the meds I am on, but my mind always insists on ascribing the worsened mood to whatever is going on at the time.
loveofhorses1970 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I would like to confirm with a definite no, I would not respond. I don't want to go through all that, again. But in my heart, I just don't know that I wouldn't respond. It's hard.
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