napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 How can you tell if a guy likes you and is interested in you really? All the guys I've talked too we'd talk the basics what do you do for fun, what types of movies, music, tv shows, etc. etc. etc. Then after a few messages right away the chat turns another direction and right away the guy goes about with asking "how far have you gone with a guy?" "what have you done with a guy?" "would you show me your body?" etc etc etc. When it comes to these topics all guys clearly want is sex or sexual needs am I right? One guy told me "No I asked you those things to test to see if you were easy or not and you past the test etc etc" I'm like no as soon as sex is worded thats all you want ha.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 If you're talking about online dating, maybe 3% of guys on there have the right approach for a real relationship. The good thing is that the other 97% will make their intentions perfectly clear when they start talking about sex before you even know them. Ignore that 97% and dig for those precious few needles in the haystack. They are there. It's up to you to draw the line. Most men will push it as far as you'll let them. 5
ChessPieceFace Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 after a few messages right away the chat turns another direction and right away the guy goes about with asking "how far have you gone with a guy?" "what have you done with a guy?" "would you show me your body?" etc etc etc. When it comes to these topics all guys clearly want is sex or sexual needs am I right? If they're talking about it so soon, then yeah pretty much. At least you can move on quickly then. 1
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Hahaha yeah. I have yet to find that special 3%.
nescafe1982 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Yeah, if a guy starts talking sex within a few minutes of chatting on the internet, at least he's saving you time and effort by allowing you to rule him out swiftly, without having to waste an evening dating him. Really, if you're a pretty woman (esp a young one), the creeps are just going to find you on-line. Don't judge men in general by the weirdos that IM you on OkCupid, etc.... they aren't a representative sample of what's out there. When I would get those messages, at first I'd get upset, but after i while I simply clicked "block user" and didn't even bother with responding. The ONLY bit of advice I can offer to filter these guys out is to look at your profile. Is there a lot of "sexy" pics or content on your profile? Do you do the quizzes, and if so, are your responses most frequent to the "sex" questions? Do you make sexual innuendos in your profile or feature cleavage too much in your profile pic? Are you 22? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, that's probably why the creeps are finding you. Par your profile to a conservative level (e.g. body shots are nice but if you're in a club dancing in your underwear, well think about the message this sends) and see if that helps. But then, if you're young and pretty it doesn't matter what you do. Lots of dudes use online dating to harass women, unfortunately. And it gets to a point where, as a woman, there are a couple things you can do but you can't change EVERYTHING in your profile just to keep from getting harassed. If you don't have much "sexual" content in your profile and you're still getting bothered (it is very likely that you've done nothing to warrant such harassment), then just filter, filter, filter. Those men who have less-than-reputable agendas will go as far as you engage them to. Good luck out there! 3
deathandtaxes Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 If you're talking about online dating, maybe 3% of guys on there have the right approach for a real relationship. The good thing is that the other 97% will make their intentions perfectly clear when they start talking about sex before you even know them. Ignore that 97% and dig for those precious few needles in the haystack. They are there. It's up to you to draw the line. Most men will push it as far as you'll let them. Those damn 97% mess it up for the rest of us! I guess there's just a lack of true gentlemen out there.
crederer Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Not necessarily only looking for sex, but for sure quite interested in sex. Just don't break on your morals and it will become obvious in time. 1
L1ght Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I think a lot of women miss the point....or maybe they just choose to ignore human nature. I'll tell you girls a secret. It doesn't matter if a guy is blunt about his intentions or if he hides behind his gentleman like demeanor in his efforts to pursue you the fact is that all of us guys want to get you into bed. That's the absolute truth. Now to say that all we want is sex is complete rubbish. There's a million things about girls that guys love but the question here is about the difference between friendships and relationships. IMO if you want a guy to commit to you then you shouldn't expect him to do so until a sexual relationship has been formed. Some guys go about their approach in a different way but the goal/outcome they are aiming for remains the same. Personally I've been on both sides of the fence depending on the women I have been pursuing at the time. Some women like to get right to it and like a blunt approach yet other women expect a guy to pretend he is a gentleman for a few weeks before any real progress is made. The resultant outcome always remains the same. 3
MrCastle Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Have you put in your profile that you are not looking for sex and want marriage before you give it up? Because that's your stance right? Also, because that stance has roots in religion, you may be better off joining a local church group or another place that has similar values and find a man who, too, wants to wait until marriage to lose his virginity. OLD is largely used for casual sex. Very few people are looking for relationships. Certainly when it comes to men at least.
phineas Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Err, I get women initiating the sex talk all the time when it comes to OLD. I guess this means women just want sex also. Cool. 2
Author napy666 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Yeah, if a guy starts talking sex within a few minutes of chatting on the internet, at least he's saving you time and effort by allowing you to rule him out swiftly, without having to waste an evening dating him. Really, if you're a pretty woman (esp a young one), the creeps are just going to find you on-line. Don't judge men in general by the weirdos that IM you on OkCupid, etc.... they aren't a representative sample of what's out there. When I would get those messages, at first I'd get upset, but after i while I simply clicked "block user" and didn't even bother with responding. The ONLY bit of advice I can offer to filter these guys out is to look at your profile. Is there a lot of "sexy" pics or content on your profile? Do you do the quizzes, and if so, are your responses most frequent to the "sex" questions? Do you make sexual innuendos in your profile or feature cleavage too much in your profile pic? Are you 22? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, that's probably why the creeps are finding you. Par your profile to a conservative level (e.g. body shots are nice but if you're in a club dancing in your underwear, well think about the message this sends) and see if that helps. But then, if you're young and pretty it doesn't matter what you do. Lots of dudes use online dating to harass women, unfortunately. And it gets to a point where, as a woman, there are a couple things you can do but you can't change EVERYTHING in your profile just to keep from getting harassed. If you don't have much "sexual" content in your profile and you're still getting bothered (it is very likely that you've done nothing to warrant such harassment), then just filter, filter, filter. Those men who have less-than-reputable agendas will go as far as you engage them to. Good luck out there! I am 26 years old and I am a virgin and I am waiting until marriage to have sex. So I guess that amazes the guys and right away they want to know if I have done stuff with a guy or not and if so what so they know what they will get. I do put that I am a virgin and waiting for marriage on my dating profiles and no my photos don't show my boobs or anything like that there just simple photos. And no answering those questions don't aim towards the sexual section.
Author napy666 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Have you put in your profile that you are not looking for sex and want marriage before you give it up? Because that's your stance right? Also, because that stance has roots in religion, you may be better off joining a local church group or another place that has similar values and find a man who, too, wants to wait until marriage to lose his virginity. OLD is largely used for casual sex. Very few people are looking for relationships. Certainly when it comes to men at least. Trust me I have tried the christian based dating sites ans there aren't any virgins on them and they all want sex too hahahaha.
hppr Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I am 26 years old and I am a virgin and I am waiting until marriage to have sex. So I guess that amazes the guys and right away they want to know if I have done stuff with a guy or not and if so what so they know what they will get. I do put that I am a virgin and waiting for marriage on my dating profiles and no my photos don't show my boobs or anything like that there just simple photos. And no answering those questions don't aim towards the sexual section. Your problem is that you are dating online. You need to date in real life, IE meet people at Church, or through friends, or coworkers. Mentioning you're a virgin and want to wait til marriage is something you can save for after a few dates. You don't need to tell people that right off the bat.
Author napy666 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Your problem is that you are dating online. You need to date in real life, IE meet people at Church, or through friends, or coworkers. Mentioning you're a virgin and want to wait til marriage is something you can save for after a few dates. You don't need to tell people that right off the bat. And what IF it is brought up beforehand you never know the guy could ask ha. And I don't got a lot of friends or work with coworkers due to not having a job or go to church.
skydiveaddict Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 How can you tell if a guy likes you and is interested in you really? Because he will respect you and defend your dignity above everything. Otherwise it means nothing.
Lokie Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I agree with hppr. Leave out the virgin part of your profile. That's like putting a juicy streak in front of a hungry dog!
gaius Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 You could get into nerdy stuff. A friend of mine goes to nerd events and conventions and she never gets hit on. Plenty of guys not pushing for sex there. Other than that I can't think of anything besides trying to get more exposure to religious circles. Mormons especially I've heard like to wait till marriage.
nescafe1982 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I am 26 years old and I am a virgin and I am waiting until marriage to have sex. So I guess that amazes the guys and right away they want to know if I have done stuff with a guy or not and if so what so they know what they will get. I do put that I am a virgin and waiting for marriage on my dating profiles and no my photos don't show my boobs or anything like that there just simple photos. And no answering those questions don't aim towards the sexual section. Well there's your problem right there. If you say in your OLD profile "I am a virgin," you are clearly chumming the waters for creeps and weirdos. This is personal information. Share it with someone after you screen them a bit. Broadcast it to the internet and the internet will hit you back with a barrage of crazy.
TB Rhine Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 26 and a virgin, eh? If that were truly on religious grounds, you would've gotten married at 18 and had done with it. Not trying to be disrespectful or anything (truly), but I don't believe for a second that a woman in this day and age stays pure til her mid-20's out of religious conviction. You need to get into therapy, get over whatever happened to you when you were younger, and then get out there and start pursuing ADULT relationships with people.
snowflakes88 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 26 and a virgin, eh? If that were truly on religious grounds, you would've gotten married at 18 and had done with it. Not trying to be disrespectful or anything (truly), but I don't believe for a second that a woman in this day and age stays pure til her mid-20's out of religious conviction. You need to get into therapy, get over whatever happened to you when you were younger, and then get out there and start pursuing ADULT relationships with people. This is totally ridiculous.
nescafe1982 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 This is totally ridiculous. +1. And I venture this demonstrates the very argument I made on page 1 that "some men go online to harass women." OP came here with a legitimate question. To attack her for it is just crazy.
giblesp Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 This works both ways, most of the women I met in the past just wanted sex. If they thought I was looking for more, they'd make out that they had feelings for me to get the sex. Sounds like you're looking for a deeper connection. You're going to have to be patient, because yeah most men are looking for sex. These men(and women) are looking out for their own needs. You'll know you've met someone special when they put your needs first.
phineas Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Most men by 26 have had a good amount of sex unless they are unattractive or socially awkward & I seriously doubt op would give those guys a chance regardless of what she claims. She is talking to men who probably have no problem getting laid so why would they give up sex for one woman and marriage when there are many women out there who want to have sex without wanting to get married? OP is going to have a VERY difficult time finding a guy her age who is willing to buy a car without test driving it first. She def. won't find him online. Possibly at church or community groups or, the way things are going these days junior high? 1
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