Gingi Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I've had NC with my ex for the last month, even though we broke up 2 months ago. He was physically and emotionally abusive toward me, and I had to leave. Having to go to work with a black eye after the last incident forced me to leave. This morning I check my personal email, and there's a note from him. The subject line is empty and my heart sinks. I still love this man. I don't know how or if I should bother responding. I feel like I've gotten stronger in the last month, but this email feels like a huge emotional setback for me. This is what he wrote: I hope this doesn't bother you. It is in no way my intention. I don't know why, but more today than ever I'm missing your love. I'm not trying to stir your emotions even though it may happen. I really want you to know that I think you're beautiful and smart and there will always be a hole in my heart that you once filled. I am so sorry for everything that has gone bad between us. I am going to miss you forever Love xxxx
lindsay1990 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 There is absolutely no reason to reply. Do not concern yourself with a man that gave you a black eye, you are doing yourself the favor of a lifetime by keeping NC. Stay strong. 2
organizedchaos Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I've had NC with my ex for the last month, even though we broke up 2 months ago. He was physically and emotionally abusive toward me, and I had to leave. Having to go to work with a black eye after the last incident forced me to leave. This morning I check my personal email, and there's a note from him. The subject line is empty and my heart sinks. I still love this man. I don't know how or if I should bother responding. I feel like I've gotten stronger in the last month, but this email feels like a huge emotional setback for me. This is what he wrote: I hope this doesn't bother you. It is in no way my intention. I don't know why, but more today than ever I'm missing your love. I'm not trying to stir your emotions even though it may happen. I really want you to know that I think you're beautiful and smart and there will always be a hole in my heart that you once filled. I am so sorry for everything that has gone bad between us. I am going to miss you forever Love xxxx Why would you entertain even the slightest feeling towards a man who beat you? Why? Dude should be in jail. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Why would you entertain even the slightest feeling towards a man who beat you? Why? Dude should be in jail. Yes, why isn't he in jail??? Block him. If you get back with him, there a huge chance he will hit you again. Don't risk it. Avoid temptation. 1
Zahara Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I feel like I've gotten stronger in the last month, but this email feels like a huge emotional setback for me. If you feel this email is a huge emotional setback, then imagine replying and getting sucked in all over again and getting a few more black eyes. "I'm not trying to stir your emotions even though it may happen." Bingo! It's exactly why he's sending the email. He wants to stir your emotions. Abusers are all about control. This is him wanting control again. 3
Author Gingi Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Thank you for your feedback. I typed up an email yesterday but did not send it, and I won't. You guys are correct. I just needed reinforcement from others. I know it's crazy, but I still love him. Logic and emotions are battling it out, but logic has to win. There's no other choice. I just wish we could get along. 1
Zahara Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Thank you for your feedback. I typed up an email yesterday but did not send it, and I won't. You guys are correct. I just needed reinforcement from others. I know it's crazy, but I still love him. Logic and emotions are battling it out, but logic has to win. There's no other choice. I just wish we could get along. Good for you. It's normal that you love him but it has to stop there. Love won't change an abuser. And no, you can't get along because he's operating on another level, one that is of no benefit to you. 1
Exitleft Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 You made the right decision. It's hard enough to break up and stay away from someone for less, let alone someone that has been abusive and is manipulative so I commend you for the incredible courage and strength it would have taken to leave and stay NC for a month. If you're all the good things he says you are then there is no reason someone else will not appreciate those things and never hurt you the way he did again. Best of luck
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 He was physically and emotionally abusive toward me, and I had to leave. Having to go to work with a black eye after the last incident forced me to leave... I still love this man. Whoa!!! It is crystal clear you have some serious issues to work on. I suggest therapy before anything else. Major co-dependence!!!
melell Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Don't feel too bad for how you are feeling, I promise you so many people feel exactly the same in the same circumstances. I know how hard it is to walk away, you are extremely strong for doing so. Use your logic instead of listening to your emotions right now. Those emotions are strong and they will mess with you for sure. Those same emotions kept you with him before, don't let them do it again. I think you already know that in this situation you really have no choice, and that thought will save you from this. Stay strong, seek therapy or anything that will help you use your head and not your heart.
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