im falling apart, his new girlfriend is pregnant.

[Gingerlee]

I found out today via a mutal friend. Laughed it off to him as my ex and his girlfriend have only been together barley three months and she has only just turned 18. Then when he left, I sat on a bench and I sobbed until I couldn't anymore.

 

When I fell pregnant, he told me he'd never be there for our child, told me I was ruining his life, told me he would never speak to me or our child ever. Then when I nearly lost my life after a miscarriage he left me. Doctors don't think i'll ever conceive again after the damage done to my uterus.

 

I have a bottle of vodka and a bunch of pills, someone please tell me why I shouldn't take them, I feel like I have absolutely nothing to live for. It has been four months since we last had sex and he told me he loved me. I loved this boy with everything I had, he was my whole world for three years, my first love, my first everything.

 

please help me someone

[Oldcatskinner]

Gingerlee,

 

If you take your life, then he wins. Don't give him that satisfaction.

[Klaatu17]

Hang in there Gingerlee...I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better! Trust me, myself and everybody else on these boards have been in your position! It sounds like you're young so you have a lot to look forward to! Nobody is worth losing your life over! Just take it one day at a time and you'll start to feel better soon!

[Bito]

We can't make the pain stop. Only time can. Just remember you are loved and this to shall pass

[Omei]

He sounds like a jerk honestly you should be glad hes not with you anymore she's 18 sounds like hes gonna **** her life up bet you anything he'll play daddy for 3 months tops before ditching her like the dirt bag he is, your life isnt worth him, you got a second chance a chance to be happy with someone REAL and can offer you REAL love and partnership and to have a family one day when the time is right...please live to see that day.

 

There are many options today to have children, Like adoption.

 

I am adopted and to this day I couldn't of asked for better parents.

 

Also first loves are bittersweet, just wait till the "love of your lifetime" will come along you will think of him as a silly thing in your youth.

 

Oh yeah, use birth control! im guessing you're around 18 as well, slow down don't be in such a rush get married think about this stuff then not now! enjoy life.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Omei

[Petunia20]

You're worth a lot more...dont let him bring you down like this. Do you even know for you sure that this girl is pregnant? Sometimes women are so vicious that they will lie to keep a man. And even if she is pregnant do you think he will be happy about it? Think about how he acted with you. If you know that you were a wonderful girlfriend to him and he still treated you like that... what makes you think he wont do the same to her or tell her the same thing? If he didnt want a baby with you chances are he doesnt want a baby with her either. Especially this early on the relationship. This cannot end well.

[HokeyReligions]

You said it yourself hon. FIRST love. Somewhere inside you already know you will love and be loved again. If you stop now before you heal you'll deprive yourself of love and joy and laughter every bit as good - almost certainly better - than what went before.

[JoelBarish]

I found out today via a mutal friend. Laughed it off to him as my ex and his girlfriend have only been together barley three months and she has only just turned 18. Then when he left, I sat on a bench and I sobbed until I couldn't anymore.

 

When I fell pregnant, he told me he'd never be there for our child, told me I was ruining his life, told me he would never speak to me or our child ever. Then when I nearly lost my life after a miscarriage he left me. Doctors don't think i'll ever conceive again after the damage done to my uterus.

 

I have a bottle of vodka and a bunch of pills, someone please tell me why I shouldn't take them, I feel like I have absolutely nothing to live for. It has been four months since we last had sex and he told me he loved me. I loved this boy with everything I had, he was my whole world for three years, my first love, my first everything.

 

please help me someone

 

Millions of guys just like me would jump at the chance to be with a girl just like you. Don't do anything bad just because of some jerk!

[AnyaNova]

This is why you are not going to take the pills with the vodka. Because--

 

1) Even though you do not see it now, and cannot feel it, years down the road you will look back and wonder why you were so upset about that jerk who let you down so horribly and never deserved you in the first place.

 

2)Because you are NOT going to deprive the wonderful men out there who are in store for you, who not all of them will ultimately work out with, but who will treat you like the lady you deserve to be treated like. And especially you will not deprive the man that someday will love you enough to marry you and be faithful to you.

 

3)Because you are not going to give that cockroach the ego satisfaction of being able to say that he had a girl so in love with his miserable "girlfriend who he got in serious medical trouble who he deserting a@@" attempt suicide over him.

 

4)Because there is a kick ass life for you out there. And even if biological children are not in store, there is adoption.

 

5) Because I have been there, and almost did when I was 19 over a guy who wasn't even close to worth it. I look back and cringe at the thought that I almost did over him.

 

6)Because years later, YOU are going to look back and cringe at the idea that you might have lost your life over this lowlife.

 

7)You deserve the wonderful life that is waiting for you. It turned out I had one waiting for me.

 

YOU DO TOO! Please hear me on this.

Edited September 27, 2013 by AnyaNova

[RiceaRoni]

ooo girl..

 

it was a blessing he left. Honestly.

I know it's painful my dear, but think about it...

 

Do you really think hes going to stay with this girl??

He couldnt even manage to stay with you..

 

He's ruined her life by doing this..(she's as fault as well)

and she's only 18!

That's crazy..

You deserve far better my dear...far, far better..

 

and you know what? You WILL find better..

 

wouldn't you rather have a man than a boy?

A man willing to be with you through everything and anything without giving up on you like this moron...

 

He doesn't deserve the title of a man..he's still a child.

 

I know you're hurting, and taking those pills or vodka isnt going to help you in any way. You're letting him win...you're letting him have this kind of hold and power over you..

 

DONT LET HIM.

 

Rise up and show this fool you can live on without him..that you can find a better man...a man, not a boy..someone willing to go the distance for you.

 

But mostly...do it for yourself. You deserve that much. You deserve to be respected and cared for..

 

And who knows for sure if she is? Like stated above. she could be lying..

 

I understand the pain of losing your first love..it's the most difficult, but I will tell you it gets easier, and you will become stronger.

 

You can fight through this and become your own hero, by winning the battle

Edited September 27, 2013 by RiceaRoni

[Angry bird]

Be happy it is not you that is pregnant with his child. Dear God, be thankful it is not you!

[AnyaNova]

@Angrybird-- I am hoping that you just skimmed her post. Unless I misunderstood the OP entirely, and missed that he got the OP pregnant, refused to be their for her and their child, and then she suffered a major life-threatening miscarriage that ruined her own chances to conceive ever again. Do you think, with that, that telling her that she should be grateful that she is not pregnant with his child, when she already was, and it cost her so much, is really going to be comforting? I know we are online. I know reading online by its very nature impairs comprehension. I also know that I am on some pretty interesting medicine at the moment, so please forgive me, if I am the one to have misunderstood. But if I haven't, please take time to think about your responses. I know none of us are perfect. But as we would not want to be more wounded by replies of others', let us work hard to ensure that we do not wound more with ours.

[darkmoon]

you need meetup groups, easy off-line socializing, thousands of group interests, he comes off as immature here, flitting about from girl to girl, I say this as most immature men do flit, some more discreetly than others, she won't hold him, he's not the type

 

mark my words, once her bump comes, once she's addled, too busy for make-up, caught up with looking after a baby, his eyes will wander, we already know what he's like, it's only a matter of time

 

join meetup, but keep in touch here too

Edited September 27, 2013 by darkmoon

[love1336x]

Oh honey, I can't imagine the pain you are going through.

If you seriously need somebody to talk to, I would gladly PM you an email, or even text!

 

Please do not do anything crazy! I know you are hurting! But you can and WILL get through this! Nothing is forever, not even PAIN!!!!!

[Gingerlee]

I'm slightly overwhelmed with the response! Thankyou so much for responding to me, I really did think I was going to do something crazy, because this was all I ever wanted with him.

 

He was the only one who ever knew me like no one else. I've dated a lot, over 5 guys, and I have not clicked with a single one of them.

 

I just feel so lost, so lonely, I just want to wake up from this bad dream, I am utterly heartbroken, we haven't spoken in nearly two months and he is STILL making my life miserable.

[darkmoon]

you have taken into account that he will one day be middle-aged, his looks will go

[Gingerlee]

you have taken into account that he will one day be middle-aged, his looks will go

 

He was never really a "hunk" to start with. It was just the fact that he loved me so much. I have a little red box filled with about 20 love letters, necklaces, I have a whole wardrobe full of clothes he bought me. I really did love him so much, now i'm wishing I had never met him.

 

I cant eat, I can't sleep, i've started clawing away at my skin with my nails, which is something I used to do as a child. I have skipped uni twice now and haven't eaten in 24 hours. I dont know what to do or where to turn to.

[darkmoon]

He was never really a "hunk" to start with. It was just the fact that he loved me so much. I have a little red box filled with about 20 love letters, necklaces, I have a whole wardrobe full of clothes he bought me. I really did love him so much, now i'm wishing I had never met him.

 

I cant eat, I can't sleep, i've started clawing away at my skin with my nails, which is something I used to do as a child. I have skipped uni twice now and haven't eaten in 24 hours. I dont know what to do or where to turn to.

 

I see. I think now you are actually going thru a mini-divorce, a phase of self-blame, self-dislike, anger in general, so you claw at your skin, picking on yourself (in your shoes, my claws would pop out like a cat's claws too) avoid scarring yourself, please.

 

you had a time of romance, those letters, you miss that, you should prolly chuck out the letters and clothes, or donate them to charity, that's if you are ready to see such souvenirs as out of date

 

on your way to that, I think you need a sedative, you can't afford to mess up uni, this seems like a terrible waste, go see a doctor

 

your hormones are giving you one hell of ride atmo, so I think srsly you should speak to your uni about your upset, the sedatives will calm you down

 

please tell your uni to write me here (if you need support) you can not wreck your studies, please please, just don't

Edited September 27, 2013 by darkmoon

[emi]

DONT ever remember how much he loved you, what he did to get you, sweet times etc.

 

ITS OVER

 

He is an *******

 

He made you pregnant.

 

Refused your baby. Refused you

 

'' YOU DESTROYING MY LIFE'' - he said.

 

You almost dead for your miscariage.

 

He isnt here.

 

You see? This is what i want you to carve it in your mind, find the strength to pick yourself up.

 

Dont let anyone treated you this bad make you give up your life.

Dont sis !

[Angry bird]

@Anya,

That's my opinion.

[Gingerlee]

I'm struggling a lot, this was meant to be my life, this was all I wanted.

 

I am a little better today. Im working overtime tomorrow, can only hope it will take my mind off this.

 

Thankyou so much everyone for your kind words..

[Bluebelle38]

Oh sweetheart, my heart goes out to you.

 

I remember my first break-up (together 2.5 years) and it was the worst hell. No break-up since has been as painful as that one. I too thought Iwanted to die.

 

You invested three years into a relationship with this guy and he has treated you appallingly. Do you really think you would have a happy lifewith someone capable of what he has done.

 

He is nasty. In time you will see you are LUCKY to not be tied to him anymore. Far greater things await you - as did me - but in the midst of the heartbreak you can't see that.

 

Tomorrow is another day. The heart will heal and life will go on.

 

Take care xxx

[Exitleft]

I'm sorry for your loss I agree with those who said it's a blessing in disguise that you are not her, really.

 

In my experience, how they treated you is proof of what they are capable of and it may only be a matter of time before he feels the same about the new girl. Either way, be glad he is no longer your problem.

 

I hope you get some relief from thinking about it today. *Hugs* and best wishes, love.

[Gingerlee]

My parents are being very patient, my mother hated this boy from the beginning though so it's slightly annoying to have her being proved right.

 

I stayed awake half the night contemplating whether I should message her. I decided against it, as i'm trying to retain whatever little class I have left after my pathetic end with him. (Begging, sleeping with him whenever he clicked his fingers, etc)

 

Thought about it a lot. Thought about a lot of things. Thought about if it would be a girl or a boy, and then I cried until I fell asleep.

 

I just don't know how much more misery I can take. I didn't deserve any of this. I never cheated, there was a time I would have died for him, and very nearly did. I know he's a horrible person, and I know he is complete poison, but she is living with him in the home we planned together, sleeping next to him each night, and now she is having his child, which is all I ever dreamt of.

 

I just don't know how much longer this pain is going to make me feel like this, I wish I had never found out, as ignorance is complete bliss.

[Exitleft]

My parents are being very patient, my mother hated this boy from the beginning though so it's slightly annoying to have her being proved right.

 

I stayed awake half the night contemplating whether I should message her. I decided against it, as i'm trying to retain whatever little class I have left after my pathetic end with him. (Begging, sleeping with him whenever he clicked his fingers, etc)

 

Thought about it a lot. Thought about a lot of things. Thought about if it would be a girl or a boy, and then I cried until I fell asleep.

 

I just don't know how much more misery I can take. I didn't deserve any of this. I never cheated, there was a time I would have died for him, and very nearly did. I know he's a horrible person, and I know he is complete poison, but she is living with him in the home we planned together, sleeping next to him each night, and now she is having his child, which is all I ever dreamt of.

 

I just don't know how much longer this pain is going to make me feel like this, I wish I had never found out, as ignorance is complete bliss.

 

Ignorance certainly is bliss in these matters, I agree.

 

Don't be afraid to reach out to your mother if you need someone to speak with, she loves you and that is exactly why she questioned him from the beginning.

 

Maybe more than an I told you so, you really need someone who cares about you to tell you they are there for you.

 

It's not always the best to go through these things alone. I would encourage you to catch up with your mother if you feel the need to. Get close to someone who cares about you during this time so that they can support you during your weaker moments.