Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I don't understand the logic here. A girl makes a very lengthy in depth profile. I stumble upon it, I like what I see. She is obviously a little overweight, judging from the size of her arms and her lack of a picture from the neck down, but I thought she was cute and we appeared to have many similar interests, so I messaged her just to find out she was a huge bitch. I don't get why some one would be so outwardly hostile to those that show interest ON A DATING SITE. These sites have a purpose. At its worst its there to meet new people, and at its best its thereto find a relationship. So how can an interaction like this take place ? Me : " its nice to see some one that I have so much in common with . It seems we share quite a few interests, and it doesn't hurt that you have an adorable smile. " Her : " you have nothing in common with me . " Me : ( I started to say how she would have no idea if I did or didn't, since my profile is intentionally vague, but I stopped halfway through ) " how could you possibly know that ? You know what, never mind. " Her " I'm not interested anyway, you seem like a total ******* " Me : that's too bad, you could have met a really nice guy, but you were too shallow to see it. " And then I blocked her. How can some one expect to get any form of attention while behaving in such a rude manner ? This is part of the list of many reasons why its useless. Boredom, why do you make me waste my time.
AHaze Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Her : " you have nothing in common with me . " "Cool... cya" 1
Author Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 "Cool... cya" Im not asking " how do I handle horrible people " Take a crack at my actual question, because I'm really dying to know . Its making an investment of time and effort only to sabotage yourself by being rude to people that might be interested. Its like investing in the stock market but telling your broker to keep all the money you earn. Its pointless and I don't understand why some one would do that to themselves
Mascara Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Some people are just rude, regardless of them being on OLD. I thought your message was great, her loss. 1
AHaze Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Im not asking " how do I handle horrible people " Take a crack at my actual question, because I'm really dying to know . Its making an investment of time and effort only to sabotage yourself by being rude to people that might be interested. Its like investing in the stock market but telling your broker to keep all the money you earn. Its pointless and I don't understand why some one would do that to themselves I don't even care bro... neither should you, that's what I'm saying. Why even give it a second thought? She's a waste of (what ever fuels the brain), you're not going to change her (or other people like her), understanding it won't make any difference, it's not like you did anything to provoke the response she gave you... so F it.. move on without a second thought, she's not worth it.
Author Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Some people are just rude, regardless of them being on OLD. I thought your message was great, her loss. Well thank you, that means a lot because I consider myself terrible at first messages. Awkward and uncomfortable comes to mind. And don't worry people, its not the girl I'm hung up on, just another random internet person, its the attitude, but more importantly, the contradictory behavior that blows my mind. Today I'm going to go to McDonalds and ask if they have any non edible food. 3
FitChick Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Why even give it a second thought?... you're not going to change her (or other people like her), understanding it won't make any difference... It's very annoying when people do this "But WHHHYYYYY did he/she...?" You can almost hear the nasal whine. Then they analyze every word, every pause, every breath. Waste of time.
Joaquin Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I'd just accept some people are on the site to get their jollies in ways that dont make sense, and that for some involves shooting down seemingly pleasant people. Some people are plain dick heads with no manners or class. And it's very easy to be that way behind a computer screen. I guess all ya can do is terminate contact at the first sign of hostility and move on to the next lassie.
pteromom Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Your message was perfect. It was sweet but not sappy, and I would have responded very well to a message like that. Who knows what her problem is. Maybe she has been hurt by men and she's on there for the specific reason of lashing out at them. Maybe she is just an angry person. Maybe she's having a terrible day and you were a perfect scapegoat. At any rate, you are better off without someone who would act that way toward another person. Good that she showed her true colors right away so you don't need to waste more time on her! It's not you - it's her. I promise. There is nothing wrong with you. 1
crederer Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 (edited) I dunno man it's reasons like this I don't like OLD. I met with some girl who was decent looking, but not super attractive by any means and a bit overweight (which isn't a problem for me). Then when we got into the conversation about what each other are looking for in a relationship, she said "needs to be over 6 foot tall, athletic, make over 100 grand a year, quite fit, etc". Everything she mentioned was completely superficial, and quite clearly, even my profile stated, that I am not the majority of the things she stated. Why did you agree to meet with me if these are your requirements? She was a cashier with only a high school education. Which is fine too, but jesus, with a list of requirements like that, what the hell DO YOU bring to the table? She didn't have much personality or a sense of humour (most people think I'm pretty funny, but had a pretty tough time getting a reaction out of her). Like....what makes you so entitled? Edited September 26, 2013 by crederer
pteromom Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Then when we got into the conversation about what each other are looking for in a relationship, she said "needs to be over 6 foot tall, athletic, make over 100 grand a year, quite fit, etc". Everything she mentioned was completely superficial, and quite clearly, even my profile stated, that I am not the majority of the things she stated. Why did you agree to meet with me if these are your requirements? She was a cashier with only a high school education. Which is fine too, but jesus, with a list of requirements like that, what the hell DO YOU bring to the table? She didn't have much personality or a sense of humour (most people think I'm pretty funny, but had a pretty tough time getting a reaction out of her). Like....what makes you so entitled? She's entitled to her preferences, but she's not entitled to actually find a guy like that. Once she figures out she can't get what she wants, believe me, she'll shorten her list.
Author Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 You guys should have seen what I actually typed out before I deleted it and just wrote nevermind. It was roast worthy. I think half the reason I was so surprised by the attitude was because she wasn't smoking hot. I half expect really attractive women to have a black heart and breathe poison air, but average ones? They better tell some really good jokes. Also, anyone else think inactive accounts should be automatically removed from results or matches ? Why would I even try to talk to that girl that hadn't been on in six months. All in all, alcohol goes really bad with it too. I've said some stuff where the next day I remembered and asked myself what the hell I was thinking. This gives me a really good idea for a website.
Author Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 It's very annoying when people do this "But WHHHYYYYY did he/she...?" You can almost hear the nasal whine. Then they analyze every word, every pause, every breath. Waste of time. Maybe that's what you hear because that's your thought process. You'll have to forgive people that have psychological and sociological curiosity. 1
henderson14 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 She is probably just tired of creepy guys messaging her all the time. Also, some girls are bitches and thats why they are using OLD.
gaius Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 With women like that I always assume they're looking to be dominated. Put in their place, so they act out to see what you're reaction will be. If you're a suitable man to do that or not. Most of the time I'm right. 1
crederer Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 She's entitled to her preferences, but she's not entitled to actually find a guy like that. Once she figures out she can't get what she wants, believe me, she'll shorten her list. I'm aware she's entitled to her preferences but was truly baffled with the conviction in which she was saying it with. Hard to believe people like that are actually out there.
El Brujo Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) These sites have a purpose. At its worst its there to meet new people, and at its best its thereto find a relationship. So how can an interaction like this take place ? Sounds to me like "she" was just another cyber shill hired by the dating site. Come on Dude... Are you really surprised? To these women O.L.D. is the greatest thing ever invented. In the old days, a guy had to drink a six pack and be drunk out of his mind before he would go home with a girl like that. With O.L.D. that fat cow gets 50 new messages from 50 desperate suckers a day. As smart as you say you are... You still haven't connected the dots yet? O.L.D. is for chumps. ^^^That! That! That!^^^ Edited September 27, 2013 by El Brujo
SJC2008 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 With women like that I always assume they're looking to be dominated. Put in their place, so they act out to see what you're reaction will be. If you're a suitable man to do that or not. Most of the time I'm right. Hmm that's a possibility but a shyt test right off the bat? I'll pass. At least let me get a date or two in before I fail my shyt test lol.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 It's about looks/stats on OLD, it's partially about personality and messages (and honestly most people have pretty bad profiles, especially men)....therefore you have to visually be appealing to the person to make an impression, regardless of how sincere or honest your message is...in fact most messages are quite generic in OLD so after a woman has gotten a couple hundred of those she doesn't really invest a lot of thought and energy into it and makes a quick pass and snap judgment over you. Women have the leverage in OLD in terms of interest, she can basically feel like a 10 in OLD where as in real life, comparatively standing next to other more attractive women she might not even get a second look from the guys she thinks she's capable of reeling in...and if one of those guys did prod her with his shaft one night then she actually thinks she has that looks and qualities to attract that kind of man for a relationship, when he was just giving her a roll in the hay. The point being is it's all external, it's not a personal attack on you, that's something men need to realize right out the gate with OLD because you will get burned for no damn reason, just being normal...I've seen a lot of grown men get quite affected and down about the experience...it comes as a shock, but it's really not something you should take entirely personal, It's just a game. I've done OLD and was quite successful at it...however most men I have spoken with way before LoveShack had a pretty hard time however and left with a negative attitude and experiences in OLD that they took as personal jabs to their worth...it brought down their self-esteem and all that. A lot of guys though on other websites are more successful, I've always heard from guys POF that the women were easier but I checked it out for like a day and I thought it was a crappy website personally. But any "high-standards" type of website, that attracts more relationship-minded people and working professionals that are like the cliche niches I would imagine it being much more difficult for men who are not superficially well-rounded on paper. Because even if you're a pretty good looking guy, you're likely going to struggle more in OLD than you ever would in real life...it's not enough for men to just be average looking sending out average messages, and being a "nice guy" will typically put you into the generic bin. Just realize that with OLD it's about first impressions, and you've got two seconds to make a good one...think about what kind of message or vibe you're sending out. It's a game people, it's dating...there's nothing genuine about it until much later in the process. It's not for the feint of heart...you're going to be burned for no reason or no response back occasionally, but even the beastly women have decent pickings in OLD so realize the competition and bar can be set quite higher...but at the same time, you might find yourself talking to someone who is what you've been looking for, it just might take a few bumps in the road to get there...try not to get butt hurt over little things like this.
emva07 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 My opinion is that she either wasn't interested and a) wanted to be rude so you wouldn't try again or b) gets an ego boost out of rudely turning guys down online to make up for her real world failures with the opposite sex. 1
The Way I Am Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 From my very brief experience with OLD, I was bombarded with messages from guys who very obviously hadn't read my profile and were just sending out generic messages in bulk. Your message to her wasn't at all specific and could have been a generic bulk message. You didn't mention a single thing you share in common. If your profile is intentionally vague, and she went to check it out and found that, contrary to your claim that you have a lot in common, you didn't mention anything she liked, she may have assumed you were just another irritating bulk messager just tossing out as many lines as possible and hoping one bites. She could have been nicer about her response, but maybe you caught her in a bad mood. You could have included even a slight hint of what things you liked about her profile so your message didn't seem generic. Nobody's perfect. 1
skydiveaddict Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I don't understand the logic here. A girl makes a very lengthy in depth profile. I stumble upon it, I like what I see. I don't understand it either. Why don't you go out and meet somebody for real? You know, like face to face? Real life. Make it count, win or lose. Buy her dinner, be a gentleman, go for broke. You know, be a man.
gaius Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Hmm that's a possibility but a shyt test right off the bat? I'll pass. At least let me get a date or two in before I fail my shyt test lol. I don't blame you for passing, it's like riding a bucking bronco. You and Keenly should be honored they took the time to even administer one though. Means there's something they found interesting or attractive about you. They would just ignore you otherwise.
Author Keenly Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 I don't understand it either. Why don't you go out and meet somebody for real? You know, like face to face? Real life. Make it count, win or lose. Buy her dinner, be a gentleman, go for broke. You know, be a man. All day sure. I kind of have to find her first. Work schedule makes it less than ideal to go out every night trying to meet new people. social circle is pretty stagnant and has been for a few years. The problem is lack of new incoming female acquaintances.
emva07 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 All day sure. I kind of have to find her first. Work schedule makes it less than ideal to go out every night trying to meet new people. social circle is pretty stagnant and has been for a few years. The problem is lack of new incoming female acquaintances. I'm in the same boat.
Recommended Posts