Chris21dbest Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 my gf of 2 and a half years left because i basically changed from our first year together. she is 18 and i am 21 , the problems where me not being able to drink alchahol and becoming very paranoid and snappy when i have drank to much. which usaully ended in us arguing and i had promised to stop countless number of times. She said she can see a future with me and loves me but cant be with me if im this immature and irisponsible , she also used to nag on me for not staying fit and not starting my driving license since its 18+ where i am from. in the past weeks i have tried talking to her every other day to try and arrange but all she does is tell me to leave her alone and she doesnt know if she would miss me if i keep nagging her every day. I have since been out 3-4 times a week and managing to have fun without alchahol consumption at the clubs to prove i can be the person she wants me to be. i have also not skipped one day of going to the gym and also started on my driving license while looking for a better payed job. i have told her all this and asked her if she would wait for me to achieve my goals and become more mature for her and she replied saying that i should do that and then we will see , but to still leave her alone and not talk to her in the meanwhile. i find it very hard not to talk to her ,since we werent apart for more then a few hours for the whole 2 years and a half. what do you think i should do from here on out and what are the possibilitys of her staying true to me and waiting for me?
joe86 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 By not going about it at all. Do exactly what she asked, keep doing what you are doing and don't contact her. Any contact should be started by her so you know it's what she wants, not just a polite response to you. You may soon find that you actually see benefits from NC. I did. I'm about 6 weeks post BU & have developed myself & my habits for the better. Running 3 or 4 times a week & having every day to do what I want is brilliant! The reflection time has enabled me to see things that I couldn't before & should help me in future. Post on here as well, read things here & it helps. Trust me. 3
Author Chris21dbest Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 but what if she doesn't contact first? she is a very strong hearted and hard headed individual that would stick this out and probably move on unless i dont try and do atleast something. I suffer from anxiety and Over active thyroid making the whole no contact thing more and more stressful by the hour. should i atleast try and inform her on my progress after a while has past atleast?
lauri Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 but what if she doesn't contact first? she is a very strong hearted and hard headed individual that would stick this out and probably move on unless i dont try and do atleast something. I suffer from anxiety and Over active thyroid making the whole no contact thing more and more stressful by the hour. should i atleast try and inform her on my progress after a while has past atleast? I understand why you think that...but women are attracted to challenges, men with self control and confidence. They don't want someone who is weak and can't live without them. Be confident that you don't need to be with her, have the self control that you don't need to speak with her and be a challenge by disappearing and going NC. If I was you, I would show her you are strong and that you are a challenge. You disappear, make her wonder about you and make her think she lost you. If she really wants you, she will show it. If she doesn't, then you have your answer. Don't waste your time on someone who has low interest levels in you. Only thing you can do is move forward and better yourself for next miss right when she comes along. 6
hurts2death Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 very nice lauri.... although there is a phase through the honey moon deeply in love thing where without your partner you feel you r gonna die... for all out here i am nc almost more than a month so everybody stay strong and resist the urge.... -johnI understand why you think that...but women are attracted to challenges, men with self control and confidence. They don't want someone who is weak and can't live without them. Be confident that you don't need to be with her, have the self control that you don't need to speak with her and be a challenge by disappearing and going NC. If I was you, I would show her you are strong and that you are a challenge. You disappear, make her wonder about you and make her think she lost you. If she really wants you, she will show it. If she doesn't, then you have your answer. Don't waste your time on someone who has low interest levels in you. Only thing you can do is move forward and better yourself for next miss right when she comes along.
Recommended Posts