rastamoose Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Never go out with a good friends sister! At first I thought it would be fine I don't think I really cared during the moment, my attitude is usually " I'll deal with it if it happens " It's been a few months since we broke up and I am doing really well now, I don't really miss her and I have adjusted to being single and am pretty happy. It's just kinda annoying that she is my friends sister. I have to hear about her now and then and some of my friends are friends with her. I avoid places she would be like the club we used to go to. I am lucky that I have another group of friends that are separate from her life. Her brother is having a party and has invited everyone all my friends are going to be there and his sister is going. I just thought it was a bit thoughtless of her, these are my friends not hers! To avoid any awkward situation with her I have decided not to go. Am I being unreasonable? These are all my friends and she only knows them through her brother and me. If it was the other way round I would be thinking " Even though it's my brother everyone going is his friend, so I won't go " I think she thinks it's ok because I originally agreed to be friends with her. I went NC on her after realising being her friend does not benefit me. I am not someone who can fake an interest in someone or try to act friendly with someone I don't like. I don't dislike her but I have no interest in talking to her, I don't want to be her friend right now. I don't care what she's been up to or anything. I know some will say I could go and ignore her, but I know she will react badly to it, before I know it I'm the bad guy of the party. Take my advice 1) Don't date close friends siblings 2) Don't agree to be friends after a breakup. I did it out of not wanting to be lonely. When you realise it prolongs your healing and realise it's not so bad without your ex, you won't want to be their friend.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Am I being unreasonable? These are all my friends and she only knows them through her brother and me. If it was the other way round I would be thinking " Even though it's my brother everyone going is his friend, so I won't go " OK, so why are you presently thinking (even though it's merely my friend, his blood relative should skip the event in favor of letting me attend) ??
Salvatore85 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 My ex of 5 years is one of my best friends little sister. It has basically ruined a ton of my friendships and I wouldn't suggest it to anyone.
CC12 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Am I being unreasonable? I do think you're being unreasonable by expecting her to not go to a party her own brother is throwing. Or any party, really. She was invited to go, just like you were. There's no "these are my friends not hers!" You're both kind of equally in the same situation. I think she thinks it's ok because I originally agreed to be friends with her. She probably thinks it's okay because it really is okay if she goes. You're the one with a problem. And that's fine. Not going to that party is a good decision if you don't want to see her. That's not unreasonable.
Wings Of Love Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I'm in a similar position, though not quite the same. Basically, my sister is getting married in a month's time. Her fiancé (and my soon to be brother-in-law) has a sister, who is married to my ex's brother. They originally set my ex and I up on a date. Everything was great for the year we were together. But my ex left me in July, and now I can't escape him, no matter how much I try. Because our families are so close, he is often invited to family parties. Luckily he has been too busy with his new job to attend the few parties we've had since the break up, but as I said, the wedding is on October 27th. And he and all his family are invited. Even if I wasn't a bridesmaid, I couldn't miss my sister's wedding. Which means I have no choice but to see him. So I wouldn't recommend dating anyone too close to your family either, it's far too awkward.
mammasita Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 I did it. I was with a friends brother for two years. She and I are still friends, I am still very close with her/his family so I know very well how you feel. Take some time away from them to heal, I had to. My friend didn't understand entirely, but I knew it was best for me to avoid them all. She thought I should be able to put our friendship over the relationship I had with her brother. Well, no - I couldn't. It's possible to move past it though, it's possible to keep your friends and see your ex in social settings....it will take time, but it's possible.
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