Pai Posted November 27, 2004 Posted November 27, 2004 This year I found my first big love, we've been a couple for a several months. I was very happy with him. He told me that he loves me and that he can't imagine that he will ever love any other girl as much as he loves me. Then I had to leave him to go back home. I havn't seen him for half a year now but we are still in touch... usually we talk at the phone every weekend. But since probably one month he stopped calling me regularly. But now I'm afraid that he fell in love with someone else... I'm pretty sure he was unfaithful with me ... and this behavior hurts me a lot. My plan was to go to visit him in April, but I'm not sure if I break myself when I see him again and when I've got to say goodbye again. I love him and I want to see him again (and perhaps I wanna marry him one day..) but is it right to give up every thing for a person I can't even trust ?? And is it right to go to see him and hurt myself ??
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 27, 2004 Posted November 27, 2004 Call him, and calmly ask him to be honest and up front with you about where your relationship is going. Don't be confrontational or emotional (or at least try to as much as you can), - you don't want to make demands that he'll get defensive over, you just want to know if there is a future for your relationship and if there is any need for you to come and visit in April. Make it clear that if there is no real relationship in your future, then it is time to say goodbye and good luck with the future and all that stuff. You do not want to overload him with your emotional outlook on it, or go on about how much you love him or how hurt you are or whatever - just put the ball in his court and see what he does with it. If he is still into you, and wants to work it out - then you two can go from there. But... If he tells you that he is seeing someone else, and does not see a relationship for you two - then you can thank him for his honesty, tell him that you loved him, and are thankful for the happy times you two had together and then say goodbye for good. Then hang up. Then, take a deep breath and scream - yell, vent, rage - call him every sonofabitch in the book - do whatever you need to do to let all of your hurt and anger out. It won't do you any good to unload it on him though. He'll just end up wondering what kind of woman he was involved with in the first place and he'll be thankful that you and he are over and tell himself that it was justified what he did. Best to leave him with the impression that you are gracious, kind and understanding - one day maybe he'll wonder why he left behind such a good and kind person and regret it. He may even have second thoughts...
Author Pai Posted November 28, 2004 Author Posted November 28, 2004 Hey, thanks for your reply... I called him yesterday and I wanted to talk with him about all these things BUT I CAN'T!! I'm not an English native speaker (but he is), and it's so difficult for me to find the right words ... I don't want him to think that I'm too clingy... I don't know what to do.. !!
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