Shocked by GF's opinoin of Friend

[Follower]

Background: Moved country around a year ago met girlfriend 3 months ago.

 

We have very similar personalities shes not my usual type but its still a good relationship over all.

 

Had an opportunity to travel home for free in a few weeks with a colleague for work who will be working for that week and will travel back with the colleague.

 

The colleague and myself are extremely good friends outside of work, hes one of the main reasons i settled in so well.

 

Hes one of the most kind and generous people I have known and consider him an integral part of my existence right now.

 

On the back of this opportunity seeing as the colleague will be working as soon as we arrive in the new country I asked the GF if she would like to take it as a holiday for me for the 4 nights(5days) away.

 

She liked the idea of the holiday but was hesitant about the travel with the colleague (understandable as its a 4.5 hour drive). I said to take a week or so to think it over and i wouldn't mind what her choice was.

 

She contemplated it for about and hour and phoned me back.

 

On the call she explained that she was not happy with the idea, which I said was fine(because it was, its not a big deal).

 

This is where it goes a bit awry, she then continued to explain why she didn't like the idea explaining that she doesn't like the friend because she finds him offensive(she has met him for a grand total of 3 hours of which he was sweetness and light) She then continued to explain that she finds me to be a different person when I'm around him and that she doesn't like that either.

 

Those comments have really shocked me as I don't understand the statement about the friend and I really don't understand where the comments about myself are coming from.

 

Its bothering me enough to question if its a serious red flag or not, what happens if she later on asks me to make a choice?

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated

 

Regards, Follower

[Keenly]

Background: Moved country around a year ago met girlfriend 3 months ago.

 

We have very similar personalities shes not my usual type but its still a good relationship over all.

 

Had an opportunity to travel home for free in a few weeks with a colleague for work who will be working for that week and will travel back with the colleague.

 

The colleague and myself are extremely good friends outside of work, hes one of the main reasons i settled in so well.

 

Hes one of the most kind and generous people I have known and consider him an integral part of my existence right now.

 

On the back of this opportunity seeing as the colleague will be working as soon as we arrive in the new country I asked the GF if she would like to take it as a holiday for me for the 4 nights(5days) away.

 

She liked the idea of the holiday but was hesitant about the travel with the colleague (understandable as its a 4.5 hour drive). I said to take a week or so to think it over and i wouldn't mind what her choice was.

 

She contemplated it for about and hour and phoned me back.

 

On the call she explained that she was not happy with the idea, which I said was fine(because it was, its not a big deal).

 

This is where it goes a bit awry, she then continued to explain why she didn't like the idea explaining that she doesn't like the friend because she finds him offensive(she has met him for a grand total of 3 hours of which he was sweetness and light) She then continued to explain that she finds me to be a different person when I'm around him and that she doesn't like that either.

 

Those comments have really shocked me as I don't understand the statement about the friend and I really don't understand where the comments about myself are coming from.

 

Its bothering me enough to question if its a serious red flag or not, what happens if she later on asks me to make a choice?

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated

 

Regards, Follower

 

Huge red flag. This is the precursor to the " I don't want you hanging out with him anymore " conversations.

 

 

In my opinion, especially with your closest friends, part of accepting me as a boyfriend also means accepting my friends and how we interact with each other. Less than that is intolerable.

[coolheadal]

Not good to tell someone else not to be around a friend or etc. Still you might have to look elsewhere on this one. More on don't bother with this person again.

[ExpatInItaly]

Background: Moved country around a year ago met girlfriend 3 months ago.

 

We have very similar personalities shes not my usual type but its still a good relationship over all.

 

Had an opportunity to travel home for free in a few weeks with a colleague for work who will be working for that week and will travel back with the colleague.

 

The colleague and myself are extremely good friends outside of work, hes one of the main reasons i settled in so well.

 

Hes one of the most kind and generous people I have known and consider him an integral part of my existence right now.

 

On the back of this opportunity seeing as the colleague will be working as soon as we arrive in the new country I asked the GF if she would like to take it as a holiday for me for the 4 nights(5days) away.

 

She liked the idea of the holiday but was hesitant about the travel with the colleague (understandable as its a 4.5 hour drive). I said to take a week or so to think it over and i wouldn't mind what her choice was.

 

She contemplated it for about and hour and phoned me back.

 

On the call she explained that she was not happy with the idea, which I said was fine(because it was, its not a big deal).

 

This is where it goes a bit awry, she then continued to explain why she didn't like the idea explaining that she doesn't like the friend because she finds him offensive(she has met him for a grand total of 3 hours of which he was sweetness and light) She then continued to explain that she finds me to be a different person when I'm around him and that she doesn't like that either.

 

Those comments have really shocked me as I don't understand the statement about the friend and I really don't understand where the comments about myself are coming from.

 

Its bothering me enough to question if its a serious red flag or not, what happens if she later on asks me to make a choice?

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated

 

Regards, Follower

 

Hm. Need some more information. What changes, specifically, did she say she observed in you? Did you ask her what he said/did that she found offensive?