mikejensen3355 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I just don't know how to deal with it all, it's so easy to just want to end it. I won't, but there's just no greater pain than this. I love her and I fell in love and got so attached to her 2 kids. She's with someone else now and is crazy happy and I'll never see her and those kids again. It makes me so sick to know they're so happy and that I'll never get to pick those kids up from school and take them to the park or on trips ever again. And I'm miserable. I did a stupid thing and quit my job because we worked together and I thought I'd find one right away. It's been a couple months and I can't get anything and I met her really shortly after I moved to this small town and all my friends were her friends. I'm just stuck at home alone constantly thinking about this stuff. I try to exercise and everything but it's all just by myself. It's a small town so the closest hub of meetup groups is 2 hours away, and I'm getting low on cash and can't keep making the trek all the time for simple things to do. I just want to get a job and move there and fill up all my time. And on my way back from a meetup the other night, which yes I go 2 hours there and back in one day because I'm that desperate to have any kind of distraction and human interaction, my tire blew out at 1AM on the highway. I just pulled over and slept in my car. I'm so broken and defeated. The pain is unbearable and I'm just completely stuck thinking about what she and the kids are doing all the time. I know exactly when she gets off at work and picks up her kids and does all kinds of fun stuff every day and it just kills me every day. Absolute rock bottom. I feel awful all the time and I don't know what to do.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 This sucks man. I feel for ya. Really not much advice, but I can really relate. I am in the same 'small town' predicament. Moved here together and now alone. It does seem to add a layer of difficulty when recovering. All I can say is do whatever you can to make it through the next couple of days/weeks and it will slowly start to get better. Time will heal you... Good luck
Author mikejensen3355 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Thanks. I'm just trying to make it through every day. The reminders are everywhere and I have way too much time alone and just trying to get a job as fast as I can so I have some money to spend to get out of here. This is just hell.
JDPT Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I was in your exact same predicament this past summer. No job, no school, reserves gradually depleating and of course my ex decides to dump me in the process. It was hell having absolutely nothing to do. I recall days just sitting in my living room watching TV all day doing absolutely nothing productive with my life. Fast forwarding to now, I am working, back in school and essentially have time for nothing which is great. I'm not certain how I made it out this summer alive. It will get gradually better, trust me, however, you have to proactively pave your own way. You are a free agent who needs to make things happen for you. Propel yourself somehow, find your inner strength to succeed regardless of so much opposition. You will come out of this a new and improved you.
hurts2death Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 mike yoy already got some wise posts... time will heal you but you must stay strong ,let go and love mike first
Brown-Eyez Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 well you have alot more going for you than you think! i'm really impressed you have the motivation to make the long drive to the meetup group Awesome strength you have!! you'll get through this and find a great job too! 1
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