Author Goodbye Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 Holly, we have having coffee on Monday. Keeping it VERY small. If it evolves to dinner, I will discuss it with my friend. 1
oliviah Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I agree. Dating in your 40's is bad but maybe I am just jaded and not ready. The only men that are available are ugly loosers but there has got to be someone out there in our destiny. The good thing is hopefully you are comfortable with yourself. I am trying to get there. It is a long journey. I would rather be alone and living my life than not with the man who is the one! Patience is not my virtue so I know what you are going through! I want it now but that is what gets me into unfullfilled relationships in the first place. Hang in there! Wish we could go out for a drink and hang out!
thefooloftheyear Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I agree. Dating in your 40's is bad but maybe I am just jaded and not ready. The only men that are available are ugly loosers but there has got to be someone out there in our destiny. The good thing is hopefully you are comfortable with yourself. I am trying to get there. It is a long journey. I would rather be alone and living my life than not with the man who is the one! Patience is not my virtue so I know what you are going through! I want it now but that is what gets me into unfullfilled relationships in the first place. Hang in there! Wish we could go out for a drink and hang out! I dunno...There are some good ones out there-just have to be patient...In fact, I'd consider myself somewhat more of a tighter than a looser, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I suppose.. TFY 1
Author Goodbye Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 I agree. Dating in your 40's is bad but maybe I am just jaded and not ready. The only men that are available are ugly loosers but there has got to be someone out there in our destiny. The good thing is hopefully you are comfortable with yourself. I am trying to get there. It is a long journey. I would rather be alone and living my life than not with the man who is the one! Patience is not my virtue so I know what you are going through! I want it now but that is what gets me into unfullfilled relationships in the first place. Hang in there! Wish we could go out for a drink and hang out! Well....that is a weeee bit harsh. I'd prefer a guy my own age or a bit older so hopefully they have some patience and wisdom. I think I really need to remind myself that I do not NEED anyone. That I'm fine alone...I'm doing well financially, have a nice home, kids etc. A man is an "extra" and not my life. I just start feeling frantic for that connectedness sometimes instead of learning to appreciate what is in my life. 5
JustJoe Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I agree with you Joe. Unfortunately, I'm just not wired for casual dating. And after an 17 year marriage, I'm less so. Dating is just not fun for me. I'm very much an introvert. Fun would be spending a night home alone with a book. I do enjoy being very connected to another, and I suppose I long for that. There is no easy solution. I could choose not to date and remain alone. Or I can only date those who fit my most basic standards and try and make it ask easy going and "fun" as possible.Well, Goodbye, it is , after all a date, right? If so, then do the things YOU like to do. Don't hope that it will be fun, MAKE it fun. Relax and go with it.
Author Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Joe, thank you. Will keep that in mind later today.
Author Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Well, I survived coffee and what not. A learning experience. 2
KentuckyGent Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I think I really need to remind myself that I do not NEED anyone. That I'm fine alone...I'm doing well financially, have a nice home, kids etc. A man is an "extra" and not my life. I just start feeling frantic for that connectedness sometimes instead of learning to appreciate what is in my life. Same here. I fight this every day.
hollyhillcourt Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 Well, I survived coffee and what not. A learning experience. And? Do you think you want to go further, like on another date?
Author Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 And? Do you think you want to go further, like on another date? I don't know. I suppose so. I still feel like I need to talk to my friend for whatever reason. Hate to say it, but even hanging out in a date-ish situation made me miss exMM...just shoot me please. Ugh. Hopefully this will pass quickly. I came on here to remind myself what a piece of *&^ he has been. 1
Author Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Author Posted September 30, 2013 Same here. I fight this every day. What do you fight KG? The desire for connectedness?
hollyhillcourt Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 I don't know. I suppose so. I still feel like I need to talk to my friend for whatever reason. Hate to say it, but even hanging out in a date-ish situation made me miss exMM...just shoot me please. Ugh. Hopefully this will pass quickly. I came on here to remind myself what a piece of *&^ he has been. Yes, I understand the need to talk to your friend. And missing exMM in date-ish situations does get easier.... 2
KentuckyGent Posted September 30, 2013 Posted September 30, 2013 What do you fight KG? The desire for connectedness? Yes. And any dating situation makes me immediately compare that person to exMW. I tried to date during the A but was completely mentally checked out. Some months later and I'm still at that point 1
TaintedLuv Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Yes. And any dating situation makes me immediately compare that person to exMW. I tried to date during the A but was completely mentally checked out. Some months later and I'm still at that point I convinced myself last year to date someone way under my league. As my sister put it, I ran back to MM as if there was a fire creeping up behind me. He made sharing a man forever look appetizing. Lol. I ended up being sucked back into the A for another year +. It was a huge mistake. This time around, although he still keeps breaking NC, I'm going to take my time before attempting to date. I still feel like I'll never be able to open back up going forward. Perhaps I should just start collecting cats and get a head start. lol
JustJoe Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Yes, I understand the need to talk to your friend. And missing exMM in date-ish situations does get easier....This is right. The more you date, the easier it will be, and the more comfortable YOU will be with it. PLus, if will be much more fun and also beneficial for your self image, and help you forget about Dirtbag. A win, win, win situation for you.
JustJoe Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Now, since you've had coffee, it's time to have Din-din.
Author Goodbye Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 Now, since you've had coffee, it's time to have Din-din. JJ, Yes, could happen. I just need to have the chat with my friend. Funny, I'm trying to date a divorced guy and I STILL feel like I'm interfering in someone's relationship. I think I will end up trying to make this guy into a friend. Those are useful too. Keeps everyone happy and eventually I'll find someone else. Or not. Maybe I will become a cat lady. Get a small apartment when my kids go to college and spend my days covered in cat hair. 1
hollyhillcourt Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 After the day I have had so far cat lady sounds pretty good. More bs lies from exMM.
Author Goodbye Posted October 1, 2013 Author Posted October 1, 2013 After the day I have had so far cat lady sounds pretty good. More bs lies from exMM. Oh no, what is going on?
hollyhillcourt Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 He did not leave - he lied to me to get me to talk to him. I put an update on my last thread. I'm not a happy camper right now.
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