My real-life soap opera

[nikaa91]

I met a guy a year ago, fell for him immediately. We clicked on every level, the chemistry was incredible. However, soon it turned out that he had a gf. He met her like a month or two before meeting me, so it wasn't like a long serious relationship. We became best friends and hung out all the time. I tried to get over him and succeeded. The problem was that he was giving me mixed signals - telling me I'm pretty, flirting with me etc. But he still had his boo, so I didn't do anything to seduce him.

 

The line was crossed after 6 months of our friendship. One time after a party he insisted to stay and we ended up making out for a couple of hours. The next day he blamed the booze (poor excuse) and said he was really sorry. He didn't tell his gf. I know I shouldn't have let him caress me but I thought he would break up with that girl. And he didn't. He even said they were MEANT to be together.

 

That is not the worst part. It happened two times more (over a period of 6 months) but there was no talk about getting together. Shortly after the last making out session he suggested we go to the movies together but didn't continue the subject. My friends told me that he wants ME to make a decision for him and to ask HIM out. A couple of days after that, he got drunk, started crying like a baby (loud and in front of people) and I found out that he had finally told her and she got pretty mad and left him. That's why he told me about that movie night earlier. He said he wanted to kill himself when she left. He also said that he wants to move back home cause nothing keeps him in this city anymore. I was there for him and comforted him for many hours. Soon the made up and he was no longer 'allowed' to drink in my companionship - once again, he blamed the %. A month passed and HE broke up with HER (!)

 

Now he wants me to be his gf. He said he stopped loving that girl some time ago and he was just angry with her and sick of arguing. If that's true , why didn't he break up with her earlier? Why wouldn't he leave her for me? He knew I liked him. Oh yeah, funny part is that he is 23, I'm 22 and the girl turned out to be... 14! She was 13 when they started dating! She's a heavy metal kind of a chick, wears lots of make up, wears corsets and high heels and he says she's very mature. They met at a heavy metal concert. I knew she was young but I thought she was like 17... I was so grossed out when he finally told me.

 

He's not a player type, he's very sensitive and emotional and has VERY low self esteem. He has a lot of issues from his childhood (alcoholic father) and doesn't seek professional help. I have more family problems than he does, but I DID seek help and got it. His ex was a real mess, I mean soap opera kind of mess (the one before the 13 yrs old)- cutting herself, cancer, coma, losing memory and so on. Even though their relationship was toxic, he tried to kill himself after breaking up. Some psycho guy involved with his ex started texting him and threatened him online (no real danger tho), and he got so depressed he stopped going to classes and had problems passing the year. Why didn't he just block the dude? As simple as that... Eventually he gave up on college, got a job, and started drinking too much alone (like 3 beers a day). He hates his ex passionately, after the break up he told her everything that happened between us just to bring her down. He changes his mind a lot. He is so sweet and funny but immature at the same time.

Edited September 26, 2013 by nikaa91

[nikaa91]

I said I was disgusted as well. I still am. But she kind of tricked him. She didn't tell him how old she really was at first. She looks 17/18 with all that makeup and clothing, drinking and going to concert and parties. She told him after a month of hanging out when he was already in love. She's not an innocent, seduced victim. Her parents were okay with that, they even liked him a lot. Now she's dating his ex friend. She's 15 and he's 25! She apparently likes older guys.

[StanMusial]

You will have fun visiting him in prison. Maybe conjugal visits in 3 to 5 years, sooner if good behavior. Bring some salve for his butthole.

[nikaa91]

I'm just trying to say that he is not a 'predator'. He said they did 'almost everything' except for actual sex. Still gross and yucky for me. His previous ex was 20 so it's not like he only likes teens. He's not a user, a guy who sleeps around, he is soo emotional and sensitive.

But he has so much baggage. I'm looking for someone I will marry one day. I don't want to waste my time for something that is doomed to fail. He hates himself so how can he love me?

[ExpatInItaly]

That is repulsive. Honestly, OP....shame on you for trying to defend this creep. She "tricked" him and he was already "in love" so it's all understandable? That is a deeply disturbing attitude.

 

He was messing around with a CHILD. Think about that. Think about that every day and every night. Get your head on straight.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm just trying to say that he is not a 'predator'. He said they did 'almost everything' except for actual sex. Still gross and yucky for me. His previous ex was 20 so it's not like he only likes teens. He's not a user, a guy who sleeps around, he is soo emotional and sensitive.

But he has so much baggage. I'm looking for someone I will marry one day. I don't want to waste my time for something that is doomed to fail. He hates himself so how can he love me?

 

By the way, do you actually believe this crap? *headdesk x10000000000*

[nikaa91]

I am sure.

[ExpatInItaly]

I am sure.

 

How are you sure? By taking the word of an adult who has an intimate relationship with a child? OP, it is sick.

[Carenth]

Looking to date a kiddy fiddler sounds like a real charmer along with his many other lovely redeeming qualities.

 

OP you should run, run and never look back. You have some serious issues yourself if you are actually ok with this.