Is it time to quit?

[classicsong]

Hi everyone, just a little background story about me before I get into my dilemma. I am 22 years old, in Dec I will be finishing my associates in nursing and plan on moving on in my education. I recently lost my father last Thanksgiving, which has been a huge emotional distress. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 3 years now, he is a business major, 23 years old and makes 37K a year. I am including this information because he lives at home with his parents rent free, and pays for nothing at home besides his cell phone, gas and car insurance.

 

Tonight seemed to have been an eye opener for me. I played it off but perhaps I should not have. My boyfriend is trying to open a business and I give him credit for all the research he has done and the website is great but he has asked for a lot of my help monetary and time. When something is not right, he gets very upset and even belittles me but mind you I am a nursing major not business. This has caused major fights because he says it is not the effort that counts but if it is done right.

 

Pulling a little to the side here, I have recently started working a 16 hr part time for my expenses and he wants us to split 50/50 on dates and contribute more money to his business. He claims he is on a budget, not cheap.

 

I refused, I said no because there is so gaurentee for this and I do not want to regret my time lost helping you and in the end we can break up. He said we will be together forever, and get married in between sooner and eventually.

 

I don't make a lot of money and what I make is for my expenses and to help at home, not once since my father passed has he asked my mother hey how are you doing.

 

It sounds awful as I type this, he is a good guy but perhaps at this point in life he cannot commit? I am also not asking for marriage now because I have other goals but his answer made me upset.

[ChessPieceFace]

So your love interest is irresponsible, has little income, doesn't have a good head on their shoulders and expects you to pay for everything and commit your future to them.

 

Now you know what it's like to be a guy!

[SoaringPhenix]

So he just expects you to work your ass off helping him with his new business AND provide a stream of cash as WELL?

 

And for all your work and cash he seems to think he's entitled to because he throws you some lip service about being married one day, this cheap little weasel STILL splits the occasional dinner out at the Olive Garden right down the middle and makes you pay half?

 

He's a self-entitled little jack-hole. Jesus, just the fact alone that you're working for him and putting an effort forward for him to realize his goal is reason ALONE to occasionally treat you to a nice meal or show as a way of THANKS for your efforts.

 

This guy is such a selfish little jerkoff. And he's a self-important horse's ass for not even having the good grace to ask your mother how she's doing. This is one little cretin whose going to be mighty disappointed when scientists discover the center of the earth - and he's not IT.

 

Kick his selfish, self-entitled ass to the curb.

 

Ditto! This guy is just using you. I say RUN!

[soccerrprp]

It sounds awful as I type this, he is a good guy but perhaps at this point in life he cannot commit? I am also not asking for marriage now because I have other goals but his answer made me upset.

 

Firs of all, you NEED to stop feeling bad about how you feel!

 

There are some MAJOR red-flags here and your uneasiness is warranted.

 

 

1. He is being cheap. Budget my toosh! He lives with his parents while making 37K/year. There's very little responsible and real-to-life budgeting going on here.

2. Honey, I can see MONEY MONEY MONEY being a LT issue with this guy.

3. AND DON'T help him with his business! WHAT???!?!?!?! You two are dating, he's still living with his parents, asks you to invest in uncertainty AND in a dating relationship. Has he set the date of the wedding? No. You have A LOT more to lose is any goes south.

4. He belittles you....enough said. Doesn't matter if you don't understand the intricacies of business or his version of it...belittling indicates lack of respect.

 

Your intuition, reasoning here is spot on.

 

Move on....I agree with others. He's a (loser) user.