napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I have talked to a lot of guys since being single and this one guy I've talked too recently tells me this, when I ask him the following; What types of music do you like? Him: "I like anything". What types of movies, books, comic books, video games, tv shows do you like? Him: "I don't know." But yet he says he's had girlfriends before if thats the case what did they have in common? This guy is already telling me he likes me and cares for me but yet we don't have anything in common and he isn't doing much talking. Ugh this guy is driving me nuts.
crederer Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Sounds like you gotta find someone else.....
MrCastle Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Are common interests very important to you? I thought they once were, but as long as there is mutual primal attraction, it isn't needed. I like to tease them when their tastes don't align with mine. It works for me. 1
todreaminblue Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 some guys are hard to talk to ...when you hit brick walls in conversations you detour and go around the wall, you feel them out.....if they say i like anything in regards to music start talking about bands and or artists you like then bands artists you have seen then maybe some you would like to see...this is an opening.......to ask if you are interested in him that is to come along to a concert or a open mike night......so kamikaze.... share some personal insight a story you have or some funny occurrence....... your ideas on influences your type of music has on others i can go deeper i wont......the only way to open up closed off people is to make them comfortable......you do this by showing who you are you put yourself out there, they dont feel so guarded they open up.....conversation takes two...someone has to lead its a dance...if a dance is crap ....its not because one person was crap the dance sucked its becausethe dance didnt have a proper lead dancer........then when you get a clear run he starts to open listen carefully, carry the conversation then on his passion.......be interested.....dont expect a conversation to happen on five words...what music do you like...be the mlead dancer and show him some music to dance too.......deb 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I learned this through car sales. "What type of car are you looking for?" "Anything really." "Well let's go look at some mini vans then!" BOOM. All of a sudden anything turns into something in particular. Next time you are with him, turn on some One Direction and then say "Well you told me you like anything!" I personally wouldn't go through the trouble, but it would make a good point. 6
princess_peach Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Try asking him what he does for fun, or about his job. Maybe he doesn't watch a lot of movies or read books or anything that you mentioned, which would explain why he has no preferences in those areas.
crederer Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I learned this through car sales. "What type of car are you looking for?" "Anything really." "Well let's go look at some mini vans then!" BOOM. All of a sudden anything turns into something in particular. Next time you are with him, turn on some One Direction and then say "Well you told me you like anything!" I personally wouldn't go through the trouble, but it would make a good point. I used to sell cars. This guy sounds like a terrible salesman, from the customer service perspective.
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I used to sell cars. This guy sounds like a terrible salesman, from the customer service perspective. Really? Funny, because I was the sales person. It always worked for me, course, like most GOOD sales people, I did it in the most charming way possible. Want to know how many times I got a chuckle? EVERY TIME. Want to know how many cars I sold? A **** TON. Thanks for the input though. 2
heartshaped Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Are common interests very important to you? I thought they once were, but as long as there is mutual primal attraction, it isn't needed. I like to tease them when their tastes don't align with mine. It works for me. You don't know what I was thinking before I read the rest of that sentence... OP, sounds like he doesn't have much of a personality if you ask me. I've run into a few guys like him that every time you ask them what they like it's some noncommittal answer. It annoys me to no end. 2
Purepony Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Really? Funny, because I was the sales person. It always worked for me, course, like most GOOD sales people, I did it in the most charming way possible. Want to know how many times I got a chuckle? EVERY TIME. Want to know how many cars I sold? A **** TON. Thanks for the input though. Lol! Slow down joe girard
candie13 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 a few theories here: he may know what he likes but not feel like sharing. Some guys are closed off at the beginning, some just don't want to share things about themselves. There's nothing you can do, it is this guy's decision to open up to you... or not. You can only be encouraging and open minded and non judgemental. Maybe his preferences are very specific and he's afraid he might look like a loser if he shares them with you. That is a sign of insecurity. My recent experience showed me that these guys are better left alone. They will always be insecure and nothing you can do to heal them. You just need to work again and again and again to make them speak. And then, when they get scared for whatever reason, guess what, you're gonna have to start working on gaining their confidence back all over again. Not worth it. And then, it's also possible that this guy actually doesn't know what he likes. He doesn't know himself or cares to have an interest. Also those people wouldn't say: "I don't like anything" they would say "I like everything, I don't have any specific preferences." I'm afraid you've bumped into a guy who is complicated and likes it that way. He is supposed to want to get to know you, he is supposed to become mad finding out what you like, not the other way around. Run. 1
jacksonvillae Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Ask him yourself, and if you are too shy, have one of your friends ask for you
normal person Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 As someone said, sharing common interests is only important if you think it is. I've been with plenty of girls who I've had little to nothing in common with, but as long as they were passionate about the things they liked and could enlighten about them (and vice versa), then it wasn't an issue. Someone should be able to show you why they like certain things and hopefully you can appreciate that even if you don't like the thing yourself. I think your problem is less having a common interest and more of your boyfriend having no interests. What does he like doing? What's he passionate about? How does he spend his free time? What are his aspirations? If he could do/buy one thing what would it be? If he can't answer any of these questions, I think you're in for a very boring ride with this guy.
miss_jaclynrae Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Yeah, but that has more to do with you being a(an attractive) female than your ability to sell cars. Wherever I go to the mall, to any shop or even to buy razors I'm approached by female workers. Never a male. Add a little smile, giggle a little, and most guys are going to buy whatever it is the woman is trying to sell. Heck, just a month ago I went out with my father to a mall, was approached by some store clerk there who tried to extort money from my father by saying with a smile ''hey, don't you want to buy x for your lovely wife?'' ''I would, but I don't have any money with me.'' ''There's an ATM machine over there.'' Well, at least my mother married my father before expecting money I've met many talented car salesmen who've gone out of the business because they can't sell cars. Sadly, women aren't sex-starved like most men seem to be. Seriously? You really think my looks are why I was so successful? If that is the case, then you have NO idea what sales entails, especially on big purchases.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Man, this would drive me nuts! I need some passion in somebody. Even if they're passionate about something I'm not even remotely into, that's infinitely better than a general lackluster 'liking' anything. I always think if you 'like' everything, you probably 'love' nothing.
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 I ended up cutting that guy off we just weren't clicking. He didn't want me too but I had too hahahaha.
HokeyReligions Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Start talking about your views on politics and religion. If it doesn't get a rise out of him move on. If he does start talking and you discover you have opposing views you can avoid what might become a volatile relationship. Or if its a good debate you'll have something upon which to build.
deathandtaxes Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 As someone said, sharing common interests is only important if you think it is. I've been with plenty of girls who I've had little to nothing in common with, but as long as they were passionate about the things they liked and could enlighten about them (and vice versa), then it wasn't an issue. Someone should be able to show you why they like certain things and hopefully you can appreciate that even if you don't like the thing yourself. . Indeed! I don't want to date a female version of myself. I want somebody to introduce me to what they're passionate about and vice versa. I didn't get past date three with a lady because she said we didn't have enough in common. It's not like we couldn't talk to each other and have decent conversation. I guess she just wasn't able to bridge that difference in interests. And I even told her I wanted to do some of the things she really loved. Maybe she thought I was bs'ing her?
crederer Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Really? Funny, because I was the sales person. It always worked for me, course, like most GOOD sales people, I did it in the most charming way possible. Want to know how many times I got a chuckle? EVERY TIME. Want to know how many cars I sold? A **** TON. Thanks for the input though. lol sorry didn't mean to offend. I don't doubt you can sell.
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