mammasita Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I want to be honest of course. I'm not trying to have sex with them. Sure I run the risk of ending up with zilch lol, but I truly want to date them both and get to know them and then make a decision. What can I say to at least try to keep them both around? Do I even HAVE to say anything? It's easy to decipher when it's not my situation, but when it's me I just don't know
nescafe1982 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 If you're multidating, it's best to be upfront about it. You aren't required to adhere to the same dating style as any of the guys you're dating, but if they ask you should be frank and answer honestly. That's the best way to avoid the potential for conflict and misunderstandings down the line. Multi-dating becomes (as you allude) significantly more difficult to maintain once sex or physical intimacy happens. So you're absolutely right (in my opinion) to hold off on getting serious with anyone while you're at the multidating stage. When I was multidating, I wouldn't see any one man more than around 1-2 times a week (usually once). But there is no shame in multidating, and if any man you're seeing can't handle that you want to take things slow, then he's not worth the investment in my opinion.
Tony T Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Of course you can date both of them and you don't have to tell them unless they ask. People date many people ALL THE TIME! The only time it comes into question is when one of the other asks or wants to offer information. And why do you need to decide between these two? Leave your options open. Good chance one of these guys has a friend he could introduce to you who could end up being Mr. Right!!!
StanMusial Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Just don't tell them about each other. Go out a few times and see what happens. I went out with a girl a few years ago, she told me on the phone after our third date she was also dating someone else. I didn't really like it, I'm a busy guy and the unemployed loser down the street saw her more frequently than me. Nothing I could do really so I half-assed my way through another date and pretty much wrote her off. Of course then she started blowing up my phone and doing the whole hot/cold routine. But the cat was out of the bag at that point. The moral of the story, play it close to the vest and make an honest effort to choose. Don't be shady and wishy washy about it.
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