MrTurk Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 It seems from my experience, with women in my area(Ne Ohio), that since they expect guys to initiate, and do most of the leg work in getting a date set up.....that they do not need to hold themselves to the same standards of communication and attentiveness as they expect the guys to be. They KNOW that if the guy wants to date them he has to do this this and that....or else the date wont happen, and she will move on to the guy that is showing her the attention she wants/demands. I think this is the breakdown that will forever haunt me. I seem to expect this dating thing to be 50/50. And the women see it more as a 70/30 thing. I also seem to analyze my potential date the same way women analyze a guy. So instead of me being a typical guy....and just doing and saying the right things to make her like me.....I question women on things they wrote in their profile, or things they told me when we talk on the phone. And it seems to rub them the wrong way. I think a lot of women are not used to a guy kind of dissecting them like that. Most guys do not pry.....they just shut up and say only things that benefit the situation. Problem is I analyze a woman from a point of view as to dating her long term, and picturing a long term relationship. If something is a flag to me, I question it to get more evidence, instead of speculating. People are just not used to someone being so attentive, and actually paying attention or caring about everything they say. I think they just expect me to be a guy where most sh*t goes in one ear and out the other. I wish I was still with Dianne I never would have let her go if I knew then what I know now about myself and the world.
Author MrTurk Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Women tend to do most of the communicating and also tend to do more work in long term relationships (most definitely in marriages!) because men get complacent. So I dont feel bad men have to do more work in the beginning. What would you rather have, do more work for 1-2 months to get someone attached or be the one doing more work for years? Yea....that almost is relevant to my thread. And do you really think thats what women are thinking when dating starts? "I'm gonna let him do all the work now...because it will even out years from now when I do my share during the marriage"
Author MrTurk Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 (edited) You're still not addressing the fact that the woman is putting in very little from the start. There is no "guarantee" that the woman is going to deliver me a worthy payback during the relationship. You are speculating. If more men would start expecting more from women.....like women expect from men...things would become more equal. But majority of men will always chase. Men will always think with their d*ck. And women know they can ditch a guy and have 20 more knocking at the door. Edited September 26, 2013 by MrTurk
Author MrTurk Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 I notice guys on this site tend to overestimate how popular girls are. Sure she could get 20 guys to sleep with her, but not 20 guys interested in her as a person so keep that in mind. True.....but if a woman has guys interested in sex, she has a chance at a guy wanting her for a relationship as well. As a guy....I have pretty much zero chance of a woman wanting me for either, UNLESS I put in the effort first and show MY interest. A guy has to be very attractive to make a woman initiate contact. And even then, most women still won't contact first. Men chase for a reason. All the guys that didn't chase me much never really liked me that much. Its a good way to weed out who is interested in you I agree to a point. But a guy can still put in a lot of time even if he just wants sex. Some guys see it as a bigger turn on and challenge to break her down and score the prize. Myself on the other hand....if a woman wants to be lax on her interest with me, as a way of gauging my interest, she can take a hike. This isn't high school any more. Women need to STOP using games to gauge this and that. Open your damn mouth and communicate. Because I believe more so than not, that women end up being wrong when they try to guess or speculate on what a guy is thinking, or what his intentions are.
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