MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 I just found out today that my new house will be ready early Jan instead of March. I'm still living with STBX and sleeping in the same bed. We had planned on waiting until after Christmas to tell the kids (age 7&9). Now that I need to begin packing, writing up sep. agreement, deciding who gets what, buying furniture, etc etc, would it be better to tell the kids now? The other option is to wait until just a few days after Christmas and hope they haven't caught on to the packing and all the new furniture being stored in the garage (if needed). All the info I've read says to wait until a couple weeks prior to one person moving out. The kids will be living with each of us 50% of the time.
Haunani Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 That's a tough one......I'm going through the same things now too......But for me, it will be easier once I'm out of the house, then my head will be clearer. But I don't want to do anything until after the holidays - packing, etc. Probably right before my bday 12-30.....what a way to start the new year. Good luck to you.
MelodyJ Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 M/W/C My kids were the same ages as yours, plus 2 slightly older when I divorced their dad, we also do 50/50 custody. What helped them was to keep it peaceful, and letting them pick out the things for their new rooms. If you and your STBX can get along and discuss the move without anger, they will see that. Assure them that both of you will always be there for them because they probably know some kids who never see the other parent, or not enough anyway. It is going to be hard for them no matter what, but don't wait until they see the packing. Kids are resilient, and my opinion is to be upfront and honest with them. Mine are now all happy, well adjusted teenagers. Sign me, Mom of 4 and we've made it this far.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted November 29, 2004 Author Posted November 29, 2004 We decided to wait until after Christmas as planned. I will still take a few weeks to move in to the new house and they can help out and plan things. thanks.
Scott S Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Originally posted by mom-wife-cheater I just found out today that my new house will be ready early Jan instead of March. I'm still living with STBX and sleeping in the same bed. We had planned on waiting until after Christmas to tell the kids (age 7&9). Now that I need to begin packing, writing up sep. agreement, deciding who gets what, buying furniture, etc etc, would it be better to tell the kids now? The other option is to wait until just a few days after Christmas and hope they haven't caught on to the packing and all the new furniture being stored in the garage (if needed). All the info I've read says to wait until a couple weeks prior to one person moving out. The kids will be living with each of us 50% of the time. Children are more observant & perceptive than you may think. You may have to break the news earlier than you planned, & at an unexpected time. You would be well-advised to start rehersing what you intend to say.
havNfun Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 why did you cheat? is there a thread here about that?
Summerday Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 MWC, Where can I find your first post, I'm wondering what happened in your marriage? Good luck to you also, so far it looks like you have your situation under control.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 You're deluding yourself if you think kids can't figure out what's happening in the absence of obvious physical signals. When TBXWW and I agreed to end things, my kids were 6 and 2. We sat down my daughter (the 6-year-old) and started to tell her, in a very roundabout way, that we were splitting up. I hadn't started packing yet, though there had been palpable tension in the house for a couple of months (with a couple of incidents of shouting). Anyway, not a minute into the careful explanation, my daughter started crying and said, "I know what's happening! You're getting a divorce!" What could we say to that? I was impressed by her perceptiveness. I also did what every book says you should do, i.e. tell the kids that it's not their fault. My daughter replied, "I KNOW that," with a look on her face that said, "I'm not an idiot, you know." The point is, they can pick up vibes very well, especially for people with so little life experience.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted December 7, 2004 Author Posted December 7, 2004 I'm not sure how to put links to my other posts, but you can do a search for my username to find them. That's how I find out where I was! Not sure you really want to read them. That is interesting about your 6 yr old. How perceptive! I sometimes think maybe my 9yr old son knows something because he has had a bit of an attitude lately. Thanks for the info, we will try and prepare for that scenario as well. We decided still to wait until the new year. I move Jan 21.
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